Page 71 of Steeling Light
She shakes her head and pulls back. I don’t want her to go, though. Her hand leaving is like the ground is giving way, like my soul will never be as solid as when she’s touching me. But it reminds me that I have questions for her, and more importantly, I have things to say.
“I…”
I try to speak, but she interrupts, and something inside me doesn’t let me speak over her. “I need your help, Ainslee, and I have little time.”
I blink. What would a goddess need from me? “Anything you need,” I say instinctively. “Just name it, and I’ll do it.”
She smiles, but it’s broken. “Do not agree to things so easily, even to a goddess,” she chides. “What I ask is not a simple thing.”
I blink again, trying to clear my head, but it’s hard to think when she’s near. Everything inside me wants to go to her, to press my head against her hand again. “You’re my mother, and you’re the Goddess of Hope. I cannot imagine what you could ask that I wouldn’t want to help you with.”
She nods slowly, and this time her smile brightens just a touch. “There are dark times coming, Ainslee. The darkest times that Nyth will ever see. Death will be everywhere. Beings created with the sole purpose of causing torment and agony will run unchecked upon the land.” She pauses as if to mourn something and takes a breath. “I will be bound by the laws that will be created. I will be…limited. I will not be able to care for the people of this land as I would like. Instead, I will need a champion.”
Maerlix, Vellith, and Cadence’s warnings echo in my mind.But only Light can save the ones who are lost to the darkness of their nightmares; only Light can guide them from the places in their minds where there is no path.
“You are the only person in the history of Nyth to wield Light and Steel as a single power. You are the Countess of the House of Light, the group of High Fae that I understand best. More than anything, you are my daughter. I trust no one as much as you.”
I don’t reach for her, don’t let my instincts carry my body and mind into a fog of safety. “What will happen if I agree?”
This time, she truly smiles. “You will become a champion of hope. You will protect the people who are nothing but prey to the creatures that will come. You will lead my armies, not to attack, but to save the people whose lives matter, yet everyone has forgotten. You will be a beacon to the lost, safety to the wounded, and hope to the ones who no longer believe there is any good in the world. You will be the one who reminds even the gods that there is more that matters beyond strength of arms. You will teach people to love even when death knocks on the door.”
Today, I claimed the Crystal Throne. I sat tall and accepted the responsibility of an entire House. I accepted that I could do it because Rhion and Darian were at my side. I may not believe in myself completely, but I believe in them, and I know that together, we can rule.
“Mother, what happens if I fail? What happens if I’m not good enough? How many more people will die because I’m me instead of someone like Cole?”
She sighs, and it’s as though the entire world sighs alongside her. “You will fail. Repeatedly. Hope is not success. Hope is both nothing and everything. You cannot stop death from occurring. You cannot protect every child. You will probably fail more than you succeed, but Ainslee, you will succeed. Thousands of lives will be saved. Children will become adults with smiles even though they were orphaned. Women will love again even after their husbands die. It will not be your job to stop death. It will be your charge to remind the living to truly live.You’ll teach them to smile in between the tears.And that is not something Cole Cyrus could have done.”
My mother reaches out her hand, and when she touches my cheek this time, it’s not to make me feel like a child again. Instead, the world around me changes. Instead of a serene, moonless night, the darkness is terrifying. I’m in the middle of a small village full of cottages with thatched roofs. Flashes of something darker than the night move past the first cottage, and the lights go out. The lanterns, torches, and cook fires sizzle as if someone had thrown water on them, and then there are screams. Terror seizes me in a way that only Morvael has ever made me feel.
The sound of ripping flesh is constant, and the number of screams only grows. I move closer to my mother, who still glows softly. “Steel the Light, Ainslee,” she whispers. “Steel the Light and fight back the darkness.”
I glance up at her, and when she puts a hand on my back, I remember what it was like facing down Morvael. There were no fears or regrets. Instead, I was filled with a sense of life. I smile even amidst the screams of the dying and the nightmares that feast on them.
The world explodes in silver Light so like the moon. It seeks the darkness and the creatures hiding in it, nightmarish things seemingly made of ink shaped into claws and fangs. They scream at the light, and I feel a pressure as their calls war against my powers.
But I keep smiling. Blades appear from the light, stabbing and cutting the creatures just as they had against Morvael, except this time, I know I can kill these things. Shining like a beacon, I step toward the first of the cottages where a child runs out, finally able to see the doorway that offers an escape from the terror that has killed her parents.
She doesn’t keep running, though. Clinging to my legs, she looks up, but I have to focus on what’s in front of me. The nightmarish creatures turn toward us, leaving the bloody and broken corpses behind them.
They’re humanoid-shaped even though they walk on all fours. Eyeless, with oversized jaws filled with razor-sharp teeth, their faces would be terrifying on their own. But those teeth don’t compare to the six-inch long claws that scratch the ground with every step.
I can see it all clearly, just as I could with Morvael, but only when the Light is shining on them. The rest of the time, they’re just a blur in the darkness. A spear appears from the silver glow and stabs one of them through the stomach. Black smoke leaks from the wound before it closes up.
It howls and rushes toward me, yet the little girl still clings to my leg. Even as a literal monster attacks,Iam safety to this little girl who has no one. More weapons appear, just as in my fight with Morvael, and each of them attacks the two nightmares. They wound, but the wounds are healed before they’ve taken another step.
Then, my mother steps up beside me and smiles. The Light around us changes ever so slightly, from silver to gold. The creatures fall, screaming in pain, and then they’re gone. I look down at the little girl for just a moment, and I see the hope in her eyes. She believes that she’ll survive. She’ll have such a difficult life without her parents, but she’ll have a life.
And then the fireflies come. No different from my childhood, they appear unexpectedly. They dance in chaotic patterns, always drawn to my Light, and even amid the worst night of this girl’s life, a scene of wonder makes her smile as thousands of fireflies fill the sky and cover us in their glow.
“Thank you,” the girl whispers, and then everything disappears. I’m back on the ramparts of the Keep of Light. I’m no longer glowing, and the little girl is gone. My mother is still there, though, her face filled with worry.
“That’s what you want from me? To face down true nightmares all alone? I’m no warrior, Mother.”
Her face doesn’t change. “No, I do not want you to do anything alone. You’re a Countess, Ainslee.”
I stare at her and think about that moment. I would have died without her powers. Everyone would have died, including that little girl. I couldn’t have saved them all, but with her powers I could have saved some. “I will be your champion, Mother. If what you showed me is coming, I won’t be hiding in my Keep. I’ll be fighting just as Cole would have. I will stand with the others, and if being your champion is what will save more people, then I’ll do what you need me to do.”
My mother nods slowly. “You always were braver than me,” she says with a smile. “The bravest and most wonderful girl I have ever known. I hope that this is enough.” A golden dagger appears in her hand, and she pricks the tip of her middle finger.
