Page 23 of Steeling Light
I nod to him and swallow, and when he offers me his hand, I take it. This time, though, I let myself think of the way his hand feels wrapped around mine. It’s protective and strong, yet he doesn’t show an ounce of it as he holds me.
“Let’s go find someplace to watch the stars.” No one else in my entire life would have suggested we do that. Ever.
It’s stupid and pointless, just like this tasting was. “That sounds wonderful.” He leads the way out of the alcove to a banquet hall that’s filled to bursting with Immortals of all types. He doesn’t let us linger. For the first time, he squeezes tighter, making sure that I don’t lose him as we navigate the crowds, and I’m thankful for the quiet and solitude of the alcove.
Then we’re outside, and the sparkling lights of the City of Moonlight remind me of exactly why people flock to it for romantic getaways. Everything glows as the moonlight touches it, lighting it in a silver hue. Even the cobblestones at our feet have flecks of some kind of metal that seem to hold the light and bring it to life.
Rhion sighs, and I take a deep breath. “It’s beautiful,” he murmurs. “Don’t you think?”
I can’t disagree with him. “It is.”
We stand on the street corner and marvel at the view silently. People walk past, and as we do, I notice something I’ve never picked up on before. They look at me. Each of the people that passes meets my gaze, not Rhion’s. No one would mistake me for the more noticeable person, either. He stands taller than literally anyone I’ve ever met, and I’m just a normal girl. Unless my face is still covered in cake and Rhion’s not telling me, there’s no reason they should look at me instead of him.
“What’d you mean earlier? Before I ate that blood candy.”
He looks at me, his blonde eyebrow raised. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“About my making friends for the night.”
Rhion chuckles. “Oh, that. People are drawn to you, Ainslee. That’s all I was trying to say. But only when you’re away from Darian and Cole. They smother your presence. You hide behind them and become just as unnoticeable as a guard, but when you’re away from them, you shine like a star, and no one can ignore you.”
I frown and turn to him. “I don’t understand. I’m no different now than when I’m with Darian and Cole. Why would anything change?”
He doesn’t look at me, his eyes still taking in the city from where we stand at the top of a small hill. “Yes, you do. You let them lead. You talk about the topics they bring up. You do what they suggest. You laugh at their jokes. If Cole had said that he didn’t want to go to this tasting, would you have pushed him like you pushed me?”
My stomach sinks as reality forces its way in. “No, I wouldn’t. If Cole had said we should do something else, then we probably would have done that. I wouldn’t have been angry, though. It’s just the way things are with Cole.”
At this, Rhion turns to me, and a hint of anger is in his eyes. “Cole has priorities, and they are not everyone else’s. He’s strong and very motivated in achieving what he wants to achieve, but he is not the only person in the world that matters. You matter too, Ainslee. In my mind, you matter even more, and your wants and needs are even more important. Just because Cole is trying to be the savior of the world doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do silly things for no other reason than because it makes you smile. Sometimes, it’s okay to smile instead of judging the world for being happy.”
I want to tell him that Cole’s carrying the world on his shoulders, but when I look into Rhion’s eyes, I know I can’t talk about carrying a weight that’s too heavy. He may not carry the same weight as Cole, but he’s certainly experienced feeling responsible for things that are too big for him.
“Why are people drawn to me, Rhion?” I ask instead. “What is it that makes them look at me instead of you?”
The change of subject is enough to soothe his temper. “Because you’re just impossible to look away from. You have a light—not literally—that just…draws the eye.It’s like we’re all moths and you’re the flame. That’s a big part of why I can always find you in a crowd, even if you’ve shifted. When I start walking, and I end up somewhere I didn’t mean to, I know that you’re there. It’s like the world is pulling me to you, like you’re a lodestone and I’m a dumb piece of iron. Plus, you’re beautiful. Who stares at me when they could stare at you looking like you do?”
That doesn’t make any sense at all. “That can’t be true. No one notices me. They see Cole and forget I’m even there.” I completely ignore the comment about my beauty because if I think about that… I don’t know what will happen.
He presses his body against me and wraps his arm around my shoulders before leaning down and holding out his hand. “Look at it, Ainslee. This city is gorgeous. It’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen, far more wonderful than Draenyth or the Keep of Steel. But you can’t see it when the sun’s out. It looks just like every other city then. Cobblestones under your feet, houses and shops on your sides, and clouds in the sky. You can’t see the beauty when the sun’s rays shine down on it because it doesn’t know how to shine in that light.”
A shiver runs up my spine as his warmth and words wash over me. His scent is everywhere, and it’s like I can’t even smell the forged metal. It’s all wildflowers. It’s all freedom and wildness.
“You’re the city, Ainslee, and Cole is the sun. You hide your light when he’s around, letting him lead everyone, yourself included. But the moment he leaves you, you begin to glow. You become the girl I…”
He shakes his head and pulls back, removing his arm and that wonderful warmth from me. “You become the girl I could find anywhere,” he finishes. It’s obvious that those weren’t the words he’d wanted to say.
A sense of longing wells up inside me, and I want to press my body against his, to feel him against me again. I don’t, though. Instead, I turn away from the city and look at him. “You’re saying I’m only beautiful when I’m not with Cole?” I mean it as a joke, and I expect the grin on my face to tell him I’m playing. Somehow, he ignores the playfulness completely.
He chuckles. “No, Ainslee, you’re beautiful all the time. You just don’t shine when you’re with him.”
This time, I can’t let the compliment escape me, and heat warms my cheeks. I can’t acknowledge it, though, because I don’t know what it means. Is it a friend complimenting me? Is it more than that? It’s just too complicated.
“So you think I should spend time away from Cole? You know I can’t do that. He’s…” How do I word this? “He’s trying to save the world. You don’t just walk away from that so that you canshine.”
He shakes his head again. “I never said you should stop spending time with Cole or even stop being friends with him, even if he is a bit of an arrogant prick. I understand your loyalty to him. He’s… he’s one of the good guys. I get it even if, by those standards, you should stay far away from me. I just think that you should learn to stand a little taller, even when you’re around him. He’s not some kind of god that everyone needs to follow blindly. He’s the same as us, and you’re just as special as he is, even if you don’t see it.”
I don’t respond for a few moments, and we just stare out at the city. Then a voice Ireallydon’t want to hear right now comes from behind me. “Lee. I thought you’d left the city…”
Both Rhion and I turn to see my mother in an elegant, flowing dress made of metallic threads that she’s made shine in the night. The bits of cobblestone and buildings that had been glowing silver fade in the face of the light she exudes.
