Page 17 of Steeling Light
But Rhion. There was no saving Rhion from his father and the punishment I was sure he’d endure. There was no saving our friendship. I knew, even as a child, that nothing would ever be the same between us. I shed more tears for Rhion than I have for anyone else since.
“You’re the enemy,” I whisper, shattering the silence like a stone through glass.
“I am. But I’m also your friend.” He says it immediately. It’s a reaction, and I know it’s the truth.
The war within me comes to the surface, and I whirl on him. The anger and rage at what I know has to happen combine with the pain of losing the happiness he’d promised. It becomes fury directed at him because he could fix it all so easily.
“You don’t have to be. Cole has done so many things that his father forbade him. He’s broken his father’s laws. He’s saved people that both of your fathers tried to kill or enslave. He let Brenna go when his father specifically told him to kill her. He’s trying to save the world from what your fathers have done. All you have to do is walk away from your father. Why can’t you do that? Why can’t you be strong enough to join us?”
It's Rhion’s turn to look at the pond. My breath comes out in soft pants as I try to maintain control. All I want to do is hit him, to slap him across the face, to punch him and kick him. If he fought back against his father, everything would be right.
“Rhion,” I say through gritted teeth, “if you stay on your father’s side of this war, Cole will kill you.”
“I wish he would.”
His words linger, reverberating in my mind.I wish he would.“Why?”
Rhion shakes his head slowly and looks down at the water right in front of him. Rhion Rahn, the fourth greatest warrior in the world, a man at least three times as big as me, looks like he’s breaking. “I can’t fight against my father, Ainslee. I tried. On the day of the Shattering, I knew it was wrong. I knew what we were doing was terrible, but I couldn’t stop myself. Like calls to like, and my father’s blood runs thick in my veins. I can’t stop myself when he commands me. I… I can’t keep myself from following his orders. I massacred the House of Earth and cried with every swing of my sword.”
The words are a hammer breaking all my reservations. What do you say to that? “You can’t stop yourself?”
He shakes his head slowly. “No. I can’t do anything. I’ve thought about leaving and just running away to somewhere where he can’t force me to do terrible things. But deep down, I keep hoping I’ll figure out how to stop him, how to become strong enough to stand against him. If that happened… I could stop him by myself. I just haven’t found a way yet.”
I put my hand on his back, my fingers running over the soft wool of his tunic. “I didn’t know. I don’t think anyone did.”
“Why would they? I’ve never heard of anyone having such complete control over their child. Then again, no one else is my father, and regardless of what anyone says, Gethin Rahn is the strongest Immortal in the world. It makes sense, however much I hate it, that he can command me more than others can.”
How could you live like that? How could anyone do the terrible things that Rhion’s been made to do and hate every moment? How could…
Part of my heart hardens, though. The part that owes its loyalty to Cole and Maeve knows that this only makes him more dangerous. We can’t change his decisions. We can’t convince him of anything because the moment his father tells him to do something, even if it’s the worst thing possible, he’s going to do it.
I pull my hand away, trying to remember that I’m part of something bigger. My heart aches for Rhion, but if he can’t control what he does, he could ruin everything for us. He could be the reason all the Houses fall, that magic and everyone and everything that needs it to survive will die.
“That only proves my point, doesn’t it? Even if you want to be my friend, when your father forces your hand, our friendship will only cause more pain.”
He looks up at me, hope in his gray eyes. “No, Ainslee. I can’t stop the pain any more than Cole could stop his punishments, but I’ve learned to find happiness where I can. Do you really think that the two of us spending a month going on walks and laughing together is going to be the reason the world ends?”
The reality is that I have no idea what our friendship will affect. “Maybe?”
Rhion looks at his wrist and smiles before looking back at the rose-shaped pond. “And maybe not. We’re all in this fight, and none of us chose to be here. I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer to die in a war I want no part of having smiled a few more times rather than a few less.”
I turn to look at the pond like Rhion is and see the little fish swimming under the lily pads, their fluorescence making the pool look so much more beautiful. If they weren’t there, this pool would be so much less. They’re not doing anything other than being what they were born to be, what their little hearts tell them to do.
I say, “It feels like it’s been a long time since I let myself be happy. Ever since Maeve received the Painted Crown, it’s felt like we were one step away from catastrophe.”
“I don’t think that’s going to change, and eventually the catastrophe will probably happen. That’s the way this terrible world works, Ainslee. We aren’t gods or even Kings. We don’t get to change the future. The best we can hope for is to find the moments that let us laugh between the tears. That’s what I’m proposing. Give me a month to live between the tears beside you, as your friend. Nothing more and nothing less.”
He nods at his wrist. “And if I have any control over it, I will keep you safe. I’ll keep your secrets. I won’t let this month ruin what you and your friends are planning. I just… I need a reason to smile before the world comes crashing down because you’re right. If the House of Steel goes to war with Cole and his Wyrdling, they’ll probably kill me.”
“Her name is Maeve,” I say instinctively. But then I smile and turn to him, taking his massive hands in mine. “Fine. Rhion, I would like to be your friend for a month while I wait to talk to Maerlix. After that, you’ll go back to your father, and I’ll go back to Cole and Maeve. I’d much rather that you left your father’s control, but if that’s not possible, I will accept a few more moments of happiness before the world falls down.”
Rhion’s smile is everything I’d hoped for, and he squeezes my hands. “Thank you. Now, enough of that kind of talk. Show me the rest of the grand Hanging Gardens of the City of Moonlight. Nothing serious. Nothing sad. We will spend the next month full of laughter and happiness, and we’ll ignore the future even if it’s just for a little while.”
I smile back at him before pulling him away from the pond, away from the place where we’d dug so deep into our emotions. I feel lighter, and when Rhion points things out, I’m completely invested in the conversation. Deep down, I know this is a temporary thing that may very well turn out badly, but I’ve made my decision.
I’m going to spend a month smiling with Rhion between the tears.
Interlude 2
