Page 25 of Steeling Light
She’s wearing what I can only assume is her most informal day dress. There’s not a bit of sparkle to the simple teal silk dress, and she’s not blindingly bright. It’s like she’s trying to be a normal person instead of the Countess of Light. She’s obviously still important, but I applaud the attempt. She’s not made for hiding in plain sight like I am.
I go to her table and sit down across from her. Her smile only brightens, as if she hadn’t been sure it was me, and now she’s proven to herself that she’d know her daughter anywhere.
“I knew it was you,” she whispers.
“What gave it away? My eyes?” I still refused to shift them.
My mother frowns. “What? No, you’re wearing linen, dear. No one wears linen in Spice. And those pants seem more than a little worn out. Do you need any money? We could go shopping after lunch. I’m sure we could get you the perfect dress for whatever adventures you and your…frienddecide to go on.”
This is my mother. She’s the only woman who would know her daughter because of her lack of fashion and sophistication. “I guess we could go shopping, but I’m traveling light these days, Mother. And no dresses. They just don’t work very well with wings.”
She blinks for a second and laughs softly. “Well, cast me in silver. I’d never have thought of that. Is that why you always wear pants?”
“That's one reason. I also don’t have a lady-in-waiting to tighten the corset strings, and who knows when I’m going to have to fight.”
She huffs. “I hate that you and Darian are ever in a place where you have to worry about fighting. I’ve looked into what’s happening in Draenyth more, and Lee, it’s dangerous. King Gethin wants to kill Cole. He’s heartless, and I doubt that his soldiers would have any hesitation in killing you and your brother to get to him.” She pauses for a moment before saying, “And Prince Rhion is right here? You aren’t worried that he’s going to have soldiers coming to capture you and torture you for information? That sounds like something that King Gethin would do.”
These are things that a mother should worry over, and I’m happy that she’s thought about them. “Rhion isn’t a danger. I promise. When I first realized he was here, I thought he might be too, but now I’m sure he’s completely safe. I know Gethin is heartless, but if we don’t do something, then no one will. He caused the Shattering, Mother. The world is dying because of it, and there are very few people in the world who can right Nyth’s course after he so violently changed it. We have to fix what he broke, even if that means putting ourselves at risk.”
She closes her eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. When she opens them, she whispers, “But why doyouhave to do it? You’re not like Cole. You don’t have the powers he does. You’re from the House of Light just like me, and even if I wanted to help, what could I do?”
I clench my jaw at her insinuation. “I’m not only from the House of Light. Darian and I were integral in capturing Casimir Cyrus while he was in the Keep of Steel’s dungeon. Cole couldn’t be successful without us at his side, and Mother, there’s no one else. If there were, I’m sure Cole would tell us to stay safe like he always has in the past. He knows we’re more limited than he is, but we can still help. And he needs all the help he can get.”
Her jaw drops at the mention of stealing Casimir from the Keep of Steel. “Lee, Casimir’s dangerous, too.”
I nod to her. “We have him secured, but we couldn’t let Gethin continue to torment him. If he has information, we need to be the ones to get it, not our enemy.”
There’s a look in her eyes as she looks away from me, like she can’t quite believe that me and Darian have done things like this. It makes sense. What has she done with her long life? Given birth to me and Darian, tutored the Prince of Flames, and become the Countess of Gossip and Ballroom Dancing?
“You and your brother are so much like your father…” She says it without thinking. I know she doesn’t mean it the way she said it, but instinctive reactions aren’t based on logic.
And my reaction is utter disgust at the comparison. “I amnothinglike my father.”
She sees the anger and pain in my eyes and backtracks. “That’s not what I meant. Lee, I know he was terrible to you and Darian. Remember that I left my home and took you to Draenyth to keep you safe from him. But he is a great man who has done great things regardless of who he is as a person and a father.”
I snarl, my anger only rising based on her response. “You will not compare me to that man. The only reason he’s still alive is because killing him would draw Gethin’s eye, and for the past nine hundred years, that would hurt the people I care about. Gethin won’t live forever, though, and when the King of Steel dies, I will personally hold the blade that ends Kieran Halrix’s life.”
Shock coats my mother’s face, and she’s speechless as she stares at me. I just give her a wicked smile.
“You can’t mean that. He’s important and outranks you in every way. He’s strong, so very strong. How would you even try to do something like that?”
I don’t tell her how many times I’ve dreamed of murdering my father. She doesn’t need to know how badly his face and words have haunted my dreams for my entire life. “As I said, my friends and I broke Casimir out of the most protected prison deep in the roots of Skycrest. I don’t think there are very many things we couldn’t do if we put our minds to it.”
“Darian would help you kill your father?” That seems to shock her even more.
To be completely honest, I don’t know. I’ve never talked to him about it. I’d always assumed, but there are no guarantees in assumptions. “Cole would. Maeve would. When the Prince of Flames and the Queen of Earth want to accomplish something, including killing a man, there are very few who can stop them.”
My mother reaches out and takes my hand. They’re so soft. I’d been annoyed at the calluses I’d shifted onto my hands, but feeling hers makes me realize that I have my own calluses. I may not be a laborer or battle-hardened warrior, but my feet have seen many miles, and my hands have held a sword more times than I can count. My mother, on the other hand, probably hasn’t done a hard day’s work in her entire life. She’s never sweated until she thought she’d pass out. We are as different as I am from the trader’s daughter whose face and hands I’m wearing.
“You keep putting yourself in danger, Lee. What use is there in trying to kill a general in the House of Steel? He wants nothing to do with you. Even if he saw you now, do you think he’d know you? Even if you were wearing your face, do you think he’d see you and know it was his daughter? Why risk your life when his breathing doesn’t matter?”
To anyone else, this would seem logical. I know that. He’s no danger to me, and like she said, he probably doesn’t even know what I look like. But his very existence in this world is a weight on my heart and soul. He haunts my dreams. Where Cole feared his father, no amount of torture from Casimir could contend with the fear I’d felt as a six-year-old girl.
“He is what’s wrong with this world, Mother. He, and all the people like him. The people who will hurt children, who abandon the children they sired because they aren’t exactly what they wanted. I know his crimes, and he will be punished for them.”
I say the last bit with smugness because there is no doubt in my mind that when the time comes, I will be successful. I will show him I’m not worthless, that I’m not just a whore.
My mother shakes her head slowly. “Where’d my little girl go, Lee? You were so soft and kind when you were a child. You and your brother played in the gardens of the House of Flames. Exploring and experiencing the world was all you wanted. Do you remember the week you hunted for secret passageways? You never wanted to watch or join Cole when he was training because you hated the thought of people getting hurt. Now… now you’re in the middle of a war and are talking about killing your father.”
