Page 90 of Things We Need to Say
He sat down next to her and tried to take hold of her hand, but she moved it away before he could touch her. He leaned back, frowning.
‘I know the last few months have been really difficult and that’s down to me.’ When she didn’t reply, he carried on. ‘I’ve been completely caught up in the competition and have neglected you. And you haven’t deserved it. In fact, you deserve so much better. I’m so sorry I pushed you away and I understand why you’re angry with me.’
‘I’m not angry with you,’ she said softly.
‘Well, I would be. But I’ve realised that, even though I won, the competition wasn’t worth it. Not at the risk of losing you.’
Her heart started to beat faster. Was he telling her the truth? Could they actually make it work now the competition was over? But he’d said similar things in the past and nothing had changed. And he still hadn’t mentioned Chloe.
‘I think it’s too late for that.’
‘Don’t say that.’ He reached out for her and managed to hold her hand before she had a chance to pull away from him.
‘We love each other. I know I’ve been a useless boyfriend recently, but I promise you, that’s all going to change. Starting now.’
Emma shook her head. ‘But that’s the problem, Jay. I don’t think you do love me, not the way I love you. And I can’t bear to be second best.’
‘But you’re not second best.’
‘At the banquet, I saw the way you looked at Chloe. You used to look at me like that, but not anymore.’
‘No, Emma, you’ve got it wrong. That was just the competition. I got caught up in the moment.’
‘It wasn’t just one moment, though. I saw you in the kitchen together earlier in the day.’
‘Oh.’
‘I saw the way you looked at her. And it made me realise that it’s over between us.’
‘No, Em, it can’t be over between us. Me and Chloe, that was nothing. Honestly, nothing happened.’
‘Even if that’s true, I saw the connection between you. And if you and she are working together—’
‘We won’t be. She’s accepted a job at Angela Markham’s restaurant.’
‘She has?’
‘Yes.’
‘But that doesn’t change the way you’ve made me feel.’ She’d spent all her life feeling like she was on the outside. She couldn’t bear to feel like that with the man she loved. Not anymore. ‘I’m going to move out, Jay. I can’t be around you while I’m feeling like this.’
He stared at her, open-mouthed. ‘You’re moving out? Without even giving us a chance?’
‘I’ve given us every chance there is. I’m sorry, Jay. I love you, I really do, but I have to put myself first.’
‘But Em, I’ve told you things are going to change.’
‘I’m sorry Jay, but you’ve said that before, and it hasn’t.’
‘This time it’s different.’
‘And I don’t believe you.’ She watched as a look of anguish crossed his face.
‘Is there nothing I can say to change your mind?’
She shook her head sadly. ‘If there was, believe me I’d give it a go.’ He slumped back on the sofa.
‘Where are you moving to?’
