Page 37 of Things We Need to Say
‘Goodnight.’ He turned to go and then swung back round, standing far too close to her. ‘Emma, I—’
He was interrupted by a van pulling up at the pavement next to them. Emma looked at it in shock and again moved away as she realised it was Jay.
Jay got out of the van and headed towards them. ‘Emma, what are you doing?’
‘Oh, I... um, I just went out for a drink after work. Nick wanted to make sure I got home safely.’
Jay looked at Nick. His whole body looked rigid. ‘That’s very kind of you.’ He put his arm protectively around her and she bristled at his action.
‘Well, now that you’re back, I’ll leave you to it,’ Nick said, all smiles. ‘Nice to meet you, Jay. Glad to hear you’re through to the next stage in the competition.’
‘Thanks,’ Jay said. ‘I’m really pleased.’ Emma thought he sounded anything but.
Jay turned to her when they were safely inside their apartment. ‘So what was that all about?’
‘Like I said, I went for a drink after work with some colleagues and Nick wanted to make sure I got home okay.’
‘It looked to me as though I turned up just at the right time.’
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘I mean, it’s not very nice to come home from work to find my girlfriend alone with another man, looking like she’s about to be kissed by him.’
‘Now you’re being ridiculous!’ She was angry at the implication that she’d wanted to be kissed by Nick, even if she suspected that was exactly what Nick had wanted to do. ‘He was walking me home. He was saying goodbye when you pulled up.’
‘I bet he was.’
‘Oh, that’s enough, Jay.’
‘Well, that’s what it looked like.’
‘So? Even if he did want to kiss me, do you think I would have let him?’
‘No, of course not.’
‘Don’t you trust me, Jay?’
‘It’s notyouI don’t trust. It’s him.’
‘And I don’t have any say in the matter? For your information, the only man I want to be with is you. It’s just a pity you don’t believe me.’
She kicked off her shoes and headed towards the bedroom, furious with him. She hadn’t questioned who he’d been with the other night, even though he’d known she’d been waiting for him, so what right did he have to question her now?
‘Emma, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean . . .’
‘I know exactly what you meant, Jay. I think I’ll sleep in the spare room tonight.’
* * *
Emma woke suddenly and felt the darkness engulf her. She checked the time on her phone. Three o’clock. Her head was throbbing as though it had its own heartbeat and her mouth was parched. She reached out for Jay and, finding only emptiness beside her, remembered flouncing off to sleep in the spare bedroom.
Lying as still as she could, she recalled the evening. It had started out so well, the comfortable feeling of togetherness in the pub that she hadn’t experienced since she’d left uni. But she’d drunk too much and Nick had offered to walk her home. She remembered the shiver of unease as Nick had stood too close to her on the pavement outside, and then Jay had turned up. She could see how it had looked, but what had made her really angry was that Jay thought if some other man wanted to kiss her she’d let him. She loved Jay and wasn’t the type to be unfaithful, not like Susie. If she really felt as though their relationship had no future, she’d end it before starting to see someone else. The thought of Susie reminded her of the woman’s hand on Jay’s arm on the day of the christening. And even though she had felt very insecure about Susie’s presence, she hadn’t gone off on Jay, the way he had with her last night. She groaned as she remembered how she’d stormed off. She felt she had every right to be angry, but maybe she had overreacted, just a little. Emotions had been running high on both sides, and they needed to sit down and talk calmly. But not when she had a hangover. She was working a late shift later today, so there was no need for her to get up early. She’d stay in bed and avoid any kind of confrontation until she was feeling much more like herself.
* * *
Jay too was lying awake, wondering what was going on with Emma. When he’d first seen the two people standing on thepavement as he’d pulled up in his van, they’d looked as though they were about to go in for a kiss. But when the woman stepped back, the light of the street lamp caught her face and he’d realised with shock that it was Emma. He’d jumped out of the van to find out what was going on, but stopped himself from rushing at them. Going in all guns blazing would do more harm than good. So he’d pretended to be polite, even though inside he was raging. Of course they’d made out it was all above board, but Jay knew what he’d seen. And Nick was too smooth and too good-looking. He came across as a person who was used to getting what he wanted. Just like Susie. He wondered what Emma would have thought if she’d seen Susie with him in the kitchen on the day of the christening. But that was different. Susie only put her hand on his arm — she hadn’t attempted to kiss him.
Jay trusted Emma, of course he did, but the way she’d flown off the handle later was definitely out of character. He wondered if there was something else that was bothering her. She hadn’t been pleased when he’d missed their meal after the competition, but he’d been high on adrenaline and, when someone had suggested going for a drink, he’d jumped at the chance to wind down with people with whom he had a shared experience. But now that he thought about it, perhaps that wasn’t very fair on Emma. She’d been a rock in the weeks leading up to the first heats of the competition and he felt a stab of guilt at the thought that he’d been neglecting her. Perhaps that was why he had overreacted when he’d seen the two of them together. Because deep down he wondered if she deserved something better, someone better. Someone who wasn’t obsessed with his career to the point of neglecting his girlfriend?
