Page 7 of Cruel Pawn
“They should be,” I agreed, bending to place a kiss on her glossy black hair before I pulled out a chair for myself. “But money works miracles.”
She shot me an affronted look, which only made me smile. “Put those gloves on,” she ordered, delighting me with another glimpse of something real behind the walls she had built so tall. I immediately complied. She could tell me to strip off my clothes and do a handstand, and I’d find a way to do it. Not that I had the balance or skills required. And I really shouldn’t have been thinking about getting naked. “If we’re going to handle this, which we really shouldn’t—”
“We are and we should—”
“The least we can do is protect it from oils when we touch it.”
I groaned. “Carmen, don’t use the word touch.”
She pulled the gloves on, even that movement managing to be sexy. “We’re in a library; you can’t possibly be turned on right now.”
“Everything about you turns me on,” I disagreed, then bit my lip, killing any other confessions. “Look, all the original illustrations are here too,” I said, swiftly changing the subject lest she think I was a sex-obsessed dick who’d only brought her here so I could sleep with her. Like sure, I was obsessed with the idea of feeling her orgasm around my dick, but I planned to spend the rest of my life devoted to her, so surely that lessened the fuckboyery?
Carmen pressed a smile between her lips and indulged me by looking at the illustrations. Again, her expression softened to something genuine and tender as she very carefully handled the manuscript, her lips parted as she traced her fingers in the air above the words.
“What’s your favourite quote?” I blurted, needing to know more, needing her voice in my ears, her attention on me. Great, now I was jealous of a book as well as the fabric skimming her body.
“There’s a line,” she replied, her voice a caress on my soul, making my chest ache as she delicately lifted pages until she found what she was looking for. “'If you knew time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you wouldn't talk about wasting it.'”
She kept her eyes on the page, lingering long enough that I skimmed the backs of my fingers over her shoulder and down her arm. “You don’t like wasting time?”
She shook her head, a sigh moving her shoulders. “My grandfather gave me a copy of this book the day after my parents died. I read it every day, cover to cover.”
The sadness in her eyes, the ache in her voice, pulled my own pain to the surface and I ran my fingers lower until I reached her hand, linking our fingers. Even the soft cotton keeping me from touching her skin to skin couldn’t irritate me when she lifted her face, her eyes meeting mine for an eternity. I fell into those big, amber eyes, and decided never to climb out.
“Oh, Carmen,” I murmured, stroking my thumb across the back of her hand. “I hate that you’ve had to endure that pain. I know it cuts deeper than anything else in the world. I know how long grief can make you bleed.”
I thought of my father, and the way my whole life ground to a halt when I found out he was stolen from me. But that was a slippery slope, and I had to cut off the thought with a rough jerk before my mind fixated on who exactly stole him.
Something had happened in my split-second distraction; Carmen’s face had changed, her shields back up. Oh god, what had she seen on my face? The vulnerability I’d glimpsed was gone, the glow in her amber eyes replaced by something soft and sweet but synthetic. She was hiding from me again. I sighed, my shoulders slumping.
We both jumped when her phone rang, a soft melodic ringtone. With a fracture in my own shields, jealousy struck, blended with insecurity, and I fixed my attention on her hand as she reached into the small, crimson velvet bag I hadn’t even noticed draped over her shoulder. I’d been a little preoccupied with the fabric clinging to her hips to notice the thin chain strap. But I was noticing it now as a phone emerged from its silky lining and her breath hitched as she saw the caller.
An ex-boyfriend? A husband who refused to accept they were separated? A best friend who wanted to blur the lines and steal my girl from me? Jealousy spilled through my chest like lava, and venom roiled in my gut. I was ready to kill whoever was on the other end of the phone, no questions asked. Carmen wasmine,and I was keeping her.
“Oh,” she breathed, all the life draining from her eyes right before me. Her mouth stiffened into a taut line, her jaw clenched until her whole face locked. “I’ll be there now. Just—tell me he’s going to be okay.” There was a pause as she listened to whatever bastard thought they could take her away from me, and she nodded, her throat moving up and down as she swallowed. It took me a moment to register her distress, to realise her whole body had tightened, and her other hand had curled into a fist.
Shit. I unfurled that hand finger by finger, removed the soft glove, and fit my own fingers into the empty spaces between hers. She squeezed my hand like a lifeline, her breaths coming in jagged, broken puffs.
“Alright,” she breathed. “I’m coming now.”
Not a fucking chance was she leaving my sight. I tightened my hand around hers, but when she ended the call, she ripped it free with surprising strength. I stared at my empty hand for a moment too long, allowing her to jump out of the seat.
“I’m so sorry, Arden, I have to go. That was the vet. There were complications with Mango’s surgery and—I have to go. I’ll text you, okay?”
All my jealous rage fled, leaving a cold knot in my belly. The thought of me standing in her shoes, getting a terrifying call that there’d been complications with my baby’s surgery… Carmen had already fled the room, but I was out of the chair in an instant, and in serious pursuit.
She couldn’t have gotten far.
And of course I was going with her.
5
Priya
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Carmen.I owed a lot to that name. I’d lost myself for a minute, let everything spin out of control. From the moment I saw the manuscript, I became Priya, the girl who loved that book more than anything in the world, who’d clung to it as my whole world collapsed. It was so damn stupid to keep it in my bag, but it was the one single thing I allowed myself to keep across all my personas. My totem of comfort.
