Page 43 of Fighting For You
Kenny beamed. There was that famous Barbie smile.
“He sends out the SOS and now he’s mad about it. But I’m here to tell you, your instincts were good. You’re never wrong to ask for help, and isn’t that kind of the motto we’ve all agreed to? Not to go it alone?” His grin had dwindled and the sincerity in his voice couldn’t be missed.
“We did. You’re right.” And that’s why I’d texted them. Everyone else was already busy with their duties prepping for the film fest and all the madness to come with that. Plus it wasn’t really fair to send out an SOS to everyone when I’d tucked myself an hour outside of town.
Cookie nodded, as on board with the agreement as any of us.
“So…” Kenny prodded.
I shook my head because he was never one tonotpush and I was never one tonotreact in kind.
“Long story short?” I asked, hoping they’d allow it.
Cookie dropped his chin to agree and Kenny shrugged like it was a letdown, but he wasn’t going to fight me just yet.
“You know Jess was here the last few days. She was out of it until last night. We had a good time watching TV and just hanging out. It was… amicable.”
I stopped. They did nothing to interrupt me.Jerks.
“Then she asked me what happened years back.” They’d learned the skeleton version only recently. “I admitted part of all that was how I used to be in love with her.”
A thrill chased by dread rolled from my head down to pool in my feet. I was glued to the spot, breathless and waiting for some cosmic crack of thunder in the sky now that I’d said it aloud twice.
Somehow, I’d put the panic out of my mind, but there was no hiding from it now. Every emotion I’d locked down over the years had burrowed through my defenses and here they were, bleeding out everywhere. First with Jess, and now with these two.
Kenny rolled his lips between his teeth and Cookie didn’t move. His brutally handsome face—and I thought this as a man who could recognize a gorgeous human being when he saw one—just… looked at me.
But the little pressure cooker inside of Kenny exploded. “Holy crap. Yes.Yes.You’re in love with Jess? And you told her? Are we having a wedding?” He started hopping up and down like a complete idiot.
“No.”
Cookie dropped his face into his hands. “You have a death wish.”
In seconds, Kenny was shaking me by the shoulders. “You love someone! This is fantastic!”
I didn’t speak. He needed a moment to get it out of his system and I wasn’t going to waste my breath convincing him while he was prancing around my kitchen like he’d just won the lottery. He had no idea the utter chaos pinging around in my chest—relief from sharing it, but instant awareness of the folly of the admission, too.
In another minute or so, his fervor died down and he leaned on the counter with his elbows and sobered up a bit.
“Okay, I’ll shut up. But I think the question is valid.”
Cookie scoffed, sounding every bit the half-Frenchman he was and then some. “TheAre we having a weddingquestion?”
Kenny rolled his eyes. “No. TheDo you still love her?question. Which I think is at the heart of all of this.”
I took a slug of my beer, then realized I’d never even offered them a drink when they’d arrived. They’d hugged me, then Kenny bee-lined for Bones, and Cookie had taken in the show.
“Beer?”
They both assented, so I gave myself the minute to pull two bottles from the fridge and uncap them. They took their drinks and swallowed down some of the local brew, generously giving me another few seconds.
But now, time was up.
“I’m not sure it matters how I feel. She looked…” Her beautiful face flashed into my mind, then the way she’d bent over like she might be ill from the news. “I don’t think it matters.”
“Hard disagree.” Kenny’s vehemence filledhis words.
I sat back in the seat at the counter and studied the bottle in front of me, scratching at the edge of the label. “I was in love with her for years. Then everything went to hell, and she started hating me. I lived with that unrequited nonsense for so long, in some ways it was a relief. So I let myself hate her back. Embraced it. And promised myself I’d never beg her to forgive me or admit how I felt.”
