Page 78 of Almost True
I waited, but she didn’t say anything else. “So, what?”
“So why are you not with him?”
Despite the feeling that she’d just hit a giant gong above my head, I glanced around like the fake audience to our conversation would agree she was nuts. “Um, because I live more than two thousand miles from him? Because he didn’t seem interested in that. He didn’t…”
Saying that aloud would hurt too much, so I swallowed it down.
But never one to let me off the hook, she prompted, “He didn’twhat?”
My chin wobbled, but I firmed it and took a long sip of water. “He didn’t ask me to stay.”
“Oh, honey,” she said, worry and care for me broadcasting clearly. “Of course he didn’t.”
“What does that mean?”
She gave me a soft smile in that way she had that showed me she cared about me, but was probably going to say something I didn’t like. “How could he? You were always going to leave Silverton, right?”
I nodded, gritting my teeth against the welling emotions threatening to overwhelm me.
“I’m guessing he didn’t think asking would do anything. You hadn’t mentioned anything long term. You got togetherknowingyou’d be parting when you left. Not a wait and see.”
“But what if he didn’t want that? What if this was just a fling, or… I mean it wasn’t a fling, obviously, but what if he needed it to be short term? That he wouldn’t want to commit to someone long term and long distance anyway?”
She shrugged. “Well, you’d only know that if you talked about it. But I think if he told you he loved you and really did all the things you said he did, I suspect that if he thought he had a chance at more with you, that you’d entertain staying in Silverton, he would’ve asked you to stay.”
That hit me like a shot, and I sat back in my chair. Someone hollered her name, and she apologized profusely for having to go and made me promise to text her later. I agreed to the terms before she disappeared, but as soon as the screen went dark, doubt crowded in.
Or should I saymoredoubt. Because I’d had doubts every second of every minute I’d been away from Aidan. And honestly, not just Aidan, but also Luca. Dahlia and Sarah and the girls. Silverton. Sadie Miller’s cinnamon twist bread, if I’m being honest.
I didn’t feel right here. It felt like I was wearing someone else’s suit. Someone else’s life. And it had been someone else’s—the woman who’d left here before Christmas. TheWorking Womanwho knew nothing of what would come. Who’d tried to work in LA, then moved every few weeks, once Taggart’s letters found her, forcing her to flee or be found. A woman who hadn’t seen thenothingnessof her life flash before her eyes. A woman who hadn’t fallen in love with an amazing man.
Or, more accurately, thebestman.
And in the small town I’d hardly stepped foot in during my first visit, I’d begun to feel at home. Dahlia, Sarah, Quinn, Calla, and Sadie had folded me in so generously. John had become a friend, too. And Luca…
My heart seized at the thought of Luca. He’d hugged me tight, then backed away, his eyes glassy, when John told him it was time to go. He hadn’t seemed hurt or angry, just resigned. So like his father, and maybe that was what left me feeling restless and angry myself.
Luca’s e-mails had been a welcome point of contact, and yet painful. A reminder of another person I’d hurt, a person I was letting down, and a person I missed more than I imagined I could.
Why hadn’t Aidan just asked me to stay? I’d asked myself that a thousand times in the last few weeks. Despite not wanting to believe it, Juliet’s statements came back immediately.“How could he? You were always going to leave Silverton, right?”
I’d certainly arrived there with the plan. And I’d convinced myself, even after I’d realized I loved Aidan and was rapidly falling for his son, that I could still leave them. That I could walk away and feel thankful for the time I’d had with them, but return to this life. Wake from the dream of mountain peaks and sage breezes and the best people to real life.
This life that felt so dreadfully empty and cold.
But who was I without this? The implications of my leaving would be huge, especially after a long break. My actions influenced an entire workforce, not just myself. I couldn’t do things on whims.
Is it really a whim if you’ve been thinking about it for years?
My heart clutched at the thought. At the truth of it.
I’d been wondering about a different life since my first visit to Silverton. It was part of why I’d hidden my name from Aidan. It was part of why the fantasy of flirting with a handsome local had been so delicious. Thatwhat if?
And if I was being honest with myself—if I’d finally cut the crap and decided to get back to one thing I did know about myself and shoot straight, I’d have to admit it.
I’d bought a house there. I’d sought out friends. I’d formed a relationship with the first man I’d ever imagined a real future with.
And I hadn’t done that by accident.
