Page 8 of Guarded
I couldn’t though…not if I wanted my freedom.
Weeks later though, I’d come to a horrifying realisation.
No amount of freedom was worth the ache in my chest. The relentless pull back to London. Endlessly replaying Noah’s devastated expression while sleep evaded me.
There was no point being free when the colours of the Amazon had dulled. When the noise of Niagara was merely an irritating hum. When I could find no pleasure in food or drink.
As for being with other people? Forget it. Just the thought of approaching someone had me running for the nearest toilet to empty my stomach. There was no way.
So yeah.I’d made countless stupid decisions in my immortal life.
But running from my mate?
That was the stupidest of all.
Like all demons, I knew a fated mate was a gift. The other half of your soul. The one designed to complement you in all areas. Yet I’d been a fool. Thousands of years old, and I’d run like a child, too afraid of what it would mean for me.
Yeah, demons were selfish creatures, but I took the fucking biscuit.
It had taken me ninety-three days, seven hours, and six minutes to come to this realisation.
Here I was, just twenty-four hours later, standing on the doorstep to the Seraphim compound. I would’ve been here a couple of hours earlier, but I’d suspected showing up looking like I’d flown for twenty-two hours straight wouldn’t win me any brownie points with my mate.
Instead, I’d let myself into the house I shared with Dahlia, Darius, and Quill. Only the latter had been there, appearing to get a bowl of cereal before vanishing back into his room.
It was another reminder of how I’d failed. By letting my selfish desires lead me, I’d let down not just my mate, but Quill too. He’d been struggling ever since we left Hell, refusing to leave the house and becoming weaker as a result.
Well, I was back now. I was going to be a better friend to Quill.
Right after I’d eaten crow for Noah.
I’d showered, shaved, and put on my favourite cologne. I’d chosen an outfit that had a 100 percent success rate in making people want to take it off me.
Not that I thought that would happen with Noah. I’d be lucky if he didn’t slam the door in my face. My goal today was to introduce myself and apologise for my behaviour.
That was assuming I got that far. He might smite me before I was halfway down the driveway.
I wouldn’t blame him.
All my preparations were an attempt to tip the scales in my favour. It was for that reason that I also held a bunch of flowers bigger than my head in one hand. The florist had talked me through the various meanings. Usually, I wouldn’t pay attention to that sort of thing. Hell, usually I wouldn’t bother with flowers.
But I’d fucked up enough already where Noah was concerned. I wasn’t taking any chances.
I took a deep breath, reminding myself of the mantra that had got me through the past day. You’re here to apologise and strike up a friendship. If it leads to more, great. Do not fuck this up again.
Finally, I summoned the courage to ring the doorbell. It was pointless, really. They knew I was here. They’d known since I crossed the wards at the boundary.
Not one of them had come to the door though, not even Nox. Which meant one of two things: either no one was home, or how I’d behaved towards Noah had seriously pissed everyone off.
Given I could sense several angels in the house beyond, it had to be the latter. It was a good thing I knew how to grovel, because I suspected I’d be doing a lot of it.
The door opened slowly and I braced myself. It still wasn’t enough to prepare me for seeing Noah up close for the first time. I exhaled sharply, his beauty robbing me of my sensibilities. His hair was pulled back in a half ponytail, making the sharp lines of his jaw and cheekbones even more cutting. Long lashes framed thosedevastating goldeneyes, and he blinked slowly as he swept his gaze over me.
I stood frozen, unable to stop myself memorising every detail. The leggings clinging to his leanly muscled thighs. The flowing azure blue shirt, the loose fabric hiding the contours of his torso from me.
He was exactly as I remembered. Except for one crucial detail.
No longer was he looking at me with confusion or wonder. There was no longing on his face, no desire.
