Page 81 of Guarded
It might’ve been okay if I could have spoken to Jem, but Lyle seemed to have a sixth sense about when I was about to slip out. That was when the fights would turn physical, fists being used instead of powers.
It wasn’t hard to contain him. Even if his body hadn’t been struggling against whatever it was going through, I would’ve been able to pin him. But having to do so repeatedly?
It was exhausting. Worse, it was keeping me from speaking to Jem.
I missed him more than I’d thought possible. The pull from previous months had been nothing compared to now.It had me wanting to tear at my chest, as though doing so might free me from the torment.
It wouldn’t. Nothing would, other than seeing him.
After a morning of fighting, Lyle was finally asleep and snoring. There was a quiet knock on the door. I didn’t bother to move from my position, slumped against the wall. It was likely to be one of Juniper. While none of them were strong enough to contain Lyle, they’d been coming in here to watch him to give me a few hours to rest. I didn’t leave the room, but it meant I had company that wasn’t spitting vitriol.
It had occurred to me on the second day that I could ask them to get my phone from Micah. If one of Juniper was in here, that meant Lyle wouldn’t be able to take it from me while I slept.
But already Lyle had poisoned my mind. He’d taken me back to that dark place I had thought I’d left forever. As stupid as it sounded, I didn’t want any part of Jem in this darkness. This was my pain to shoulder alone. My penance for how foolish I’d been in the past.
Jeremiah was my future. The shining beacon I was going to run for when this was all over.
I just needed to survive it first. I didn’t think I’d be able to if I heard Jem’s voice. If I read his concerned words.
His kindness might break me as thoroughly as Lyle’s cruelty. I needed to keep the two separate. This wasn’t Jem’s problem, it was mine. And I’d fall before letting him suffer through it too.
There was another quiet knock. I frowned, wondering why they hadn’t just come in. I gave a weary grunt, my exhaustion not allowing me anything more strenuous.
But when the door opened, it wasn’t a member of Juniper standing there.
“Jesus, Noah.” Micah froze in shock for a second before hurriedly closing the door behind him. “We need to get you out of here.”
“I’m fine,” I said heavily as he rushed over and knelt before me. “I promise, I’m okay. Just exhausted.”
“I should’ve come sooner.” Guilt swam in Micah’s eyes as he checked me over. “I kept asking Juniper, and each time they said you were fine.”
“Because I am.” I summoned up a ghost of a smile. “I’ve survived Lyle putting me through much worse.”
Micah frowned. “Just because you’ve been through it before doesn’t mean you have to go through it again. For fuck’s sake, Noah, you’re not even a member of Juniper now.”
“I’m not, but they’ll always be my family.”
“And you’re my family now too,” Micah said softly. “I’m not leaving you here like this. There’s no way.”
My brow furrowed. “Is the conference over already?”
“It is. Everyone else has packed up and left. I figured you’d be heading back to our rooms, but when you didn’t, I came looking.” He looked around at the trashed room and snoring angel. Devastation joined the guilt on his face. “I really should’ve come sooner. I’m so sorry, Noah.”
“Stop. That’s enough.” I said it firmly, but smiled to show Micah I wasn’t upset. “I knew what I was signing myself up for, and I’d do it all over again if I had to.”
“But why?” Micah asked. “I don’t understand.”
There hadn’t been time to go into all the ins and outs of the situation that first night, and I was too tired to do so now. I’d told him that Lyle had to be kept alive and that no one else could discover what he was going through, I just hadn’t gone into why. “I’ll explain later, I promise. All I cansay is there are two doctors coming to assess and help Lyle. Once they arrive, I can leave.”
“Does he even need to be held now? The conference is over. There’s only Juniper here.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek as I considered it. I could leave now. Atlas had told me earlier that the vampires were due first thing tomorrow. Juniper could cope with Lyle for twenty-four hours.
Images flashed through my head. The bite of Lyle’s insults. The force of his fists. The random blasts of power that came from nowhere.
No. There was no point subjecting the rest of them to Lyle at his worst. Not when I was already used to taking everything he threw at me.
“I’m going to stay.” I held up a hand to stop Micah arguing with me. “I’ve come this far, it seems daft to leave now. It’s just until tomorrow morning.”
