Page 76 of Guarded
Atlas sat up slowly. “What? We didn’t block you. None of us did. We only didn’t reach out because we wanted to respect your decision to walk away.”
I blinked in confusion. “You must’ve done. I reached out to you all. Several times, in fact. My messages weren’t delivering and my calls wouldn’t connect. When I asked Nateabout it, he said the only explanation was that you’d all blocked me.”
Horror dawned on Atlas’s face as he pulled his phone from his pocket. His thumbs flew over the screen as he checked something. “What the fuck?”
He turned the phone to show me that I was indeed blocked. “It wasn’t me, I swear.”
Heat burned behind my eyes. “None of you blocked me?”
Atlas grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me forward until our foreheads touched. It was a comforting gesture—a callback to our childhood. It was how we expressed affection. How we stopped the other from spiralling. “No, my friend. We did not.”
If they hadn’t blocked me, that meant Lyle had. He’d been so determined to keep us all apart that he’d invaded their privacy to do so.
The lengths Lyle had gone to shouldn’t have surprised me, but they did. He’d taken the choice away from all of us.
I knew why. Lyle had always hated how close we all were. My friendship with Atlas had been a particular sticking point for him. It was so stupid. Everyone knew we saw each other as brothers—nothing more.
At first, I’d seen his jealousy as a sign of passion. Of want and need. But really it was just about control. Lyle had sought to isolate me from those who might encourage me to leave.
I hadn’t realised he’d keep doing it after I’d taken that step. It wasn’t about control now. It was punishment, plain and simple. I’d cut him out of my life, so Lyle had ensured I lost the rest of them at the same time.
I’d hated him before, but never as viscerally as I didnow. How dare he? I mean, how fuckingdarehe cut me off from those I loved?
And why the fuck hadn’t I realised and done something sooner?
“I’m sorry,” I rasped hoarsely. “I should’ve tried harder. Should’ve visited.”
“This isn’t on you.” Atlas sighed. “I should’ve realised you wouldn’t turn your back on us like that with everything we’ve been through. I should’ve fuckingknownLyle was connected somehow. He always did want to keep us apart.”
“Idiot.” I gave him a small smile. “Like I’d ever want to sleep with you.”
“Fuck no.” Atlas shuddered. “Talk about weird. Although, I wonder if it was mostly because I saw through him and begged you to leave.”
“I wish I’d left sooner,” I whispered, my eyes stinging again. “I should’ve listened to you.”
We fell silent and I used the time to try and gather myself. I’d known it would be hard to come back here, but the overwhelming sense of loss was greater than I’d expected.
I wished Jem was here right now. He had a knack for making me feel better.
“This feels wrong to even bring up now,” Atlas admitted eventually, “but things have reached a point where I don’t know what else to do.”
My shoulders tensed. “You want me to help with Lyle.”
“Yes. Not for his sake. Honestly, I couldn’t give less of a fuck about him if I tried. Not after everything he’s done. But I need you to for us. For Juniper.”
I gazed at the stars and hated that it wasn’t the same sky as the one above Jem right now. What would he say if he knew about this?
He’d probably say the same as Micah. That it’s not your problem and certainly not your responsibility.
Jem would want me to put myself first. That much I was sure of.
“What happened to Lyle? Or is this a result of him finally having his arse handed to him?”
“It’s partly that, but I think it’s mostly because he lost control so drastically.” Atlas said. “When he returned that day, he’d…changed. He has periods of lucidity where he appears normal, but they never last long. It’s like he switches into a completely different person. He becomes volatile and aggressive, launching into attacks at the smallest provocation. His spatial awareness and coordination are shot to pieces. As for running the unit? Forget it. He can’t even look after himself when he’s in this state.”
“How long does it tend to last?”
Atlas rubbed at his chin. “Initially, just a few hours every couple of days. But recently it’s flipped. Now, we’re lucky if we get thirty minutes of lucidity.”
