Page 117 of Guarded
That’s not to say there wasn’t any talking. Despite how we felt, we couldn’t spend all our time fucking. There were many quiet hours when we just held each other while we talked. Story after story was exchanged as we laid ourselves bare.
I could confidently say that no one knew me as well as Jem now.
I suspected he’d say the same about me too.
The single fly in the ointment had occurred a few days ago when I’d received a text from Atlas.
Atlas
Toby and Tyler left today. There’s been a vast improvement in Lyle’s symptoms and he’s back to experiencing periods of lucidity. However, they’ve said it won’t last as the damage to his mind is too great. It’s just a matter of time before his brain shuts down permanently.
I’d expected to have a reaction to that information, but I’d felt nothing. It was like hearing about a stranger. I’d simply forwarded it to Micah. If Lyle decided to cause problems for the Seraphim during the periods when he was himself, we needed to be prepared.
Jem had spent the next hour worshipping my body and reminding me of everything he appreciated about me. It wasn’t needed, but it was appreciated. I…liked that he worried about me. It was another reminder that he cared, trulycaredabout my well-being.
Jem was all that mattered to me now. Him, the unit, and to a certain degree, Juniper.
It might not have been the healthiest approach, but it felt like it. It was time for me to start putting boundaries on my time and affection, bestowing them only on those who deserved it.
Like Jem.
Aside from that blip, it had been a perfect fortnight. The old me would’ve been tied in knots over the knowledge that we hadn’t left the compound. Terrified that it meant Jem was ashamed of what we shared.
But I knew that was bollocks. Whenever we were with the rest of the unit, you could guarantee Jem would be touching me in some way. He talked about me so often that Rami had started mocking him by saying“Well, Noah…” whenever Jem opened his mouth.
I’d let him get away with it twice before smiting him the third time. I’d had to take a lap for using lightning inside the house, but it was totally worth it.
Today though, we were having to return to reality. Micah had called a meeting to discuss Lyle, along with several other pressing issues. Meanwhile, Darius had reached out to Jem about Quill.
I’d yet to meet Quill. I’d suggested having him and Jem’s other friends here for dinner one night, but Jem had explained the difficulties he had leaving the house.
According to Darius, the situation had got worse. Quill was now at the stage where he was refusing to leave his bedroom. Darius was staging an intervention today and had asked both Nox and Jem to be there.
We both had plans. Important ones. Plans that wouldn’t even take that long.
But that didn’t make parting any easier.
“I don’t want to go,” Jem said, pouting as he watched me get dressed from the bed. We’d showered together, but he still had a few minutes. I couldn’t decide what I was more jealous of—Jem, for being able to lounge in bed, or the bedding for being wrapped around him.
“I don’t want you to go either.” I straightened my shirt with a sigh. “But at least it’s only a few hours, then you’ll be back here.”
I stilled suddenly as a horrifying thought hit me. Shit. Was I trapping Jeremiah here? The one thing he’d been afraid of getting into a relationship was not having his freedom. He’d all but moved in, and I hadn’t even asked him if he was okay with that.
“If that’s what you want,” I said hastily, turning away and grabbing a hairbrush. I busied myself with it as I worked out the knots. “But I totally understand if you needsome space. We’ve been together a lot. You don’t have to come back today.”
There was a creaking noise as Jem levered himself off the bed. I watched him stalk towards me in the mirror. He stopped just behind me, his level gaze meeting mine. “I mean this in the politest way possible—what thefuckare you talking about, Noah?”
I kept brushing my hair, ignoring how my cheeks were flushing. “I’m just saying, if you need space, that’s fine. I don’t want you to feel like I’m trapping you.”
He studied me thoughtfully for a moment before catching my wrist in mid-movement. “May I?”
Was he asking to brush my hair? I couldn’t imagine so, but he was patiently holding his hand out for the brush.
Nodding mutely, I handed it to him.
It was an odd sensation, having someone else brushing my hair. But…I thought I liked it. Jeremiah’s sure but careful strokes were mending something in me that I hadn’t realised was broken.
“I understand why you said what you did,” he said after a little while, concentrating on my hair as he spoke. “When we met, I was terrified of being in a relationship. So much so that I ran away from you.” His eyes met mine in the mirror. “I regret that so much, Noah. More than you can possibly ever know.”
