Page 42 of Game Changer
Jax
Spending more time with Grandpa and Chelsea today was good and bad, which fucked me right up.I want to make up for lost time.But I feel guilty because I want to run away and hide, because it’s so fucking sad.I also feel guilty because Chelsea is the one shouldering this burden and she didn’t make a single complaint about it.She did say Dad and Uncle Matt are more involved now, and her kids are supportive, so that’s good, but…leaving their place, my head was a spinning circle of guilt and grief and pride and love.
Then I arrived at the pool to see Molly flirting with that guy, while standing there nearly naked in a tiny little bikini, displaying lots of smooth skin and curves, and I kind of overreacted.She has every right to flirt with whoever she wants, I guess, but it disturbed me, and then we had an argument which has never happened before and I didn’t like it.
Luckily, Molly is a rock star and talked me down and isn’t holding a grudge against me for being an idiot.
After a big margarita on the rocks and a few chips and guacamole, not to mention Molly’s smiles and easy conversation, I’m a lot more relaxed than I was an hour ago.This place is fun and casual, and so is Molly.I’ve always liked that about her.Somehow, she always makes me smile.
Except I’m seeing now that she’s more than just fun and casual, which sounds shallow.There’s a lot more to her than that—caring, compassionate, understanding.And brokenhearted.
I have to keep reminding myself that she just broke up with my teammate.After last night’s Lone Rangering, I have to stop thinking about her like that.Seriously.
I can do it.I may like women and sex, but I know enough to keep my hands off a friend who was someone else’s fiancée a few days ago.
We continue to chat as we eat.My fajitas arrive sizzling at the table, smelling amazing, and I dive into them.I didn’t even realize how hungry I was.Maybe I was hangry earlier.That would also explain my annoyance with Justin at the pool.
“Is Christmas your favorite holiday?”she asks.
“Why do you ask that?”
“The way you were talking about playing hockey with your family at Christmas in the past.”
“Oh.Well.Christmas is different now.The whole family doesn’t get together anymore, especially the last few years.And I try to make sure I spend time with my mom and my grandma and grandpa on her side.”
“And the break at Christmas is short.That must make it hard, too.”
“True.But yeah, I like Christmas.Memories, you know?”
“I know.”
“How about you?Is Christmas a big family time?”
“Thanksgiving more so, I guess.I don’t have much family.My brother’s married and has two kids and I love them to bits, but outside of that we don’t have much extended family.I love Christmas though.I love giving presents, and I love snow and twinkling lights.”
“I love snow too.Lots of people think that’s nuts.”
“Well, it can be a pain in the ass, but it can also be beautiful.Actually, it’s kind of magical…that nature can form so many incredibly tiny crystals and pile them up and they’re perfectly white and sparkly.”
I tip my head and smile at her description.She’s right.It is kind of magical.“Yeah.”
“You’d miss snow if you lived here, Canuck boy.”
I laugh.“I definitely would.”
It’s dusk as we leave the restaurant.Back at the resort, we agree to another walk around the grounds.
“Tomorrow I’ll check out the beach,” Molly says.“I found the path to get there.”
“I’ll come with you.”I pause.“If that’s okay.”
She glances sideways at me.“Sure, it’s okay.You don’t have other plans tomorrow?”
“Not until evening.”
She nods.“What about your dad?”
My teeth clench involuntarily.“What about him?”
