Page 115 of Game Changer
“What about Andrew?”
Yeesh.
There was another guy on Tinder who seemed okay.Grace and Brielle were supportive and encouraging.I didn’t think it was going to work, but dammit, I was determined to give it a shot.
“His mouth was gross.”
“What?”She stares at me.
“I looked at his mouth and tried to imagine kissing him.I couldn’t.”
I met Andrew for drinks after work one day.Once again, he seemed like a nice guy.He had a good job, he dressed well, he was well spoken.He didn’t get some of my jokes, but maybe that’s something that takes time.I gave it an honest shot and went out with him again.Still turned off.
“What is wrong with me?”I ask Grace.“Why am I not interested in anyone?”
“Nothing is wrong with you.”She sighs.“Maybe we were wrong to push you into dating again.Maybe you need time by yourself to heal.”
“Honestly?I’m healed.I don’t care about Steve.”
“I mean, maybe you need to time to heal fromJax.”
My head jerks around.My mouth falls open.Shit.
For some reason, my throat constricts and my eyes sting.
Jax is…everything.Smart.Funny.Kind and generous.Yes, he’s a little bottled-up, but I think he just needs to feel safe with making himself vulnerable.Also, he’s incredibly attractive.
I think what’s upsetting me is the thought that I need to get over him.That we can’t be together.I drop my head forward, my chin hitting my chest.“Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
After a moment I lift my head.“Thereissomething wrong with me.Steve didn’t care enough to be faithful or honest.Jax just wanted a sexy fling.I fell for him, but he didn’t fall for me.It’s me.I’m not good enough.”
“Molly, that is not true.You’re amazing.Smart, kind, wonderful with kids.With all people, really.Fun to be with.”
“Thank you.”I try for a wan smile.It’s great to have the support of friends, but deep inside I still feel inadequate.“Maybe you’re right.Maybe I do need time by myself.Not just to heal.But to come to terms with who I am.”
Grace tilts her head.“I know you’ve had a couple of disappointments.But you’ve always been someone who’s comfortable in your own skin.You should take some time, though, and sort out what you really want.”
I feel like I’ve already taken time.It’s been over a month since I left Jax at Clear Lake.I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and evaluate what happened.To consider my feelings for Steve and for Jax.A month isn’t very long, out of a whole lifetime, but I’m confident that my feelings for Steve are over, and my feelings for Jax…aren’t.
After seeing him the other night, my stomach was in knots worrying about his contract.He seemed so glum about it.Ihatethat he’s unhappy.There’s nothing I can do to help, except…I could be there for him.Listen to him.Tell him it’s going to be okay.I wish so much I could do that.
Should I try?
23
Jax
I frown as my doorman tells me there’s someone here to see me.“Who is it?”
I’m not expecting anyone.Is it one of my teammates here to commiserate with me?Jesus.I rub my face.
“It’s Molly Flynn, Mr.Wynn.”
My heart stops.Then it slams into a rapid rhythm against my chest.For a few seconds I can’t get words out.“Okay,” I finally croak.“Send her up.”
I drop my phone and stare across the room.What the fuck?
