Page 34 of The Throne Seeker
Xavier eyed the double doors leading to the balcony. “I thought it was obvious.”
She followed his gaze. Of course—she should have known. He’d often scaled the walls up to her room when they were children, a habit that earned him frequent scoldings from his mother.
“What do you want?” she asked, mustering a glare.
“I need to know why you requested me to be pardoned.”
She blinked. That was it? He had gone through all that effort to scale the castle walls to ask her a silly question? Among all the scenarios she had anticipated, she wasn’t prepared for that.
“What?” She raised her brows.
“I don’t have much time. The guards will notice I’m gone soon.” He inched forward, distracting her as his citrus scent filled her nose, thrusting her back to that day by the river—when she’d been cradled in his arms with the warmth of his body against her mangled one. His hands clenched so vigorously on the fabric of her dress that he nearly tore the garment in half.
“Why?” he demanded again, pulling her out of the memory.
“Because I still care about you,” she snapped.
Xavier’s body became still, staring at her like she’d just said something obscene.
“Is that all you came here for?”
He studied her for a long moment before softly saying, “You really are a fool, Rose.”
Her eyes narrowed—the nerve of him.
“Well, if that’s all you came to say, you can leave. Unless you came here to finish what you started on the beach.” The glow of the candles flickered across her face. “You’ll never get a better opportunity. If you want to kill me, you should do it now.”
“I wouldn’t,” Xavier bit back, at last a hint of humanity shining through. “I could never in a million years truly hurt you. I only did it because I knew my father wouldn’t throw the succession if it were anyone else. I made sure that scratch was shallow and nowhere near any place that would permanently harm you.” His gaze flickered down the exposed wound.
His sincere response made her pause. Xavier was excellent with daggers and arrows. He never missed his target. If he wanted to inflict permanent damage, he could have. But she still didn’t understand one thing.
“Why would you want out of the succession?”
Xavier’s eyes built an invisible barrier to protect themselves. “Because… being here is just a painful reminder that I don’t deserve to be here at all.” His tormented gaze lowered to his leather gloves. “My father is right. I shouldn’t be king. I don’t deserve to be… Not anymore.”
Her heart softened. She couldn’t judge anyone who’d dealt with war—only left to imagine the horrors that would plague his mind and peace forever.
But it still didn’t change the fact that he’d used her.
“So cutting me open and running from your problems was your solution? To leave everything and everyone behind?”
He prowled to her, stopping only a breath away from her face as his savage eyes locked down on to hers. “Likeyoustayed a year ago? When we all had to stay and bear it while you left? What makes you exempt from the same fate?”
There it was. Just like Roman, Xavier was angry at her for not returning.
“It wasn’t my choice.” A half truth. “And besides, you made it clear you didn’t care if I stayed or left.”
“Of course I cared,” he hissed. He opened his mouth to continue, but he closed it again, shaking his head and dismissing it. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. I’m leaving. This is the last time you’ll see me. I don’t expect you to forgive me… but I couldn’t leave without you knowing I would nevertrulyhurt you.”
Before she could even form a thought, he headed for the door.
She stared at the void he’d created, figuring out what to feel. But he was leaving in the next few seconds, and she didn’t want to have regrets. She cursed, knowing she couldn’t let them part like this. Not after all that they’d been through.
She finally jumped off the vanity chair to follow him. “Xavier, wait.”
He had barely grasped the latch when she placed her hand on top of his.
Xavier stiffened under her touch as he peered down at her hand over his. His eyes radiated pain—as though her touch hurt him. He turned slowly to face her, his hot breaths hitting her face.
