Page 251 of The Throne Seeker
She sucked in her cheek and bit it. “I only realized it a few weeks ago.”
“Have you been with him all this time?”
She nodded weakly. “After the wedding… he saw how broken I was. He wanted to help me, give me space to heal.”
Tristan’s mouth twisted. “He helped, alright… helped himself to you.” He rose to his feet, pacing through the wreckage of his room while running his fingers through his disheveled hair.
Rose knew what he was trying to do. “Don’t blame him. He didn’t steal me from you.”
“But that’s precisely what he did, isn’t it? In hindsight, he knew exactly what he was doing. Pretending he was helping. Setting it all up perfectly. It’s all just so convenient.” He kicked the broken chair.
His aggression didn’t faze her. “You don’t get to play the innocent card in all this, Tristan. You did your fair share of making sure I could find no one else. You and I both know you were being cruel to dissuade other suitors.”
“Iwas being cruel?” he exclaimed. “Is that what you think? I wasprotectingyou! I didn’t want you to have to marry solely for the fact you needed it to survive. I wanted you to have the opportunity to find someone you loved.”
“You think Grant couldn’t love me?” she challenged.
“Iknowhe didn’t love you! If he did, he would’ve married you whether or not you had money. But what did he do as soon as he learned you were destitute? He left!” He shot a pointedhand toward the door. “You think I’d entrust you to someone like that?”
“Hisparentswere the reason he had to leave. He would have nothing without their approval.”
He jerked his hand back and pointed at himself, poking himself aggressively in the chest. “I would’ve given all the money and good standing in the world for you!” Tristan yelled. “No matter what people said.”
“What about Xavier?” She tried not to rise to his anger. “What’s your excuse for him?”
Tristan’s eyes darkened like a crazed animal’s. “You mean my so-called brother who cut your neck open? Who used you? Do you forget it was me who found you bleeding out into the sea? Who held your unconscious body, praying to the gods you weren’t dead? He’d have only hurt you. All he does is hurt you, over and over, and I couldn’t let him do that again.”
“That wasn’t your decision to make!”
“I’m sorry!” he yelled in dire desperation, stepping forward. “I’m sorry if how I went about it was wrong, but I was trying to protect you.”
Rose’s glare softened. In his own twisted way, what he had done was out of self-preservation, just like thorns on a rose—they protected themselves not out of malicious intent but to make sure they endured. She knew because that’s how she had survived her father. And Tristan… Tristan was going down the same path.
“I understand you have your thorns,” she said, almost to herself. “That’s why I can forgive you. And if I can forgive you for all you’ve done, don’t you think you can forgive Roman and I?”
Tristan cringed. “Please,” he pleaded. “Anyone but my brothers.”
She shook her head slowly. “It’s too late for that.”
Tristan’s face twisted in pain as he stepped towards her again, determined. “Tell me you don’t love me.”
She hadn’t been expecting that. Her mouth stumbled to respond. She wanted to reply no, but for some reason, she couldn’t.
Her siren refused.
His eyes came within inches, barging into hers. “Tell me honestly. Is there any part of you that still loves me? Don’t bother trying to lie. I’ll know if you are.”
Damn him for knowing her so well. She wasn’t a good liar. She never had been.
She tried to avoid the question. “Tristan, it doesn’t matter?—”
“Answer me!” he shouted.
“Of course a part of me will always love you!” she cried, tears spilling over her lower lids. She hated him for making her say it—loathing herself for feeling that way in the first place. “But you watched me cry inconsolably over something you had done and you didn’t even notice. You didn’t evenflinch. You were so caught up in your own needs that you neglected mine because you were scared of the answers.”
His desperation took over. “I’m sorry.” He lowered his voice. “You’re right. I should’ve asked. But I care. I care so much I can scarcely breathe. I’m sorry I sent Zareb away. It was wrong of me. I see that now. I shouldn’t have taken your sword. I did so many things wrong. But please, Rose, please don’t do this to me. Don’t be withhim.”
She stood firm. “I can’t change the fact I love him, and I wouldn’t want to… And more importantly, you have a family to look after. You need to find a way to forget about me.”
