Page 128 of The Throne Seeker
His words brought hot tears to her eyes. She scarcely believed them. “All I wanted was for you to believe me.” She cursed her fragile voice, wishing she was in a better state to control it. “It hurt to think you thought I was capable of something like that… I was so sure that you, of all people, would see the truth.”
Roman finally stepped around to face her, his jaw set tight. “I know. I should’ve trusted you.”
Rose wouldn’t meet his gaze, still staring into the fountain, not trusting herself to speak. Yes, he should have trusted her. At least he admitted it.
“Believe me when I say Ineverwant to be the cause of your pain again. I’ll never question you again.” His gaze seared the side of her face. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me, because… because I want to be friends again.”
Her first impulse was to say they would never be friends again. To let him see how it felt to be rejected and deemed untrustworthy. To be scorched from the inside out. But deep down, she knew blaming him wouldn’t make her feel better. It’d only prolong her pain, and she was tired of fighting. She couldn’t summon the energy—too much of it had already been spent.
So instead, she weakly nodded, wiping her eyes.
His feet shuffled like he was nervous—another trait unfamiliar to him. “What if I help train you?”
Rose’s wide eyes locked on his. She was positive she heard him wrong. “What?” she whispered.
“I know I can’t replace Zareb,” he said his name with care. “He taught you remarkably well, but I could continue where he left off. I could help finish your training.”
Her jaw slackened. She’d never expected this from him, not in a million years. “You’d do that?”
He nodded slowly. “I would. If it’s still something you want.”
“Yes,” she answered almost too quickly. “But Tristan will be furious if he finds out.”
Roman scoffed. “Tristan doesn’t scare me. He can’t banish me like Zareb. He doesn’t have that power over me, not yet.”
“Still, it’s a risk. He may not banish you, but there are plenty of other things he could do to make you wish you hadn’t. I don’t want you getting punished because of me.” She couldn’t handle another person suffering for her sake.
“I know the risks.” He didn’t look the least bit worried.
Her eyes roamed over him curiously. “Why?” she finally asked.
Roman’s gaze shifted to the fountain, searching the water like he could find the answer in the soft glow. His eyes returned to hers. “You’ve done so well; it’d be a shame to stop now.”
She studied him, contemplating his answer. It was vague, but what he was offering was too big of a temptation. “When do we start?”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
“Tomorrow?” she suggested, desperately needing to keep her mind on something else.Anythingelse.
The corner of his mouth twitched upward, nearly smiling but not quite. “Tomorrow it is.” Dare she say he soundedglad.
She wanted to smile back, but her heart was far too crippled to make the muscles in her cheeks move.
“Come on.” He nudged her towards the castle. “You must be exhausted.”
They walked back in silence, side by side. She focused on her steps, counting them to distract her mind from wandering to—things. She counted them. One… two… three… six… twelve.
She counted all the way until they reached her door, the diversion fulfilling its job.
She faced Roman, about to say thank you. “You helped me today,” she said instead.
Roman saw right through her façade. “Hardly… Are you going to be alright?”
The simple question jabbed her heart as her anxiety resurfaced, threatening to take over. The hour was a painful reminder that the celebration would be ending soon, meaning Tristan was about to return to his room with his new wife. She grimaced on the inside, wrapping her arms around herself.
“Of course,” Rose lied through her teeth.
Roman stepped closer, towering over her. After a long agonizing silence, he said, “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
