Page 107 of The Throne Seeker
Whatever that may bring.
She was completely soaked by the time she reached the castle, but her appearance was the last thing on her mind. At least the rain would help mask the fact that she’d been crying. Gathering her courage, she entered the castle.
As she walked through the crowded corridors, the court stared with wide eyes; among them was Harriet, completely taken aback. Rose held her head high, ignoring the gawking gazes as she kept a blank expression.
She’d only been in her room for a few moments when a knock came at the door.
“Rose, it’s me,” her mother’s voice called.
She hurried and wiped her nose, sniffling. “Come in.”
Rose watched from the mirror as her mother appeared, quickly closing the door behind her. Her mother’s frown showed clear disapproval, and she was likely preparing to scold her forthe state she’d just let herself be seen in. That was until her mother saw her puffy eyes.
Immediately, she switched modes. “What happened?” she asked, hurrying to kneel at Rose’s side as she scanned her head to toe. “Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”
Rose tried to take a deep breath, but her chest gave out. “I’m—I’m sorry, Mum.” Her voice shook and she gasped between sobs, somehow still having tears left. “I’ve just ruined everything.”
“Shh,” her mother comforted, cradling her head into her chest. “Calm down. Now, what’s this that’s got you so upset?”
“I—I told Tristan I didn’t… I couldn’t… marry him,” she admitted through sobs.
Her mother extracted herself from her arms. “You did what?” Her eyes widened in disbelief. “Why would you do that? This isn’t because of the treaty, is it? Because I’ve spoken to the king, he said he was backed into a corner but that he’d do everything he could to get them to change their mind.”
That was just it. He wouldn’t. The king was on board with the decision, or he never would have agreed. Not to hurt her. Never to hurt her. But this had been his goal all along, his dream—to unite the provinces as one. And this opportunity wasn’t just for him but for all of Vallor. For a better world.
Even if it weren’t the case, even if she were a good, selfless person, there was more to her decision than the welfare of Vallor.
So she said, “No. Well, maybe, but there’s more.”
Her mother blinked, perplexed. “Tell me.”
And so she did. Rose told her everything that had happened—every word uttered, every truth unspoken. To her credit, her mother stayed silent and listened patiently without interruption. A rare occurrence indeed.
“I’m sorry, Mum. I’m so sorry,” she ended, blowing her nose with the handkerchief her mother had given her. “I know how much it meant for me to marry him, but I can’t for so many reasons. I do love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I know he loves me… but sometimes, he…” Her voice tapered off. It didn’t matter now. “I just wonder if it’s me he truly loves or the idea of me.”
Her mother looked at her sympathetically, wrapping her arms around her again. “Oh, honey.” She kissed the top of her head, cradling it again. “I was afraid of this. I was afraid I asked too much of you.”
“No—you’ve done so much for me. Given up so much for us to get here. After everything you’ve been through for me, you deserve a life like this.”
Her mother lifted Rose’s chin to meet her eyes. “Oh, my sweet summer child, you’re confusing our roles.Iam the one who is supposed to worry about what kind of lifeyouwill have. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m as tough as bones… But I’d hoped you’d be happy here. I’m only sorry I didn’t see it. I thought this is what you wanted.”
“It was,” Rose said truthfully. “I was happy here for a long time, but things have changed.I’vechanged.”
Her mother tucked her water-streaked hair behind her ear. “We’ll figure it out. If it’s not Tristan, we’ll find another suitor… You’re sure this is what you want?”
Of course it wasn’t. “No, none of this is what I want, but I feel like it has to be this way.”
“I can’t imagine him letting you go so easily. He’ll fight for you, you know.”
“I’m afraid he’ll try to refuse the crown,” Rose whispered. “I can’t have him give it up for me.”
Her mother agreed, her face growing determined. “No. We can’t let that happen. For all of our sakes, he must accept the crown.”
“How do we do that?”
Her mother looked out the balcony doors, rain still pouring outside as she searched the air. Rose could almost see her rearranging their plans. “I’m not sure.” Her eyes returned to Rose and softened. “But you don’t need to worry about that right now. We don’t have to decide anything tonight. Think on it, and we’ll deal with it tomorrow.”
Rose nodded, her composure slowly starting to slip. She buried her face in her hands to hide the pain building back up in her chest, causing her shoulders to shake.
