Page 46 of Saving Tracey
She turned to me, drying her hands on a dish towel. "What happened?"
"Basically, Kaleb went at Tracey over the fact that she's with me and not him. He scared the ever-living fuck out of her. He said some hateful things about her, and she took off."
She sighed and tucked the hair behind her ear that had fallen out of her bun. "She needs help, Trevor."
I shook my head instantly. Sure, she might be able to use a therapist for her anxiety attacks, but I just had a bad feeling in my stomach that her talking to a therapist would make her feel even worse.
"She doesn't need help. She needs someone to love her and to show her that there’s actually good in this fucked up world. What I went through was nothing compared to what she suffered." I pushed off the counter and tossed my hair out of my eyes. "I'm going to get her out of that hole even if it’s the last thing I do."
Glenda looked up at me with worry-filled eyes. "Trevor, Dale and I worked so hard to get you to where you are today. Don't let her drag you down again.”
I glared at her, anger immediately pouring into my veins, though somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew she was only looking out for me. "Don't fucking lecture me on this shit." She recoiled from my tone immediately, looking away. "Tracey is fucking everything to me, and I will never fucking leave her side, understand? That girl is everything I have ever fucking wanted and more. If you can't understand that, then I'm fucking sorry for you."
Glenda sighed, shaking her head. "Trevor, I didn't mean it to sound like that. I only meant to be careful."
"The boy will be careful," Dale said, coming into the kitchen. He clapped a hand on my shoulder, making me tense up at his touch. I knew that he didn't mean it harmfully; it was just a habitto tense up at someone’s touch. "He's in love, Glenda. A man in love always knows what he’s doing."
I left the room, pondering over what Dale said.Was I in love with Tracey?It sure did feel like it. I hated being apart from her, and seeing her happy warmed my soul. Watching her accomplish something to bring her out of her depression made me absolutely ecstatic.
Fuck me—I was in love with Tracey.
I walked up the stairs to my room and slid into the dark room quietly. She was still sleeping, clutching my pillow to her chest like it was her lifeline.
Fuck, she was doing crazy things to me.
TRACEY
My eyes flew open, sweat making my clothes stick to my skin disgustingly. I threw the sheets off of me and scrambled out of bed, desperately trying to keep myself from panicking as the flashback pushed against my mind.
The door to the adjoining bathroom opened, and Trevor stepped out, a towel around his waist, drying his hair with another. He looked up at me when he stepped into the room, automatically noticing my panicked expression. "You okay?"
I blew out a breath, turning away from him. I nodded mutely. I was hyper-aware of him coming up behind me, so I was ready when he placed his hands on my hips, pulling me back against him. My breath hitched in my throat when I felt his bare, muscular torso press against me, still warm from his shower, but dry. "Baby, you can look at me, you know that right?" He kissed the top of my head.
I nodded in answer, thankful that the flashback went away for now. He turned me around slowly, so I was looking at his bare chest. I didn't want to look up into his face.
When a man is naked in front of you, Tracey, you are meant to pleasure him.
I cringed, moving to step back from Trevor. All I could hear washisvoice, telling me what to do and how best to do it.
Fuck, I felt like being sick.
"Tracey—" I shook my head, cutting him off.
I continued to move away from him. "Don’t. Just don't. I'm going to take a shower."
I practically ran to the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind me, locking it. I knew a locked door wouldn't keep Trevor away from me if he wanted to be near me, but I just hoped it gave him the message that I didn't want to be bothered.
I stripped out of my clothes, finding disgust in the scars that covered my body as I looked at myself in the mirror. Tears slipped down my cheeks, remembering all of the horrific times that bastard had hurt me.
I needed relief from the emotional pain—something to escape this fucking nightmare.
I desperately scrambled around for something, anything, to relieve the itch to cut. There had to be something in this fucking bathroom that I could use.
"Tracey, what the hell are you doing in there?!”
I ignored him and continued searching. I was desperate. I wanted this all to fucking end. The goddamn memories, the pain, the scars. I wanted them all to just go away.
"You have one fucking second to answer me, Tracey, or I swear to God, I will bust this door in and find out myself.”
