Page 31 of Saving Tracey
My eyes searched the bathroom, finally landing on the pair of bloody scissors she held in her other hand. I pulled her up against my body, not caring about the blood that began to cover my clothes. I kissed her forehead, rocking her as I held her to me tightly. "You're going to be okay, Tracey. I promise."
And she would be. I would fucking make sure of it.
She wasn’t fucking alone.
I looked around me. There was just so much fucking blood. Why would she try to do this to herself? Fuck, she knew I was there for her. I knew what she was going through. I knew how much she was suffering.
I just wish she would let me be there for her.
I tried giving her the space she needed without pushing her too much, but fuck space.
This shit was never happening to her again.
Paramedics flooded into the bathroom, and I moved out of the way so they could lift her limp body onto a stretcher. After confirming that she was still breathing and putting an oxygen mask over her face, they wrapped her wrist in gauze, stopping the bleeding as much as they could until they could stitch her up in the van.
I jogged down the stairs and outside to my bike, not waiting around for Paul or Kaleb and his family.
I had to get to the hospital as soon as possible.
When I got to the hospital, I began pacing the floor. That was how Kaleb and his mom found me once they finally made it tothe hospital. Kaleb clenched his hands in his lap as he took a seat, leaning forward, blowing out a harsh breath.
I didn’t know how he could stand to sit still. I couldn't. I felt like I was going to go nuts.
Paul came in and put a hand on my shoulder. I gritted my teeth and flinched at his touch, turning to glare at him. "What?"
"We're going to be out here a while. Do you want a drink?" He was used to how I could get when I was stressed after all of the years of him and I being brothers.
"No.” I went back to pacing.
Tracey had to be okay. All I could picture was all of that blood. I could still smell the copper scent of it.
There was so fucking much.
It was a miracle she was alive.
I was so thankful we had gotten to Kaleb's house in time.
By the time the nurse came out to get us, all of Kaleb's family was there, and my feet hurt from all of the pacing that I had done. I needed a cigarette—badly.
"What's going on? Is she okay?” Miss Brinson was on the doctor as soon as he came into view.
"Tracey is stable. I would like to discuss something with you, if that is okay?"
I watched them with hard eyes as they went off to talk quietly. After a moment, Kaleb's mom came back over. "We can go see her. She's in room 213 on the second floor."
She didn't have to tell me twice. I stormed over to the elevators and slammed my fist over the button to go up. Krista grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "You okay?"
I shook my head no.No, I wasn't fucking okay.I couldn't understand why Tracey did this to herself, and I wouldn't be okay until she explained it to me.
When we got to her room, I clenched my jaw at the sight of the scars covering her pale wrists. She had obviously done thismore than just this one time. Why hadn't she accomplished it before now? What the fuck had stopped her?
Her eyes fluttered open and immediately landed on me since I was the closest to her bed. She quickly grabbed the blanket to cover her arms, but I just glared at her. "Too late; I've already seen them.” I wasn’t able to stop the anger from filtering into my words.
"Yeah, but not everybody else has." She looked away from me, not wanting to meet my eyes.
"We're so glad you're okay!" Miss Brinson was a mess. I clenched my jaw, almost having forgotten they were in the room with us. "I've never been more scared in my life, Tracey. You can't do something like that again! Where'd you even get those scissors from?"
"School.” She spoke so low though that I could hardly understand her.
