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Daddy nodded approvingly. “It’s a pleasure to meet both of you. I wish I had time to chat more, but I really must attend to this Isabella situation.”

I really wanted to take Isabella down myself. But I didn’t want to go against Daddy’s wishes. And I didn’t have time to focus on Isabella. Because right now, the most important thing was Ash losing her virginity. If she didn’t, Christmas would be ruined. But also…a part of me couldn’t stop thinking about destroying Isabella…

“Will you be back before bed so we can hang our stockings?” I asked.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He kissed my forehead and then walked out.

“Daddy hot,” said Slavanka.

Ash cringed. “I can’t believe I called him Daddy.”

“Why?” I asked. “That’s his name.”

“It felt so…sexual. Anyway, let’s never speak of that again, please. Also, I’d really like to go buy some pants.”

“Wouldn’t you rather go bake some cookies for Santa?” That wasn’t really the plan. The plan was to let Daddy handlethe Isabella situation while I handled the Ash-being-a-virgin situation. Focusing on Ash was the only way I’d be able to forget about Crazy Isabella. And the best way to do that was to lure Ash to the hotel and let her feast her eyes on the hot bellhops. She was definitely gonna want to fuck at least one of them.

“YES!” Ash didn’t even care that her ass was still out. She just ran into the beer hall. And then she stopped. “I have no idea where I’m going.”

I laughed. “Follow me.”

“Please tell me we’re not going back to the scene of the crime,” said Ash as we retraced our steps from earlier.

“What crime?” I asked.

“The naked boob faceplanting.”

“Our hotel is right at the base of the slopes, so yes. But again, no crime was committed because Germans love nudity.” Speaking of loving nudity…I wondered where Ghostie and Teddybear were. I’d expected them to be waiting at the resort entrance for us with our luggage.

But the only person there was a jolly old doorman.

“Welcome to the Royal Spielzeughersteller Hotel,” he said with a deep bow as he opened the doors for us.

“Spiel-zoo-what Hotel?” asked Ash. “After the pantsless Jacket Emporium fiasco, I know better than to walk into a German place without fully understanding the translation.”

“Spielzeughersteller,” I said. “It means toy maker. This village was once home to a famous toy maker. The locals here will tell you that he was the inspiration for Santa.”

Ash looked SO excited. “Are you serious? Why did you not tell me that sooner? Do you think we’ll see him tonight?!”

“If we’re lucky.” I looked around again for Ghostie and Teddybear. But they weren’t in the lobby either. They must have already taken our luggage up to our room. Which was annoying, because I really wanted Ash to see the hot bellhops…

I walked up to the counter and rang the bell.

Three bellhops came rushing out pushing luggage carts. They stopped in front of us.

“You rang?” asked one of them.

“Yes, I need you to take my luggage up to the Kaiser suite.”

He looked at my feet. And then behind the front desk. “Pardon me, fraulein. What luggage?”

I took off my jacket and tossed it onto one of their carts. Slavanka did the same. And then we all looked at Ash.

“And you?” asked the last bellhop in the sexiest German accent.

Come on, girl! Show him your tits!

Instead she wrenched her leg to the side and collapsed onto the ground in one of the worst pieces of theater I’ve ever seen. “My ankle. I think it’s broken. So I’m the luggage.”