Page 16 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 9
“Ash! You’re a genius!”
“So the troops will kill Isabella for us?”
“No. But you gave me an idea of how we could get the Chadwicks and Locatellis to agree to an alliance.” I rolled out more of the wrapping paper and started sketching. “Let’s stage a competition to see who can sneakily deliver the most gifts tothe troops on Christmas Eve. I’ll be on a team with Chad and the Banana King. And when we win, they’ll see how well we all work together. Then they’ll want to join us in an alliance against Crazy Isabella.”
“Chad penis too small for sexy package delivery,” said Slavanka.
“Good point. I’ll have the Chadwick’s underboss be on the team instead.” I crossed Chad out and replaced him with their sexy underboss.
“Won’t they recognize eachother and refuse to participate?” asked Ash.
“Another good point,” I said. “But we can get around that by putting them in sexy elf masks.” I drew a little elf hat and mask on each of the figures.
Ash gave me a look. “Sexy elf masks? Is that a thing? I don’t think of Christmas elves as sexy.”
“Well you need to watchStuffing Mrs. Claus, then,” I said, pointing to the DVD she’d gotten from her sister. “I’m sure Justin can whip something up for us.” He was a master at making sexy women’s clothes and he wasn’t even attracted to girls. I couldn’t wait to see what he’d do with sexy menswear.
“Do we have to wear the sexy elf masks too?”
Hmmm.The masks I’d drawn were sexy, but in a manly way. “We’ll wear ski masks,” I said as I drew us on the wrapping paper. “But we’ll have the tops cut off so our hair can still show. It’ll be hot.”
“Perfect,” said Ash. “So you’ll have mobsters on your team. Who will be on my team?”
“You sure you want to come? This could get pretty dangerous.”
“I can’t just let you walk into the lions’ den all alone. I’m your ride or die bitch.”
“Yeah you are!” I high fived her.
“I just have one condition.”
“Anything.”
“If I come, I want a ski suit that tears away super easily. If some fucker tries to kidnap me again, I want my suit to tear right off like it’s a lizard’s tail being grabbed by a toddler.”
“You got it,” I said.
“Then I’m there. So who’s gonna be on my team?”
“Uh…” I snapped my fingers. “I’ll call some of my brothers at the Gryphon Club. I’m sure they’ll be down. And they’ll be good muscle in case it turns into a Christmas morning massacre.” I drew Flash, Adonis, and Master Hung, taking particular care to accurately portray their enormous cocks.
“I get big strong German man on my team,” said Slavanka. “You know old saying: German man do anything for Christmas present.”
Is that a saying?
“Speaking of Christmas presents,” said Rosalie. “Why don’t you just give the other families nice Christmas presents? That always brings people together.”
“Shit! You’re brilliant. How did we not think of that sooner?” I tore off my drawings and tossed them into the trash next to the Home Alone plans. “Okay… What do you give a mafia boss who has everything?”
“Dead horse head in bed,” said Slavanka.
“You’re not wrong. But that’s more of a threat than a peace offering.”
Ash nodded. “We could give them each a gingerbread house like the one upstairs. That thing was freaking delicious.”
She was right. It was delicious. But something told me that a mob boss wouldn’t take kindly to a cum-covered gingerbread house. “That seems a little generic. Let’s try to find something in the middle.”
Ash and Rosalie started throwing out ideas rapid fire.
