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“Yes.”

Ash frowned. “I don’t know who this bitch is, but we have to stop her.”

“I’m working on a plan.”

“Maybe we can help. Give us all the deets.”

“Okay…so… Chad’s family, the Chadwicks….”

“There’s a dude named Chad Chadwick?” asked Rosalie.

“Not just any dude,” said Ash. “He’s Chastity’s fiancé.”

“Boyfriend,” I corrected, holding up my finger with the 2-carat promise ring he’d given me. “Anyway, the Chadwicksbought a whole fucking mountain in North Carolina and started developing it, but they’re idiots and can’t find any buyers. So they’re on the verge of bankruptcy.”

“Which is why he gave you such a small ring,” said Rosalie.

“Exactly!” I was starting to understand why Ash spoke so highly of Rosalie. “Then there’s the Locatellis. They’ve always been our main rival. And recently Daddy fucked them over by getting a bunch of their building permits pulled, leaving them with millions of dollars’ worth of the finest Italian finishes and nowhere to install them. So they’re going bankrupt as well, and they’re super pissed about it.”

“And those fuckers kidnapped me,” added Ash.

“You got kidnapped?!” asked Rosalie.

Ash nodded. “The banana king snatched me up and was going to auction my body to the highest bidder.”

Interesting.She remembered it now that she’d been drinking.

“Wow,” Rosalie said. “I’m going to need so much more information. Who is this banana king? He sounds hot.”

“Girl, you should see his cock.” I held my hands up to show her how big it was.

Rosalie’s jaw dropped. “Tell me more.”

“He wants to take Ash’s virginity.”

Rosalie turned to Ash. “You turned him down?”

Ash nodded. “He was going to stream it on the internet!”

“So what? That would have been such an epic way to lose your virginity.”

“Gah, I know!” said Ash. And then she turned red. “Next topic please. Tell us about this Crazy Isabella girl.”

“Crazy Isabella is the heir to the most ruthless and most powerful family in the city. I didn’t go to school with her, but my friends at Empire High told me she was fuckingnuts.Apparently she just got out of the looney bin, and now she’s trying to prove to her father that he should give her the keys to the kingdom. We suspect she’s gonna try to murder all the heads of the families on Christmas morning.”

“Shit,” said Ash. “Your dad should just hide.”

“That’s what I told him. But he can’t show any signs of weakness. This business is all about seeming strong. Wait a second! That’s it! We look weak when we’re all fighting against each other. But if we could create an alliance with the Chadwicks and Locatellis, we’d be too strong for Isabella to attack us.”

“So you’re gonna marry Chad?” asked Ash.

"No way. I’m not ready to settle down yet.”And I’m pretty sure he’s trying to steal all my money.“But maybe you could seduce the banana king to at least get the Locatellis on our side. Hereallywanted to take your virginity.” And if she lost her virginityto him, then I’d be able to get laid again. So it would be a win-win.

Ash moaned.

Wow, she really likes that idea.But when I looked over at her I realized she was just moaning because she’d taken a bite of the gingerbread house.

“This icing is delicious,” she said and grabbed for another piece. But she was too greedy and tried to take an entire wall, so the whole thing collapsed. Ash really did love the taste of cum… One of the chimneys fell right on a gingerbread man and snapped him clean in half. “Poor gingerbread man,” said Ash. “If only a chimney would fall on Crazy Isabella instead, all our problems would be solved.” And then her eyes lit up. “Are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?”