“You think you’ve had it? What about me?” I toss my hands in the air. “I’m the one who is sitting here alone recovering every day. By myself.”
She sniffs. “That was your decision. Not ours. Don’t take that out on us.”
“I can do what I want, I’m the one who has to start over.” Even I’m cringing as the sound of my whiny voice fills the room.
“You can, but when you do, your actions affect us. And don’t forget I’m your mother. I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it.”
She’s used that one on me before. “I’m an adult now.”
“Prove it.”
“It’s not like I invited you guys to come by here—”
This is when Levi gives me the impression he’s also had enough. “That’s it,” he interjects, clapping his hands together. Finally someone comes to my defense for once. But my, how the tables turn. Where there should’ve been brotherly love, he’s taking a different side. “You need to quit talking to our mother like she’s not worth your time. In fact, you need to stop talking to all of us like we’re an imposition. I think we’re all tired of it, Austin.”
“Et tu, Brute?” Slowly, I lower myself back onto the massage table and begin rubbing my temples. Even though it feels good to spout off some steam, it also doesn’t. It’s hollow anger, which is kind of how I feel most of the time.
“Don’t quote words at me,” Levi huffs. “I don’t want to hear you talking to our mother like that, nor do I want you talking to me the way you have been. I can put up with a lot, but it’s been too much and going on for too long.”
“Really? You’re not the one who was forced into early retirement. You chose to leave.”
I thought that would shut him up. It only adds fuel to his fire.
“You have a torn Achilles. You could heal and get back on the field, but you have to want it bad enough. One thing I don’t see from you is that kind of want.” Levi throws his hands in the air. “I’ve watched you treat our mother like crap, witnessed your meltdowns for months now, and not said a thing, only now they’re spilling onto your neighbor. How long until you start treating Georgie poorly? Or even Emma for that matter?”
I’m offended. “You really think I’d lash out at either one of them—”
“Yes,” he interjects. “I do. Have you seen yourself lately and paid attention to how you act? You are a train wreck, man.”
“Stop that,” I say, wagging a finger of warning his way.
“Or what?” he taunts. “You gonna come after me? Yell at me? Splash me with mud?” Levi snorts sarcastically. “Of course you won’t. You’re too busy avoiding me and your responsibilities to our business. We agreed that when I’m on the road, you are supposed to be the point person for our properties. Remember that?”
“Stop it, Levi.” My tone is clipped and quick, but I need him to get it. He’s pushing too hard.
Mom, who had been standing with her hands clasped and her head swiveling from side to side like she’s watching a tennis match, pipes up. “I’m not going to stop him, Austin, because your brother has a point. It’s aggressive, but it’s true.”
At least she gets my subtle hint.
“I’m being aggressive because he is,” Levi grumbles, sounding a lot like he did when we were teens.
“I’m not being aggressive, you are.” Okay. Pot meet kettle.
“Boys.” Mom comes over to the table and motions for me to scoot over. Once I do, she hops up beside me and throws an arm around me. “I think this is a tough love moment for you, but it had to happen, Austin. We can’t go on like this,youcan’t go on like this.”
When I look into her eyes, I see her hurt. Her pain. And it’s not only hers, it’s the pain and hurt she has for me. For a son who isn’t able to be there for her like he used to be.
And I hate it. I need to do better.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, dragging my eyes to hers. I can’t look at Levi. I’m not ready to deal with him yet. I want to fix things with our mom first. “I don’t know why I’m compelled to be such a grump.”
At that moment, something outside my window in the distance catches my eye. Turning my head to see what it is, I spy a lone German shepherd crouched in my yard, and if I’m not mistaken, it’s actually eyeballing me. I swear. That dog is looking me square in the eyes as he does a number two. Then, with two swift kicks of his back feet as if he was covering it, he takes off and races across the field to Bex’s house.
“Are. You. KIDDING ME?” I scream, jumping off the table and barely managing to wrap the sheet around me that covers my nether regions. Throwing open the front door, I get a little jump scare when I almost trip over Emma sitting on my front steps holding a book.
“Why are you screaming?” she asks.
“Because I want some quiet, but my house is like Grand Central Station today and that dog just dropped a turd in my yard,” I say, spit flying from my mouth. Wow. I donotrecognize myself anymore.
