“Excuse me, Austin?” she all but purrs. “Your sheets in the bedroom have been changed and all of the laundry is put away. Need anything else before I go?”
“Nope, thank you, Amy.” I keep my face pressed into the hole cut into the table. Look, I know she likes me, but I try to watch everything I do so I don’t lead her on, you know? She seems nice enough except for the time I caught her changing in my bedroom.
“Okay,” she says slowly. I can hear her footsteps as she makes her way toward the foyer. “See you soon.”
As she leaves, Emma’s fingers dig in even more. It feels like she’s trying to rip my muscles apart.
“For someone who’s supposed to be here aiding me with my recovery, you’re doing a terrible job.”
There’s a pause as her fingers are replaced with what must be the pointy tip of her elbow. She leans into me with all of her weight, grunting in the process while I bite my tongue so I don’t emit the high-pitched squeal that’s currently caught in my throat.
“Terrible?” She eases off only to come back with more force. It’s like a sumo wrestler has taken over the body of my physical therapist. “I’d watch it if I was you. Although, saying that, I need to make sure I’m nowhere near you the next time we’re in the driveway.”
“It was an accident,” I whine as she taps me on the head lightly, her signal that it’s time for me to roll over.
“Austin, you need to deal with your boundaries here. First up, that maid.”
Sighing, I throw my hands in the air. “She has a crush.”
“On her boss. Didn’t you tell me you found some socks and that some of your T-shirts were missing after she started?”
“Well, yes,” I confess. “Underwear, too, but I could have lost them myself.”
“And you hired her to be here once a week, and now she shows up at least twice a week?”
“She said she was worried and wanted to make sure the house was clean.”
“Austin.” I can hear the shock in her tone. “No one does that. Get a new maid. And go tell your neighbor you’re sorry.” Greased hands begin massaging the bottoms of my feet, sending me straight to heaven. Emma knows my soft spot. “But, really, I know another cleaning service and I’m happy to send you their details. Discreet and old.”
“Old?”
She cackles. “Little old retired women work for the company, and I think for you, it’s perfect.”
I’m seriously contemplating Emma’s suggestion when the door that enters into my kitchen opens and closes, the screen door slamming with such force I think momentarily it came off its hinges.
“Austin!” My mother’s voice echoes through the house. For someone who was so happy to see me earlier today, she doesn’t sound so pleased now.
“In here,” I call out, lifting my head up and squinting as she appears in the room and beside me within seconds. “Good thing I’m not meditating or doing something important, you know. Like working with my physical therapist.”
“Hi, Emma Rose,” Mom says, acknowledging the therapist––with her first and last name oddly enough––who has worked with both of her sons over the years, helping us through various injuries. But make no mistake, her focus is on me. “You know, Austin, I’d love to know why your sweet new neighbor who we just spoke to is outside of her house, standing under a hose cleaning mud off herself and wishing all the evils of the underworld on you and your kin?”
“Yeah,” Levi agrees, waltzing into the room behind her. “Since we’re your kin, we need to know why we’re being cursed.” He sees I have company and waves. “Hey, Emma.”
Emma’s hands stop moving. I open one eye only to find her looking at me and shaking her head. “I’m gonna give y’all a few minutes to talk this over. Holler when you’re ready.”
I push myself so I’m sitting upright when Mom parks herself in front of me wearing her sternest expression. “I’m serious, Austin Leonardo Porter. What has that girl done to you?”
I wince hearing the use of my middle name. This means she’s really mad, and it also means that Levi is due to start laughing.
“Leonardo,” Levi begins on cue. “Like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.”
“Shush,” Mom says, not even looking at him. She points one long finger my way. “I want to know why you were in such a mood today that you verbally assaulted your new neighbor and then covered her in mud?”
“Like a pig.” Levi is still smirking. I can see his mug over my mother’s shoulder, but she won’t turn around. So she has no idea what I’m dealing with—sibling superiority of the worst kind. “Maybe we should have called you ‘Peppa’ or ‘Porky’ and not Leonardo.”
“Maybe you should…” I start to tell him off, but the moment I flex my hand and try to get off the table, Mom places her hand on my shoulder and firmly puts me back into place.
“Don’t you dare move. I’ve had it.”
