“She’s not my girlfriend,” I whine. These two won’t let up. The fact that I really like Georgie aside, I don’t need nor want to be teased right now. “And she’s got him coming in to do physical labor today to teach him a lesson. Speakingof which…” I glance at my watch. “I should get a shower and get ready to take him in.”
Austin rises from his seat, patting my shoulder as he walks by. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”
We watch as he goes back inside, leaving me alone with our mother again.
“That’s a lot you just shared. Moving away from here and considering not going back to play?” She puts her mug on the railing of the deck and crosses her arms. “Have you really thought about all of this and what it means?”
I nod. “I’ve done nothing but think about it, over and over. Not having Dad around when I was little meant you had to sign us up for Big Brothers Big Sisters. You did as much as you could, putting us first. I want to be the same. I want to show up for him.”
“But that doesn't mean you have to quit doing something you love,” she says, cocking her head to one side as she takes me in. “You still love playing football, right?”
I look down at my hand, where my Super Bowl ring sits on the days I choose to get it out and wear it. “That’s a question I’ve asked myself a lot lately. What do I love and what do I have passion for?” I scratch the top of my head. “I guess I’ve not had a chance to really check in with myself over it and still need to.”
“Fair enough,” she says as she nods toward the house. “I’m going to get the kid motivated to get out, and you need to get some breakfast in your body before you guys leave. You may be an adult, but I can still tell you what to do.”
I laugh as she walks back inside, leaving me on the deck thinking about football and my future.
I can see a future where I’m not at practice and not having to put my body through so much work. I want a future where I’m present for this kid, doing what Tom and Katie would have wanted me to do. Be a parent.
I’d love a future where that kid gets the best of both worlds and can be with me and have a relationship with his grandmother, and where I’m not in fear Lorna will try to get him and take him from me.
But mostly, I want a future with one particular bookstore-owning woman by my side.
FIVE
Georgie
Reaching for my second cup of coffee for the day, I keep one eye on the kid, who is currently paying his penance for his attempt at thievery last night. I don’t think any other shop owners on this street would have been as cool as I was. Since most of them are older and have been in Sweetkiss for all their lives, I’d venture as far as to say that they’re stuck in their ways and would have had Zac arrest him, done something a bit more extreme.
But that just is not who I am.
I pat myself on the back for being a bit more realistic about the situation and adaptable. I don’t talk about my past very often, not that it comes up in conversation, but I was a foster kid. That meant being shuffled from house to house when I was younger, though I got used to it. There was always a moment of sadness when I had to pack and unpack again, for the first time or two at least, but then I made it into a game.
I had to learn to be independent when I was younger out of sheer protection for myself and my wellbeing, and it’s a traitI’ve carried with me into adulthood. I don’t consider it toxic, instead I say it’s one of my best qualities. Now, did I ever resort to stealing? No. But did I consider it when I was at school and everyone else had shiny new Christmas or birthday gifts and I didn’t? Yeah. I did. I said I was adaptable, not a perfect angel.
Duncan kneels on the floor on the other side of the counter, pulling a shipment of books out of a box and stacking them by the cash register. Me, I’ve parked myself on my stool behind the counter and I’m cracking my proverbial whip.
As he places another book on top of the pile that’s growing, I put my coffee cup on the counter and point to the stack. Here comes that whip.
Turning to him, I put him in my sights. “So, Duncan, what do we do next?”Thwack.
Duncan’s big brown eyes meet mine as he shrugs in that awesome way that only kids can do, where a shrug speaks volumes. “I dunno.”
“Duncan,” I say in my best adult-in-charge voice, threading my arms across my chest tightly. I also really like his name and enjoy saying it. “I just told you the steps to doing this. You know what to do.”Thwackity thwack.
Duncan sighs, pushing his hair out of his face. I’ve watched him do that so many times today already, and it’s only been about an hour that he’s been here. The kid needs a hair tie or a haircut.
“I’m going to price the books, then put them on the table for the book signing.”
“Yes!” I exclaim, slamming my hand on the counter with such force that it causes him to jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so aggressive.”
He bends down and grabs the now-empty box, handing it to me with an air of nonchalance. “I wasn’t scared.”
I purse my lips together super tight, trying with all of my might to keep this smile from creeping across my face as it threatens to literally explore into my cheeks. “You’re funny.”
Duncan cocks his head to one side and looks at me like I’m suddenly holding something really weird. Like a chicken or an octopus. “What do you mean?”
I can read people. Like, in an empathetic way. I had someone tell me once that my empathy volume is turned all the way up and that it must be hard for me sometimes because of all the feelings I catch, and I gotta say—they’re so right. I can feel a room and its energy the moment I walk into it, and I can even vibe off the people as well. The emotion of a space can drip with weight and it affects us, as humans, and we don’t even realize it. Well, I do, but it took me a long time to understand and hone that skill.
