Page 29 of Scorching the Alien Empire
“You can leave out the man part, but I’ll take the rest,” Sandra laughs, her voice as refreshing as Mediterranean waves lapping against a cruise ship. Her smile softens, almost pleading. “But honestly, Lexie, it’s okay if we can’t do all those things. I’d be happy just exploring new places with you.” She tilts her head slightly, her gaze distant with memory. “Remember when we had nothing in that dark cell? That’s when we became real friends—when we survived withnothing. We don’t need much to be happy.”
Her words wash over me like a bucket of icy water, threatening to freeze my ambitions. My gaze falls to my wedding and goddess rings, sparkling and glowing faintly in the dim light as I spin them absently around my finger.
Could she be right? Is it better to just give up and settle for less?
No. That sounds like coping. And I refuse to cope.
“Eww, hobo logic,” I declare, standing abruptly and smoothing out the creases in my clothes. “It’s okay, Sandra, you’re just saying that because you’ve never experiencedcozy luxurybefore.” I flash her a wicked grin. “But don’t worry—you will soon.”
I whirl around with enough flair to make Jazzy seethe with envy, my hair and super-important cloak sweeping dramatically behind me.
“Lexie, wait—” Sandra’s voice cuts through, tinged with concern.
“It’s fine,” I say, glancing over my shoulder, stroking Todd’s soft rubbery body. “I just need to learn the sacred words.”
When I find and convince the creepy old Lexie-snatcher, nothing will stop me.
Chapter 7
Alexandra
Words
ThedoortoSandra’sroom hisses shut behind me, sealing me back into the cold, cavernous black marble corridor. The chill bites at my skin, so sharp it’s a wonder I can’t see my breath. It’s probably thanks to Todd. The cute little living scarf clings to me—a welcome nugget of heat and company on this derelict ship.
Despite my determination to find Ignixis, I don’t have a clue where he is. He’s like a creepy shadow that only materializes when you least expect it: in cells, ash storms, gate-crashing parties. The bathroom? Okay, the last one hasn’t happened, but I wouldn’t put it past him. I can almost picture those glowing green eyes peering from a shadowy corner while I hover over a hole Irefuseto call a toilet.
Eww.
With no better plan, I veer right, my soft boots tapping against the hard black floors. The sound echoes through the stillness, mingling with the faint hum of the ship’s machinery and Todd’s gentle, clacking snores. Together, they echo spookily through the interior like the whispers of ghosts on some haunted house ride I can’t escape and definitely didn’t pay for.
I pass a myriad of doors—all identical—seemingly endless on this massive ship. Stairwells, shrouded in shadows, break the monotony at uneven intervals. I groan, hoping I won’t have to go crawling around dust-covered floors like some tricksy little mouse hunting for moldy old cheese.
Occasionally, shimmering viewports break up the oppressive darkness, framing breathtaking vistas of the galaxy. Streaks of color ripple and pulse, painting the corridor in shifting hues—a psychedelic addict’s wet dream that feels at odds with the gloom. I pause to admire them, letting the spectacle distract me from my growing frustration.
I’ve been walking forever—or what feels like forever. And a dull ache in my lower back only fuels my building frustration. It’s my boobs fault—so big and bountiful—both a blessing and a curse. Another reason Dracoth should carry me everywhere. It’s only fair, considering he’s the one who benefits most from them.
I should’ve asked the bruised banana to show me the way, but I didn’t, and now I’m lost.
Ugh.
I sigh dramatically. They’ll probably find my body later—beautiful and tragically lifeless—starved, most likely. Todd feasting on my remains.
“Ignixis,” I call into the void, my voice bouncing off the cold walls. It’s pointless, but strangely satisfying to hear my own echo. “Come out, come out, wherever you are,” I sing-song, the words dripping with mock cheer.
Todd stirs slightly as I stroke him for comfort, jealous he can just relax while I have to do all the hard work. Maybe if I put a little leash on him, he’d know the way? Though, glancing at the sleepy scamp, he’d probably just scuttle onto my shoulder again and nap.And who could blame him?We’re both far too beautiful and gifted to struggle so pointlessly.
“Ignixis!” I shout, this time with a hint of not-so-quiet desperation. “Totally not creepy, weirdo Demon Egg-head!”
As if summoned by dark magic, distant, heavy footsteps echo through the endless corridor.
“It worked!” I exclaim, clapping my hands in delight. “You just need to say his name three times to summon him.”
I wait with bated breath as the pounding steps grow louder. A massive Klendathian silhouette emerges from the shadows, its form exaggerated by the flickering light streaming through the viewport. But as the figure steps closer, my budding joy deflates faster than a punctured balloon.
No robes. No hood. Just an armored mini-Dracoth with short brown hair and painfully boring blue eyes.
How disappointing.
