Page 61 of The Lady Who Said No to the Duke
Lists, Hal thought.Here we go.
‘Now, the date for the wedding is the first thing we must agree upon,’ his future mother-in-law declared once they were all seated.‘A Spring wedding would be delightful.April, perhaps?’
‘I had thought November,’ Hal countered.
‘November?But it is almost that now.’
‘Yes, a month’s time, I think.The twenty-seventh,’ Hal said agreeably, as though she was not staring at him, aghast.‘Then Lady Thea will have enough time to be used to the castle before Christmas.I intend celebrating Christmas and the New Year in style.’
He looked at Thea, waiting to see whether she was as horrified as her mother—in which case he had no intention of insisting—or whether, as he suspected, she would be pleased to avoid months of fuss and preparation.
‘That sounds delightful, Mama,’ she said.‘Christmas in a castle—just imagine.’
‘I am imagining making all the preparations, assembling your trousseau—all in a month,’ Lady Wiveton replied tartly.
‘I cannot assist with the trousseau,’ Hal admitted.‘But I can with everything else.I have an excellent steward, butler and housekeeper at Leaming who await your orders.I will employ a secretary to attend you here daily, or as suits you.He can relay your wishes to the castle, write invitations, run errands.Whatever you require.I would not dream of putting you to trouble over this.
‘And,’ he added, when he saw a certain yielding in the Countess’s expression, ‘I hope you will be able to join us for the festive season with as many of your family as wishto come.I am sure the boys will enjoy living in a castle for a while.’
‘I am certain that with all that help we could manage perfectly, Mama,’ Thea coaxed.
Hal was conscious of considerable relief.At least his bride-to-be was not snatching at excuses to postpone the wedding for months.Was she becoming fond of him?What a ridiculous euphemism, he told himself.He knew she liked him as a friend, he suspected she desired him—as much as a well-bred young lady might—but was she falling in love with him?
As soon as the words formed in his mind he pushed them away.Love would complicate things.Love was… It involved too many emotions.Besides, he did not want Thea to love him because he was sure he was not in love with her.Whatever that felt like…
He produced some folded sheets of paper from his inside pocket.‘Here are the names of the senior staff at the castle,’ he explained, handing them to Lady Wiveton.‘I have included a note of the number of guest bedchambers, both in the castle and in the Dower House, which is presently unoccupied.I shall now go and see about finding some suitable candidates for your secretary, Lady Wiveton, and will send you details so you may interview them at your convenience.
‘Before I leave, may I beg the indulgence of a few minutes alone with Lady Thea?’
Lady Wiveton looked up from the papers he had given her.‘Yes, yes, of course, Duke.’
‘Oh, please call me Hal,’ he said with a warm smile.
She positively fluttered.‘Thea dear, the small sitting room would be perfect for you to, er, converse with Hal.But perhaps for not more than fifteen minutes,’ she added.
‘Yes, Mama.’Thea stood and waited while he shook hands with her parents, then led him out, across to the rear of the hall and into a room that he guessed was used by herself and her mother for reading, sewing and relaxing in the absence of visitors.
Thea moved a sewing basket off an armchair and sat down opposite.
Hal sat, crossed one leg over the other and leaned back.‘Are you content?’
‘With the date?Yes, perfectly.I confess that I am not looking forward to Mama’s endless planning and her campaign of shopping and the less time that takes, the better.’
‘I meant that, of course, but also with our marriage, Thea.’
Her smile vanished.‘You wish not to proceed?’
‘I very much wish to proceed.But do you?You do not seem to be entirely happy about this.’
‘What do you expect?’she retorted, startling him.‘We had decided to forget that preposterous betrothal and now, thanks to the plotting of a venal brother and his spiteful sister, and the fear of a flock of sharp-tongued gossips, we are forced into marriage.’
‘You have not forgiven me, then?Thea, I meant it for the best when I hid my identity from you and I badly misjudged matters, but I swear, on my honour, never to deceive you again.’
‘There is a problem with forgiveness,’ she said, almost to herself.‘On being told that he is forgiven, the sinner, shall we say, feels cleansed and much better.The injured party still has the memory and the hurt of the fault, or the betrayal or the lie.Forgiveness does not make that go away.
‘Understanding helps.I believe you when you say you thought it for the best.But then I am left with the knowledgethat I am marrying a man who has made such an error.Of course I accept your word of honour, that will always be the case.But how can I trust your future judgement of what will wound me?I must learn to do that.Learn to trust.’
Hal felt himself flinch.That hurt.Badly.The fact that he had let himself believe that forgiveness made things better for both of them was like a slap in the face.What had he been about, letting himself wonder about love, when what he needed was a wife who could offer him forgiveness?And that was a long way from love.
