Page 45 of Not Quite a Lady
Through the thin silk of her afternoon gown his hand burned on her breast and she arched into it, the nipple hard and aching. Then her skin was exposed to the air, to the rough heat of his palm and he bent his head to take her in his mouth, sending wild sensation lancing through her belly.
Lily writhed beneath him, her hands frantic to touch him as he touched her, pulling at his neck cloth, tearing at shirt buttons until her fingertips met skin, yanking at the linen until she could flatten her palm on the springing curls of his chest.
Instinctively she shifted beneath his weight, adjusting her body to the length and weight of his and suddenly aware of the strength of his arousal and where this was leading. And, she realised, she did not care what the consequences were, despitethe ripple of fear which ran through her at the thought of joining with that much maleness.
She loved Jack, this was the one thing she could give him which had nothing to do with money.
His lips trailed upwards, up her throat, to her temple, to kiss her closed lids. And his hands were no longer restraining her, but lifting her to hold her against his chest as he sat up.
‘Oh God, Lily. My cursed temper.’
‘Jack?’ She wriggled in his hold.
‘Just sit still,please, while I still have some control left.’ His voice sounded muffled, she could feel the warmth of his breath in her hair. Then she was sitting by herself on the bed and he was pulling the screen back to shield her.
‘Is your gown torn?’
Shaken, Lily glanced down, her fingers fumbling with buttons. ‘Not torn. Jack–’
‘Lily, for once in your life, just listen. I am going down to the stable yard now and I will not come back until you have gone. There is a brush near the mirror and a cloak over the back of the chair if your gown is too crushed.’
‘But, Jack, what is wrong? Iwantedyou to make love to me.’
Through the crack in the screen she could see him stripping off his torn shirt. The sight of his naked torso took the breath from her lungs.
‘For Heaven’s sake, woman – accept this is the one thing you know nothing about! This is not the price of tea, or the weather in the Spice Islands or import duties at the docks or the latest fashion in bonnets. I should never have touched you, never have kissed you. I am no better than that lout Randall or his friend Dovercourt.
‘No,’ she cried, her hand on the screen. ‘Iwantedyou to make love to me. You stopped even though you did not have to.’
‘You have no idea. None. I am leaving today.’
Lily stood, listening to the sound of his feet on the stairs down into the carriage shed.
I am going to be sick.
The storm of arousal was still washing through her body as though she had drunk too much, and her knees were trembling. She pressed her face to the small window overlooking the mews and saw Jack stride towards the pump, gesturing to one of the grooms to work it.
He bent his whole upper body under the cold gush of water and she shuddered in sympathy at the thought of the temperature.
As though to wash me away.What can I do? He will not take my money, he will not take my body and he will not take my hand.
For the first time in her life Lily could see no way through, no answers, no plan that would make things right. Her money was no use to her now. There were not even tears. She felt as though she would never cry again, that there was nothing left inside her but a hollow shell.
She turned from the window and swept the cloak around her, pulling up the hood. What would the staff think?
Lily turned back at the sounds of bustle in the mews. Her trustees must be going, their carriages called for. If she went now, while Fakenham and the footmen were busy in the hall, she could slip in and up the backstairs.
She looked around the room, trying to print the memory of Jack’s presence on her mind. His neck cloth lay at her feet where she had tossed it. She picked it up and hurried for the stairs.
Chapter Eleven
Jack shook off the worst of the water and accepted a piece of towelling from the bemused groom to rub himself dry with.
What the man thought of a gentleman suddenly appearing in the middle of the afternoon and sticking his head under the pump he was too well trained to betray.
Jack made a business of rubbing his hair to kill time, then went back up the stairs to the door into the studio. All was quiet inside. Had Lily gone?
Best to give her time and not to risk a meeting. It was hard to accept he would never see her again. He sat down on the top step, leaned his back against the scratched panels and stared down into the dusty congestion of the coach shed. What had happened to them that things had come to this?
