Page 49 of The Marriage Debt
That was her debt paid. Katherine tried to catch Theo’s eye, but he was attending to the steward. How did she feel about it? Part of her was distressed and embarrassed that Theo had beenput in a position where he felt he must pay it, part was relieved that the interest was no longer accumulating. Now all she had to do was to convince Theo that she should repay him. Not an easy task, she acknowledged ruefully, forcing herself to listen to Mr Wilkinson again.
‘And the other bills and dunning letters I sent as a summary to the agent asking him to settle those as well, with all speed.’
Katherine was aware of Theo’s sudden movement, swiftly suppressed, and saw from the expression on the steward’s face that this was a subject not to be discussed in her presence. For a moment she was puzzled, then light dawned.Theo has paid Philip’s debts as well. She had left the bills behind in London knowing she could never hope to pay them and feeling that, finally, her brother must acknowledge his own responsibilities. Theo must have taken them, brought them with him to Northumberland.
Why? she puzzled, ignoring Mr Wilkinson’s rapid change of subject. Then, with a wave of shame, she realised that Philip was Theo’s brother-in-law now, so he had decided that no connection of the Lydgates’ must be in a position to be publicly exposed for his debts.
She could say nothing here, not in front of the steward. Feeling sick she forced her attention back to the conversation between the men.
‘…the Settlements,’ Mr Wilkinson was saying. ‘I have drawn up something based on the usual provisions – widowhood, remarriage, children and so forth. If you would care to scrutinise it, my lord, and make any notes of changes you wish made, I will have it notarised as soon as possible.’
Katherine opened her mouth, realised this was another argument it was impossible to have before an audience and shut it with a snap.Children.The thought of Theo’s children made her feel slightly dizzy. There was nothing, other than hearinghim tell her he loved her, that she wanted more, she realised. And all she had to do was to stop protesting, give in and allow the marriage to stand.
Chapter Seventeen
‘And her ladyship’s allowance,’ Mr Wilkinson continued, clearly unaware that one of his audience was fighting a battle with her conscience just the other side of his desk. ‘I have made arrangements with Coutts bank as you directed, my lord. I have a portion of the first quarter here, my lady, and I have put in a note with details of how you may draw on the balance at your convenience’ He handed a fat packet to Katherine who took it with an automatic murmur of thanks.
Conscience won. Katherine pushed the thought of children with Theo’s eyes out of her mind and thought about the money instead. Another debt. Her instinct was to hand it back to Theo the moment they were alone. Common sense told her that she must pay Jenny and John and that was more important than her pride. She must buy some clothes for the time she was here, because she had to present a correct appearance in a ducal household. And when she departed she must leave vails for the servants. None of this made the slightest difference to the way she was feeling. Katherine realised she was angry, but who with – herself, Philip or Theo, she could not analyse.
Finally Theo was standing, thanking the steward again, holding the door for her. Katherine said all that was proper, managed a pleasant smile and swept out into the passage. The moment the door closed behind them she rounded on Theo.
‘You have paid Phil’s debts. How could you do such a thing?’ Her voice broke and she fought to get a grip on her feelings. ‘And aSettlement. The marriage is going to be annulled – why is there a Settlement?’
‘We cannot speak out here.’ Theo took her arm and guided her through a door into an empty room which appeared to be part of the estate office. Stacks of dusty ledgers stood on the tables andshelves of dockets and bundles of papers lined the walls.
‘I had not intended telling you about your brother’s debts yet,’ he admitted.
‘Indeed?’ Katherine said icily. ‘Did youeverintend telling me?’ He opened his mouth to speak and she swept on, ‘I know why you feel you must pay them, of course: the embarrassment of a debtor as a brother in law. Do you think I am not as ashamed of it as you, to know that I risk bringing scandal to a household such as this?’ Her anger began to fail her and her voice shook. ‘I think that perhaps I could have borne anything, even his deceit over the loan, better than the humiliation of this.’
Theo stared at her, his face appalled. ‘Kat, never say that. Sweetheart…’ Then she was held against his chest and he was stroking her hair. ‘Kat, think. He does not know who you married and no-one in London knows my true identity. I have no need to protect the family against the small scandal he might evoke, even when the connection is known. For goodness sake, Cousin Hereward has been in debtor’s prison three times, my great uncle believes himself to be the Czar of all the Russias and I have earned my bread playing cards and taken the King’s shilling as an outcast. And that is just a sample of our family scandals. Your brother’s foolishness is nothing against that.’
It was seductively pleasant to be held by strong arms against a broad chest and to be reassured. Katherine tried to tell herself that under the circumstances anyone offering comfort would be welcome, but she couldn’t deceive herself. This was the man she loved holding her, resting his cheek against her hair, gently stroking the nape of her neck. All she wanted was to turn up her face to his, to kiss and be kissed.
Resolutely she disentangled herself from his arms and moved away. ‘What is a scandal in a family of lower degree is merely eccentricity in a ducal household, I understand that,’ she pointed out. ‘But I feel so ashamed.’
‘But why? To be angry and disappointed with him, that I can understand, but ashamed?’
‘I am his elder sister,’ Katherine said helplessly, recalling the hours she had spent agonising over how to help Philip break away from his self-indulgence, make him face up to reality and his obligations. ‘I should have been able to influence him for good.’
‘Impossible,’ Theo said firmly. ‘Nothing you could have said or done would have helped. An elder brother might have been able to steer him right.’ He stopped abruptly and Katherine saw his eyes darken. ‘I should have been here for Robert, it is my good fortune that he has a goodness of character I never had.’
Arguing against that was not going to help, she saw quite clearly. Theo was going to have to deal with his guilt at staying away for so long in his own way. ‘He had your father,’ she said encouragingly.
Theo grinned. ‘Fortunately Robert appears to have exhibited none of the tendencies which would cause our father to deal with him as he did me.’
‘Do you mind very much?’ she asked.
‘No, if you mean do I resent it. I was hot at hand, thoroughly wild, thought I was in love – which coming on top of a fairly convincing showing as a rakehell must have seemed highly improbable. Father, not unreasonably, put his foot down and I was in no mood to accept it.’ He shrugged. ‘It was an interesting six years. Now, shall we go riding?’
‘Not until you explain these Settlements,’ Katherine said firmly, planting herself between Theo and the door.
‘Wilkinson will explain them better than I can’
‘I do not mean that and you know it, Theo. Why have you settled anything on me when we are getting the marriage annulled?’
‘Weare doing no such thing.Youmay be if I cannot persuadeyou otherwise. And what would happen if I fell off my horse tomorrow and broke my neck?’
‘Exactly what would have happened if you had fallen off a scaffold and broken it,’ Katherine said crisply. ‘I will go and earn my own way in the world.’ She fought against letting her feelings show on her face. ‘But I suppose I need the pin money at the moment, so I will simply add the allowance to the amount I already owe you.’
