Page 5 of The Society Catch
It was strange, almost like looking at her mother through glass, or as though she was an actor in a play.
‘I cannot believe what I was seeing. What is the meaning of this? You have been flirting, waltzing – and to crown it all, I find you out here with such a man. And to make things even worse, I was told where I could find you, and with whom, by Lady Wigham.’
Joanna shrugged. None of it mattered. ‘I was bored.’
‘Bored?’ Her mother peered at her in the half-light. ‘Are you sickening for something, Joanna? First your obstinacy this morning, now this.’
‘Sickening? Oh yes, I expect I am, but there’s no cure for it,’ she said lightly. She did indeed feel very odd. The aching pain of Giles’s loss was there somewhere, deep down where she did nothave to look at it yet, but on top of the pain was a rather queasy sense of excitement, the beginnings of a dreadful headache and the feeling that absolutely nothing would ever matter again.
Her mother took her arm in a less than sympathetic grip and began to walk firmly towards the door. ‘We are going home this minute.’
‘I cannot, Mama,’ Joanna said. ‘I am dancing the next waltz with–’
‘No one. Home, my girl,’ Mama said grimly. ‘And straight to bed. Your father and I will speak to you in the morning.’
The dreadful headache was there waiting for her the next day when she woke, as was the hideous emptiness where all her plans had once been. It was as though the walls of a house had vanished, leaving the furniture standing around pointlessly in space.
Joanna rubbed her aching head, realising shakily that she must be suffering from the after-effects of too much champagne. How much had she drunk? Hazily she counted five glasses. Could she have possibly drunk that much? She could recall being marched firmly from the ball with Mama’s excuses to their friends ringing in her ears. ‘The heat I am afraid, it has brought on such a migraine.’ But the carriage ride home was a blur, with only the faintest memory of being lectured, scolded and sent upstairs the moment they arrived.
Her head hurt so. Where was Mary with her morning chocolate? The door opened to reveal Mama, a tea cup in her hand.
‘So you are awake, are you?’ she observed grimly as Joanna struggled to sit up against the pillows. ‘I have brought you some tea, I thought it might be better for you than chocolate.’ She put the cup into Joanna’s hands and went to fling the curtains wide, ignoring the yelp of anguish from the bed as the light floodedinto the room. ‘Well, what have you got to say for yourself?’
‘Have you said anything to Papa?’ Joanna drank the tea gratefully. Her mouth felt like the soles of her shoes and her stomach revolted at the faint smell of breakfast cooking that the opening door had allowed into the room. Surely she could not have a hangover?
‘No,’ Mama conceded. ‘Your papa is very busy at the moment and I do not want to add another worry for him on top of your refusal yesterday to receive dear Rufus. Unless, that is, I do not receive a satisfactory explanation for last night.’
‘Champagne, Mama,’ Joanna said reluctantly. ‘I had no idea it was so strong.’ She eyed her fulminating parent and added, ‘It tasted so innocuous.’
‘Champagne?No wonder you were behaving in such a manner. Have I not warned you time and again to drink nothing except orgeat and lemonade?’
‘Yes, Mama. I am sorry, Mama.’I am sorry I drank too much, her new, rebellious inner voice said.I will know better next time, just a glass or two for that lovely fizzing feeling.
‘I had thought of forbidding you any further parties until we go down to Brighton for the summer, but I am reluctant to cause more talk by having you vanish from the scene, especially as I know the earl will be in Town for at least another fortnight,’ Mama continued. ‘Fortunately there are only minor entertainments for the rest of the month. I hope the headache you undoubtedly have will be a lesson to you, my girl.’
She got up and walked to the door. ‘I must say, Joanna, this has proved greatly disappointing to me. I had been so proud of you. I can only hope it is a momentary aberration. As for Rufus Carstairs, I will have to tell him you are indisposed and will not be able to receive him for a day or two.’
On that ominous announcement the door closed firmly behind her and Joanna curled up in a tight ball of misery.Finally she emerged feeling ashamed of herself. It was very good of Mama not to punish her for what had happened, she fully appreciated that. And dissipation only made one feel ill, it appeared. Perhaps she should return to normal, if only to prevent her mother ever speaking to her in that hurt tone of voice again.
It was all hopeless of course. She was twenty one years old and as good as on the shelf. How could she bear to marry another man when she would always be in love with Giles? Still, spinsters had to behave with modesty and decorum, so she might as well continue like that and become used to it.
That pious resolve lasted precisely two days, in fact until the rout party at Mrs Jameson’s and her next encounter with the Earl of Clifton. Mrs Jameson’s parties were always popular although, as she admitted to Mrs Fulgrave when the ladies were standing talking half way through the evening, it did seem rather flat after the Duchess’s grand ball. Mama, who repeatedly told Joanna that she could still not think of the ball without a shudder, agreed but pointed out that anything on that scale must induce a sense of let-down afterwards.
Joanna was certainly feeling that sensation. The combination of being on her best behaviour, and knowing that many of those present this evening had observed her behaving in quite the opposite way, was oppressive. She tried hard not to imagine that people were talking about her behind her back, but could not convince herself. It became much worse when she realised that Lady Suzanne Hall was among the young ladies present.
Joanna had never had more than a passing acquaintanceship with Suzanne who was at the centre of a group of her friends, all talking and giggling together. Knowing that she was going to regret it, but unable to resist, Joanna strolled across and attached herself to a neighbouring group so she could hear whatwas being said behind her.
There was a lot of laughter, several gasps of surprise and then one young lady said, ‘Colonel Gregory? Suzy, you cunning thing! What does your papa say?’
‘As it is Giles, why what could he say? He has always been against it, but darling Giles issopersuasive.’
‘Oh, you lucky thing. I saw him at the Duchess’s ball and I thought he was so dashing and handsome.’
Joanna moved abruptly away. So, he had asked Lord Olney for Suzanne’s hand in marriage and the Marquis had agreed. Now all she could look forward to was the announcement. Joanna scooped a glass of champagne from the tray carried by a passing footman and drank it defiantly before she realised that the Earl of Clifton had entered the room and was being greeted by his hostess. Joanna took a step backwards towards a screen but it was too late. He must have enquired after her and Mrs Jameson was scanning the room and nodding in her direction.
Regretting her height made her so visible Joanna slipped her empty glass onto a side table and prepared to make the best of it. He could hardly ask her to marry him in the middle of a crowded reception.
She watched him make his way across the room, critically comparing him to Giles. Rufus was of slightly above medium height with an elegant figure and a handsome, aquiline, face. His hair was very blond, his eyes a distinctive shade of blue and Joanna suspected he knew exactly how attractive he was to look at. He was also always immaculately dressed in an austere fashion.
