Page 22 of The Society Catch
‘Hmm,’ Joanna murmured, depressed. ‘I know exactly what you mean. When one is frightened for someone the fear is all there is. The moment they are safe you can be angry at how foolish they have been. I remember how I felt when William was stuck in the big oak in Green Park. Once the keepers had got him down safely I could have boxed his ears, yet only a minute before I was frantic with worry that he would fall out and break his neck.’
‘I think it is unlikely that you will escape without a lecture,’ Giles said, ‘but I am sure your parents will soon forgive and forget. And no-one else in Society but the Tasboroughs knows of this adventure, so you will be able to emerge next Season as though nothing had occurred. Although,’ he added frankly, ‘do you not think it would be a good idea not to strive to be quite such a pattern-card of perfection? It must be very wearing foryou, never allowing yourself to kick over the traces.’
‘Young ladies are not permitted to kick over the traces, as you put it,’ Joanna retorted. ‘Look at the fuss it causes.’
‘I meant indulging in the odd bit of mischief and high spirits, not running away and being kidnapped,’ Giles countered. ‘Suzanne is always up to something or another and it does her reputation no harm.’
‘I am sure if I were as beautiful, well-connected and rich as Lady Suzanne,’ Joanna snapped, ‘I could get away with almost anything. We lesser mortals have to be more careful.’
‘But not to the point of becoming a by-word for your virtues. It is a testimony to your character that your reputation does not result in jealousy amongst the other debutantes and that you have so many friends.’
‘I am sure those who do not think so well of me will be most amused to see me take part in a third Season, still unspoken for,’ Joanna said bitterly. ‘I never intended to behave in any way to make other debutantes seem less correct. I was only trying…’ she broke off. It was so easy to talk to Giles that she was in danger of saying far too much and betraying herself to him.
‘Trying?’ he prompted.
‘Trying to make sure I would be a perfect wife.’For you, only for you,her inner voice repeated.
‘Ah. The mystery man. Are you so sure he wants perfection?’ Giles appeared annoyed rather than curious.
‘He deserves it,’ she said hotly. ‘He needs a wife with perfect social skills because it is very important in his position.’ Only now of course Giles had voluntarily ended his glittering career. Now he had no need of a Society hostess who also understood the army, only a well-bred, suitable wife and in Lady Suzanne he most certainly had that, whatever his father thought.
‘Who an earth is he, this paragon who must have such an impeccable wife? A Duke? A leading politician? A diplomatist?’
‘I am not going to tell you. It is hopeless now anyway.’ Joanna took a mouthful of her cooling coffee and refused to look at Giles.
‘Then stop trying to be perfect. Relax and enjoy next Season for a change.’
‘To what end, pray? To put off being on the shelf for a few more months?’
She realised that they were glaring at each other across the table. It hurt that Giles seemed to care about what was troubling her. His indifference would have been easier to bear. And he must care to become so involved and angry about it.
Then his expression lightened and he smiled at her. ‘Come now, it is far too nice a day to be inside squabbling. Squire Gedding has no need of me this morning and I have a treat for you. You do ride, I assume?’
‘I love to ride. But ride what?’
‘Did I tell you that part of my scheme now is to breed horses on the estate? No? Well that is what I intend to do. It will mean that I am not spending all my time breathing down the General’s neck, and I think it might be a satisfying undertaking. I was talking to the Squire about it and he tells me a neighbour of his has a fine mare he wants to sell. He is bringing it over this morning for me to look at and I thought you might like to ride so I can see its paces.’
‘Oh, yes please.’ Joanna jumped up, then recollected her small stock of clothes. ‘But I have no habit. And what about a saddle?’
‘Mrs Gedding tells me her daughter’s old habit is here, and the saddle she herself used when she still kept a riding horse is in the stables. Listen, I imagine that is the neighbour now.’
The breakfast parlour windows opened out onto the side of the house where the carriage drive led to the stables and sure enough Giles’s sharp ears had picked up the sound of hooves. Aman on a black hunter came into sight leading a pretty grey mare towards the yard.
Mrs Gedding appeared in the doorway. ‘Good morning, my dear. Have you had enough breakfast? I expect the Colonel has told you all about James Pike’s grey mare. If you would like to ride her the girl has put out Jennie’s old habit on your bed.’
Joanna thanked her with a smile and ran upstairs to change, her heart pounding. The encounter with Giles over the breakfast table had left her feeling flustered and almost frightened. But she had no opportunity to reflect alone. The maid was waiting and Joanna had to submit to being unbuttoned and undressed, standing patiently while the habit was tossed over her head. The girl discovered with a cluck of displeasure that a section of hem had dropped and one button was loose. Joanna nodded absently when asked if she would mind waiting while the maid carried out a rapid repair.
Joanna sat on the edge of the bed while she rapidly whipped stitches along the hem and shrugged out of the jacket for the button to be replaced without really being aware of what was going on. Giles, and her feelings for him, seemed to fill her mind to the exclusion of everything. She found she liked him so much it was a shock. She had known almost from the moment she met him that she loved him, but now she knew that she had fallen in love with theideaof the man, not the man himself. Perhaps if she had never seen him again after that evening at the Duchess’s ball she would have gradually fallen out of love with her memory of him. But now fate, and her own foolishness, had thrown them together so closely that there was no escaping the impact of his personality on her.
And not just his personality. Joanna had never felt so aware of a man before. Even the thrilling sensation of being held in his arms as they waltzed paled beside the effect of being so close to him daily. She was getting to know the tiniest details:the impatient way he pushed his hair off his forehead, the black flecks in his grey eyes which turned them dark when he was angry, the way he would tug at one earlobe when he was thinking, the way he would throw his head back and laugh, the scent of Russian Leather cologne.
She had fallen in love with an heroic ideal of a man, now she was in love with the real thing. And not just in love. Shewantedhim, she realised with a sudden shock which sent the colour flooding into her cheeks. Wanted his kisses, wanted to be held in his arms.
‘I’m sorry you had to wait in this warm room,’ the maid said apologetically. ‘You’re quite flushed, Miss.’
Joanna cast a harried glance at the mirror and tugged down the veil on her hat. ‘It will soon pass, thank you.’ She took the gloves the girl handed her and ran downstairs to where Giles was patiently waiting in the hallway talking to Mrs Gedding. ‘I am sorry to have kept you,’ she apologised. ‘The hem needed a few stitches.’
The mare had been saddled up and was standing quietly in the little paddock which opened off the stable yard, a groom at her head. A short man in a buff coat was talking to the head groom but broke off when he saw Mrs Gedding and her guests. Introductions were made and Giles ducked under the rails to look at the mare.
