Page 20 of Perfectly Petite Shorts
His lips parted while his eyes comically widened. “You…” He pointed a finger at his face. “This looks okay to you? Are you color blind?” He threw up his hands and arms, mimicking a bird in flight. “Un-fucking-believable. I bought a color-enhancing charm from a warlock that can’t tell red from green.”
I could go with that, or I could be an idiot and say, “I can see color just fine, and I think you got exactly what you asked for.” Yeah, I think we all knew which path I took.
“Fine?You thinkthislooks fine?” Given his already cherry-pink cheeks, I couldn’t tell if the guy’s face was flushed or not. I could only guess the answer given his level of anger. “I look like a fool. Worse than that. I can’t go out in public like this.”
“If you’re standing on my doorstep, harassing me, then it looks like going out in public isn’t a problem.”
His hands fisted. “You did not just say that.”
“I most certainly did.” I valiantly defended myself and the shotty charm I’d made. Honestly, the were-flamingo was lucky a little extra color was all he’d gotten. It wasn’t like I was askilledwarlock. “Don’t get your feathers in a ruffle. It’s not like the color change is permanent.”I hoped. “The effects should wear off in a week. Maybe two.”If he was lucky.
“I can’t go around looking like this for a day, let alone seven.”
“Or fourteen,” I unhelpfully answered. When he opened his mouth again, I waved him off and said, “Take a vacation.”
“I can’t fucking go anywhere,” he ground out.
“A staycation then. Everybody’s got stuff they need to get done around the house. Things you’ve been putting off. Now would be a great time to do that.”
Who knew were-flamingos could get so angry. “I purchased the charm so I’d look better for my upcoming reunion. That’s in three days.”
Sweat slid between my shoulders. “Well, they certainly won’t be able to see the gray creeping into your feathers.”
If looks could kill…I suppose I would have been dead a long time ago and saved this were-flamingo the hassle.
“Fine,” he spat. “If you won’t fix this, then I want my money back.”
It was only a matter of time before he made that demand. “Ah, ah, ah.” I waggled a finger back and forth. “No refunds. You were made aware of that at the time of purchase.”
Dear Gaia, I thought his head might explode. “That was before I knew what a shoddy warlock you are. It was a simple color-enhancement charm. Every warlock can manage that.”
“And I didmanageit, as you so politely said.” My own anger was bubbling up. But it wasn’t anger towards my client. No, my anger was much more insidious and damaging. It had a single target and that was my pride. No matter how hard I tried, my charms always went sideways, typically overperforming instead of under. One would think that wouldn’t be so bad, but a single look at the nearly magenta were-flamingo filling my door told a different story.
With a shrug, I said, “You get what you pay for.” There was a reason I didn’t charge a lot for my charms.
His mouth slammed shut, teeth clicking. Pointing an accusing finger at my chest, he said, “I’m reporting you to the Warlock Council.”
My smile was genuinely amused. “Go ahead.” The council didn’t give a shit.
He pulled back and made a bigger threat. “And what about Fairy law?”
My heart momentarily skipped a beat but soon relaxed. “They’ve got bigger concerns than charms that do no physical harm.”
“You call thisno physical harm?”
“You’re not injured, and it’s not permanent.”Please, Gaia, let that be true. “If you want to involve Fairy in this, be my guest. But when that shit goes sideways, don’t come crying to me.” One did not involve Fairy in minor disputes, and even when something major went down, it was good to think longand hard before running Fairy’s direction. Fairies didn’t think like the rest of us, and theirjusticewas swift, unforgiving, and without mercy.
I couldn’t tell if my client paled or not. I could see that my words took the wind out of his sail. “You’re really not going to do anything about this, are you?”
I internally squirmed. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to help, more like I couldn’t. I was afraid that any attempt I made would make the situation worse. Honest to Gaia, he was better off letting the charm run its course.
“You’re an asshole, and I’m leaving you a terrible review,” he said before turning on his heel and storming down the hall. I leaned out, watching him turn and head down the stairs. One of my neighbors was coming up the stairs, their eyes wide and round as they took in the bright pink blur that flew by.
Was I an asshole? Probably. Not that I particularly wanted to be, but sometimes life didn’t give you a lot of options.
“Is that the way he’s supposed to look?” my neighbor asked as they walked by.
“Fuck off, Aaron.” I slammed the door on his smirking face. Shoulders slumped and feeling like the shit on someone’s shoe, I made my way to my crappy loveseat and dropped down, wincing when an errant spring poked my ass. The truth was that I was a shitty excuse for a warlock. I lived in a shitty apartment, and I had an even shittier reputation.
