Page 78 of Dr. Stone
I laughed at how accurate that assessment was.
“Hey, man. I understand what you’re dealing with, but don’t let it crawl into your bones. It’s a gut punch, but you can’t give it the power to take the rest of your day from you.”
“Thanks. It usually doesn’t grab me until later, but I have plans with Andie and her son on my sailboat tomorrow, so I hope that will consume my mind instead,” I answered him.
“Feel it now, buddy, trust me,” he said. “Don’t let it pop up whenever it wants. That’s what Jake does and why he’s unapproachable for a day. He forces himself to cope, then he moves on. You need to train your emotions to follow your Chief,” he grinned. “I know everyone deals differently, but you should try to let this one go tonight. You don’t want this to bleed onto Andie and the baby.”
“You’re right,” I said. “I think I’m going to drive this shit out of my system. I’m not letting work get in the way of trying to make her fall in love with me for the hundredth time.”
“Fall in love, eh?” he smiled, daringly. “Looks like we have some catching up to do,” he patted me on my shoulder. “I need to get up to neuro. Go and drive it out of your system, and make sure the kid is asleep on the boat when you two fuck,” he laughed, then turned to leave.
“Thanks, man,” I said, smiling to myself.
By the time I pulled out of the hospital garage, the sky was deepening to a deep blue shade of twilight. I slid into my Ferrari—the one I drove when I needed something extra, such as luck, adrenaline, and distraction—and gunned it down towards PCH.
The engine roared, the wind tearing through me, but that damn loss still clung like a thick, gloomy fog. For a moment, just before my red light turned green, I thought about canceling on Andie tomorrow. I was terrified I’d be edgy and dickish because sometimes I was when I couldn’t shake the weight of failure pressing down on me.
But I didn’t. I guess this would be the real and raw part of being in a relationship. Andie needed to see this side of me to know what it meant to be with someone in my line of work. What if she didn’t like dealing with the surgeon when he was forced to deal with heavy losses and feeling like a failure? It was part of who I was, and I needed her to see that.
Then there was Brandon. Just a year old—too young to know what I did for a living, and too young to care that I’d failed to save someone’s father today. But he wasn’t too young to feel joy on a boat, to giggle when a seagull flew too close, or to fall asleep on his mom’s chest while the waves rocked us. I smiled at the image, hoping I’d be lucky enough to see that beautiful moment tomorrow.
I wasn’t about to take those moments away from them or me because I couldn’t shake off a hard day. Fuck that.
When I reached my house, the sun was dancing with the horizon, but I chose not to go inside. I didn’t need the silence or the weight of today consuming me within those walls. Instead, I headed straight down to the dock.
My sailboat, myotherlady, Via Her, waited like she always did…steady, strong, and forever mine.
I stepped aboard barefoot, welcoming the familiar groan of the polished teak deck beneath me. I moved on instinct, checking the sails, coiling the lines, and making sure everything was perfect. Below deck, I double-checked the fridge, which was newly stocked with sliced strawberries, soft cheese cubes, fresh rolls, and those ridiculous toddler pouches I’d bought just in case Brandon didn’t feel like eating anything else. I’d even purchased and packed a tiny sunhat and a cute baby life vest. Jesus, I wasthatguy now.
Back up on deck, I leaned against the rail and watched the last of the sun’s light as it melted into the sea. The ache in mychest was still there, dull and constant, but at least the edge had softened.
Tomorrow, I’d watch Andie smile in the sun and Brandon wobbling around the deck like he owned the place.
Tomorrow was a second chance at something good, and those refreshing thoughts were enough to move me forward with confidence and hope for a better day after this day went to fucking hell.
THIRTY-SIX
Andie
The sun was barely upwhen I reached the docks and spotted Jace’s boat floating like it had been pulled straight from a dream and anchored in real life. Growing up around these boats, I knew a sexy one when I saw her, and Jace’s was just that. Sleek, classic, and quietly commanding.
I easily picked out that it was a Hinckley. It wasn’t flashy; however, it was elite in a way that only people who knew boats understood. It was handcrafted, timeless, and the type of vessel you didn’t buy to show off. You bought boats like this because you appreciated mastery. So,of course,Jace would own this boat. This sexy lady was all him…steady lines, quiet power, and details you wouldn’t notice unless you looked closely.
Hinckley boats had this quiet elegance, understated on the surface but impossibly deep once you got close. A lot like how I was starting to feel about Jace since he stayed over the other night. Instead of us fucking, we ended up sharing this strange kind of intimacy that I was pretty damn sure would’ve scaredmost men off. However, as I walked up to his beautiful boat, I was reminded that the guy was stillin it to win it.
I adjusted Brandon on my hip as we approached the boat. The poor little guy was teething again. He was grumpy and had already tried to fling half his banana into the marina parking lot. I almost canceled on Jace, but since Brandon didn’t have a fever, I decided to go. I figured maybe if sailing was in his blood, and it might soothe him the same way it always did for me.
“There’s my girl and my favorite little dude,” Jace said, bringing my and Brandon’s attention to his enthusiastic smile.
“Here we are,” I said, smiling at Jace, who was standing on the deck barefoot. He looked sexy as hell in his board-shorts with a hoodie pushed up to his elbows, and his hair still a little wet.
“You look more gorgeous than ever,” he smiled, and then, to both of our surprise, Brandon grunted and reached out for Jace to take him.
It was the most adorable thing for this mama’s heart to see her son’s tiny little hands wide open and trying to claim Jace like he was already his.
“I must say, I’m quite impressed with your skills in capturing this little man’s favor,” I chuckled as I passed Brandon over the rail into Jace’s arms while I climbed aboard after him.
Jace took him as if it were any other day. “Must be your fascination with those medical articles I was reading to you the other night,” he said as I watched a new charming expression cross his face. “I have a killer Batman vest for you, and a matching sun hat,” Jace continued, focusing solely on my son.
