Page 47 of First Bite
Cole’s lips tightened. “I’m sorry your life was a shitty one. Wasn’t there anyone there for you before we pulled you out of it?”
“Grandma.”Damn it.I did my best to keep my tears from welling up in my eyes. “My grandma. She was there for me. She died not long ago, leaving me all alone to care for a grown woman. Grandma was the one who acted like a mother to me. My own mother sure as hell didn’t.”
“I know you have thought that you could have a normal life with your mom finally being clean and sober—”
“It wouldn’t have worked,” I admitted as I threw the contents of the salad I’d cut in a large wooden bowl. “I know that. I think I’d probably need counseling of my own to even know how to deal with someone in recovery. I just—I realize a lot of my feelings came from a place of not really accepting that any of this is real. I know now that there isn’t much that I can control, so I have to let it go.”
“What’s important is that you can embrace it, but if you’re just accepting these emotions because they make you feel good, that’s not healthy either.”
“What the fuck makes you think that’s what I’ve done?”
Cole cocked his head to the side. “Isn’t that exactly what you’ve done? I am amazed at how quickly you’ve taken to us all, and while fucking and feeding is part of our genetic makeup, for a human, it usually takes a while for them to embrace a lifestyle like this.”
“Lifestyle like this?” I slammed the knife down. “Listen, just because you’re blocking everything doesn’t mean you need to make me feel guilty. I’m not just letting vampires fuck me because it’s healing the scars of the bullshit life I had. It’s deeper than that. I’ve never felt this alive before in my life. I never needed my mom to survive. I really didn’t think I needed anyone to make it in this world, but I do know now that I need all of you and you all need me. It’s like we were—”
“Fated to be together, I know,” Cole interrupted me.
“Oh, back to the bond that pisses you off, huh?”
“I just need to figure it out.” He stepped back and looked at me with irritation, “Give me a chance here, Elle. Fuck. I have no clue when I’ll finally be okay with all of this. Just give me time.”
“You’re right. Do whatever the hell you need to do.” I recovered and smiled at him. He wasn’t trying to be a dick. I could see that he was trying his best, but he was troubled. “Remember though, I’m not the one who bites!” I said with a smile that brought one to his face.
“Fair enough,” he said. “We got off topic earlier, but the guys will be gone for a while. That nest has given them info on a witch in New Orleans who may know a lot about your father. So it’s you and me again; although, I hope you’re up for a lot of fun in the surf and lounging on the beach because I need to research the fuck out of the NOLA vamps and witches. I don’t trust that area at all.”
“Finding out more about good old dad, huh? Okay. Will they be okay down there?”
“They’re going in on the defense, so I’m pretty damn sure they’re going to be just fine.”
“Damn.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m just going to miss them.”
Cole smiled. “Yeah, you’re stuck with me. Sorry about that.”
I laughed, following his tight ass and muscular, tanned legs to the dining area, “Maybe we’ll work on your issues while they’re gone. We’ll just lock Boots up this time.”
Cole sighed. “It’s not going to happen.” He looked at me, “Not being a jerk, but I really need to make sure these vamps check out. We haven’t dealt with these people before, and I don’t want anyone fucked over.”
“Got it. You’re sure the guys will be safe though?”
“They will be just fine. It’s you we’re all concerned about.” He turned and eyed the beach just beyond the outside porch, “You know, it’s a gorgeous evening. What do you think about enjoying our dinner outside?”
“I think it’s a perfect idea.”
