Page 41 of Stuck With My Rockstar Boss
I shake my head. “It’s different. It’s way different.”
“But it’s not!” he says so adamantly I’m rendered silent. “It’s…” Lucas looks at the guys and then back to me. “This tour wouldn’t have even happened if not for you.”
I look to Dylan, hoping he’ll understand what Lucas is saying, but he’s just as confused as me.
“At the end of last tour… do you remember what happened?”
I feel the color drain from my face. We’ve never spoken about what happened at the end of the last tour. The time I had to send security to his room. I’ve never asked about it and he’s never told me what was actually going on. I still just remember how terrified he looked that night when I saw him talking with police.
“When you called security to my room?”
“Lucas, we don’t have to do this here. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t–” I begin hurriedly, my voice quiet and private.
“No, we have to. It’s time. You all need to hear it,” he says, casting a look to the guys who are now all waiting to hear what he’s about to say with bated breath. “At the end of last tour, a fan got into my room.”
I hold my breath as the guys react, all of them a mixture of concern for Lucas and concern for themselves.
“And I was really drunk. You know, after that last concert in LA and we all… we all were. And she followed me into my room, but I didn’t even realize until I… I must have blacked out because next thing I knew I was on the bed with my arms and legs tied down and this girl was…” Lucas stops and looks away.
I can fill in the blanks. We all can. Just because people act like a woman can’t assault a man doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Of course, it does.
“So, I start screaming like bloody murder. The next thing I know, security barrels into the room and this girl gets yanked out kicking and screaming. They untied me… the cops showed up. And they’re interviewing me and interviewing Mika and–” Lucas stops and laughs to himself. “I’m like, what does Mika have to do with this? And they tell me that she’s the one who called security and they needed her witness testimony, and yeah.”
Even though Lucas is telling this story to the room, his eyes are squarely on me. This is so much deeper than I originally thought. So much deeper than I could have known. No wonder he’s felt so safe with me. I protected him without even knowing it.
“That girl probably would have been able to have her way with me if you hadn’t called them when you did,” he whispers.
“I don’t blame you for your anxiety, Lucas,” Dylan says, voice measured and calm. “That would have freaked me out too. I’m just sorry we didn’t make it safe enough for you to tell us.”
Lucas shakes his head. “I haven’t been ready to talk about it. Not until now.” He looks back to me and takes my hands. “This is the least we can do for you, Mika. The absolute least. You saved me.”
I start to protest but the guys don’t give me a chance and I get so overwhelmed with their votes of confidence, that I finally reply, “Fine! We’ll do it!” I’m grinning ear to ear. How can I say no to that?
§
We head off for Houston later that evening. The contracts won’t be ready in time for us to make our Oakland date. There’s a public outcry on Twitter. The trolls come out full force to give the guys shit, but they’re seasoned pros and don’t care.
To give us privacy, Crystal and Lee have agreed to travel with the guys on their bus for the evening. And given the way Crystal and Chase have been rubbing elbows all tour and the new contracts they’ve already signed, I bet tomorrow morning, there’ll be a story there.
Lucas and I curl up in the back of the bus on the sprawling couch under a blanket. It’s the only place big enough to lay out this way with someone else. We’ve enjoyed each other about three times over at this point and now that the guilt is gone, it feels even better than before. We can take our time and relish in how it feels to be with each other, rather than knowing it’s dangerous. That it’s wrong.
No.
It’s right.
“I think I wanna start therapy,” Lucas says, his voice ragged and tired.
I brush my fingers against his arm and lift my head from his chest. “Yeah?”
His lips twist. “I mean… I don’t know.”
I smile at him softly. “I think that’d be great for you. I think that’d help a lot.”
His tired green eyes roll over to mine. Barely twelve hours into our relationship and I already feel the possibility of a lifetime of moments in bed like this. “I don’t know if I could do it. Sit there with a stranger and tell them all my problems. Sounds like a panic attack waiting to happen.”
I touch his face gently. “I’ll go with you if you want.”
His eyebrows jump. “Would you?”
