Page 30 of Stuck With My Rockstar Boss
“San Francisco in a couple days. Then LA. Big shows coming up. Keep your head in it.”
I know my eyes flash with fire when I look at him. I doubt he’s said that to any of the other guys, despite their one-night flings in every town. “Got it.”
When I get back on the bus, Chase and the guys are sitting together. It’s clear they’ve been listening.
I walk past them without a word, but Chase calls out after me. “You good, man?”
I turn on my heel to face him. I have to keep my cool. I don’t have to defend myself. Because I have to ride with the lie. Mika’s life depends on it. I smile dopily, “Yeah, man. Why?”
Chase looks to Dylan and Jay with bewilderment. They were expecting something. Something more than that. “We just… sounded tense with Ken.”
“Oh!” I say and laugh. “Yeah. It was ridiculous. He accused me of sleeping around with one of the backup singers. Isn’t that crazy?”
Jay frowns and nods. “Yeah, man. That’s weird.”
“Weird,” I repeat with a snap of my fingers. “That’s the word.” I start to go again and then turn around to say one last thing: “San Francisco in a couple days. Then LA. We gotta keep our head in it. Don’t you think?”
They are all nodding. I give them an innocent smile and then retreat to my bunk.
12
Mika
Lucas has been distant. I’m not surprised, since Ken came out to ask about the picture in People. After the concert in Omaha, there was no playful touching, no longing glances. Not so much as a text afterward. My heart breaks a little, but I know it’s for the best. This was a close call and I can’t afford that. Literally.
I know Lucas is trying to protect me by keeping his distance. I just wish he would say something. Because now, my heart is breaking the tiniest bit.
Dammit, Mika. You thought with your pussy and got your heart involved. I have to take responsibility. I had been crushing on him for a while. I knew I could end up with my heart on the floor.
The drive from Omaha to California is long and depressing. There’s skeins of rain and the plains are cool until you feel like you’ve been staring at the same flat of land for hours. Crystal, Lee, and I play lots of card games. I can tell they’re trying not to ask me about what happened with Ken or what they think might have been happening with Lucas. They signed the same contract I did and, during late night chats in the bus, I’ve told them all about my family’s money issues. I think they are nearly confident I wouldn’t jeopardize my job that way.
At rest stops, we all stand outside with our hands in our pockets shooting the shit. I try to catch Lucas’s eyes from time to time, but he mostly looks at his feet.
When we’re on the road, I check my phone too much, hoping Lucas might text me to ask how I’m doing or say something like, “Wow, wish we could have stopped to check out Nebraska’s Largest Carrot.” (To be fair, this was my thought when we saw the sign on the highway).
I spend a lot of time in my bunk recounting all the encounters we had. The hotel rooms, the covert encounters in closets and dressing rooms. The time we almost got caught by a security guard in a back stairwell at the Minneapolis Institute of Art with Lucas’s hand in the front of my pants.
We really haven’t been as careful as we should have been. Aside from not doing anything at all.
It doesn’t help that I receive a call from my mom halfway through the trip. “How’s it going?” I ask.
“Oh, fine,” she says with a long sigh which is code for “not fine at all.”
“Mom…”
“We got a late fee on the mortgage payment. I don’t know how it happened or–”
I swallow. “I’ll take care of it.”
She doesn’t respond right away. I know everything in her wants to refuse my money. Except for the one that needs it to survive. “I’m sorry, Mika.” She always apologizes when she asks for money.
“It’s okay,” I say with a forced smile. The money is there and will continue to be if I stay focused. Which means no fooling around with Lucas. Not even a little peck on the cheek. We’re done. “How’s Dad?”
Finally, we reach California. San Francisco looms, the city bathed in fog. I always love going over the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s sort of mystical. As a kid, I had a book about famous US landmarks, and the Golden Gate Bridge always stuck out to me as this wondrous invitation into the playground of San Francisco.
I can’t resist sending Lucas a text.
Golden Gate Park is beautiful. I’ll be going tomorrow if you want to join me.
