Page 44 of Unmasked Anarchy
I slap him.
It comes as both a shock to me and him.
The sound radiates through the room.
He takes a step forward.Kael is six foot something of muscle, rage and pain, but I’m not backing up, not even when he gets close enough for me to smell the beer on his breath.
“Fuck you,” I hiss.“I am so fucking confused and messed up and broken, but I thought you were different.I thought you saw something in me that he never did.But here you are proving you are just like him.Let me do you a favor and get out of your hair.”
I turn and leave him there, alone with the ruined car and his asshole attitude.
I rush out of the compound, but the harsh reality is ...I have nowhere to go.
~*~*~*~*~
IT’S DARK BY THE TIMEI find the little park near Main Street, the kind with equipment so ancient even the ghosts of children have abandoned it.A single streetlight flickers near the curb, and over the road, people are leaving their workplaces for the night.I find a swing and sit on it, praying it doesn’t break, because the squeaking sound it makes has me uneasy.
My hands shake.I press them flat between my thighs to keep them still, trying to calm my breathing.Today I learned something, a bitter truth that I always knew but never fully accepted until right now.I have no one.No one to come pick me up.No dad to ground me.No best friend to offer wine.The full weight of it slams into me.
I am completely alone.
I can’t help the tears that flow down my cheeks.I hiccup through them, not bothering to swipe them away.
At some point, the low growl of a motorcycle roars through the night.It parks on the curb before everything goes quiet again.It’s either someone from Kael’s club, or Gage.There are no other options.I guess it depends who felt like a little more fighting tonight.
As he approaches, I am shocked to see it is Kael.
I didn’t think he would come.
He takes the swing next to mine, the chains groaning under his weight.Neither of us speak.For a long time, he just sits, elbows propped on knees, eyes locked somewhere near the broken slides.
“I fucked up,” he finally says, so quiet I almost miss it.“You’re right.I got no claim.You don’t belong to me.Never did.Maybe never will.”
I wipe my face hard and sniff.“I get it, Kael, believe me I do.But the situation I’m in, it’s so god damned confusing.I don’t know who I am anymore.”
“Understand that, but I need you to know, you owe me nothin’.”
I wrap my hands around the chains, the night air giving me a chill.“You’re wrong.I owe you my life.”
The silence grows thick again, but it’s not heavy.It’s ...honest.
He shifts, and the swing moves as he angles himself slightly toward me.“Tell me about him.”
It takes me a second to realize he means Gage.But not the monster, not the biker, but the man who pulled me from a wreck and saved me from a life that would have killed me.
“He saved me,” I say, softly.“My life wasn’t great, and my mother died at my hand.Gage somehow got me out of it.I never bothered to ask how; I didn’t want to know.He lived up the street, and although I don’t remember it, he told me he met me when I was younger and after that, he used to keep an eye on me.When he saw the flashing police lights that night, he knew he had to help.I guess it’s safe to say he probably heard more than one fight in the time we lived there.My mother was an addict, and a very violent woman.”
“He good to you?”
I breathe slow, because I don’t honestly know the answer to that.“Gage isn’t the kind of man to do love, but he kept me safe and he gave me a home.Until the club started eating parts of him that I fell in love with.The rage.The violence.”I rub my upper arm, trying to warm it up.“It changed him, and slowly, the love I was so desperately seeking got further and further away.It broke parts of me.”
Kael goes silent for a while.“You love him?”
I pause, it’s the same question the girls asked.“I don’t know if I ever truly loved him, not in the way I should have, but I will always owe so much to Gage and for that, yeah, I have love for him.”
“Gotta know,” Kael murmurs.“You want this, with us?”
I push out of my swing, standing so my legs don’t go to jelly.I turn to him, holding his gaze.“You’re the first thing in so long that has reminded me that there is good out there, Kael.I can’t help the way I feel for you.I have tried, believe me.So yeah, I do want it, because I want to see what life with you would be like.It’s complicated, though.Gage isn’t going to step back, not without a fight.”
