Page 53 of Where Quiet Hearts Scream
She smiles kindly. “There was a change of plan.”
My heart jackknifes, tipping my world on its side.
He’s discarded me already.
All it took was one look at the real me, the raw, unguarded, vulnerable me, and he’s dropped me like a hot coal.
I knew rejection likely felt miserable but not likethis. Not like someone has actually reached inside my chest, ripped out my heart and reversed a forty ton semi-truck over it.
And I don’t evenlovemy husband, so what must rejection feel like when true love is part of the equation?
“Why don’t you take a bath or shower, get yourself dressed and meet me back out here for some breakfast, then we’ll get on our way? There’s no rush—take your time.”
I go to turn around but everything aches. My bones feel like they’re pulsing angrily out of my skin. Numbness begins to course down my spine, freezing all my emotions in place.
I take a heavy step then collapse to the floor. Viola rushes over and puts a hand to my forehead. “Are you feeling alright, signora? Should I call a doctor?”
I shake my head, unable to find the words. What words are there to explain this bottomless depth of grief?
It’s like Mama has died all over again. No one wants me. No one is really here for me. All it took was one askand Papa gave me away. The last I saw of my family was Trilby and Tess smiling radiantly, oblivious to the darkness tinging the edges of our world, and Allegra holding Bambi close because that’s what she’s always done.
My family has always relied on me to be the sensible one, the unflappable one, the only one with the ambition to leave the fold and build a career of her own. I’ve never asked for, or needed, anyone’s shoulder to lean on, and now, when I do need it, I’m completely alone.
Silent tears roll down my cheeks and I slump even deeper into the soft carpet. Shadows descend over my awareness, shutting everything out to protect whatever fragility I have left.
And I cry so hard I can’t breathe.
“Shhh, now. It’s okay, signora. Everything is going to be okay.”
I come around minutes later to a hollow sensation in my chest and the sound of a strange housekeeper’s words in my ears. She has her arms wrapped around my shoulders and her blouse is soaked through from my tears.
I jerk out of her hold and frantically wipe my eyes. What is happening to me?
“You’ll feel better after a shower, signora,” she says, looking me firmly in the eye.
I nod once, but hiccups take away my ability to speak. I get to my feet and walk numbly back into the bedroom, then I just do as she says. I take a shower.
The housekeeper was right. A shower has made me feel a little better, but I suppose it doesn’t take much once you’ve hit rock bottom. One can only really go up from there.
A fresh outfit—one that Allegra must have packed—has been laid out across the bed. I pull the maxi dress over my head and slip on the sandals, then I pleat my hair over one shoulder. I don’t bother with makeup because there is literally no one I can impress anymore.
Ibelongto someone now, and thatsomeonehas thrown me to the dogs.
I wake up from a broken sleep just as we’re crossing the border into Massachusetts. I glance across at Viola and she’s still tapping away on the tablet.
I lick my dry lips and clear my throat. “Where will I be staying?”
She looks up briefly, then returns to tapping. “Oh, the main house. It was completed last week.” She shakes her head and smiles. “It will be a beautiful home—a real family home. Signor Corioni chose well. But, then, he always knows what he wants, and—” she looks sideways at me, “he alwaysgetswhat he wants.”
My brow dips at the word ‘family.’ I can’t imagine after the way he just abandoned me on our weddingnight and left me with a total stranger, Andreas could still see himself having a family withme.
I turn away to look out of the window. The scenery is stunning. Winchester is already a world away from New York and the Hamptons.
“There will be one familiar face in Boston at least,” Viola continues. “Chef Alessandro. He’ll be joining us at the house. I understand you are already a fan of his food.”
I turn back to see her lips curled in a reassuring smile. Mine flick up slightly at the corners, but it’s brief. I hardly saw Chef Alessandro. He came to the house, he cooked, Allegra summoned me to the dining room, and I ate. We probably exchanged pleasantries once or twice, nothing more.
“You can take the next few days to rest and then you will have your first appointment with Doctor Barbara Nowak.”
