Page 96 of Where Quiet Hearts Scream
I am stunned by how quickly the ground can shift. I’ve only just acclimated to being a wife, amafiawife, a partner to someone who has killed for me, and who, if push came to shove, I might just kill for too.
I’ve only just gotten used to the fact I’m living a life Mama would have hated. Weallare, except Bambi—for now. I’m still working through the effects of that with Dr. Nowak. And now, Papa is moving on from Mama too, something I genuinely never thought would happen.
“So, what now?” I ask.
“Nothing changes,” Papa rushes out. “Except… Antonia will be living here with us. And Nicolò is also welcome too, though he spends his time between several properties.”
My gaze drifts, trance-like, to Nicolò. “So, you’re like, our stepbrother now?”
He glances up from his phone and shrugs. When I was younger and the ever-present chaos of being surrounded by girls became too much, I would dream of having a brother. But Nicolò isn’t selling the idea right now. He looks so bored and disinterested.
Trilby leaves Cristiano’s side and is the first one to hug Papa and Antonia, and then Nicolò. “Congratulations, and welcome to our family.”
I realize I should probably follow suit, even though it’s the last thing I want to do right now. I need to get my head around all of this. Andreas squeezes my hand before releasing me to walk across the room and do the same.
When I wrap my arms around Antonia, she’s trembling. I offer her a small, hopefully reassuring smile, before I tentatively hug my new stepbrother.
Benito whispers something in Tess’s ear but she shakes her head, refusing to move. He kisses her neck instead.
I look over at Bambi who is staring at Papa, Antonia and Nicolò, her eyes wide and watery. It’s only now I remember just how attached she’s become to our father. Being the youngest of the family, Bambi was always treated with kid gloves. She could do no wrong in Papa’s eyes and he’s doted on her for all these years. This has only intensified as her relationship withAllegra has grown more combustible. They are two fiery women who rage as intensely as they love.
But she’s no longer the only sun in his orbit. Papa has a new love now: Antonia.
Bambi’s horrified gaze slides between Papa and Antonia like she can’t believe what she just heard. My heart lurches. She’s still so young but she’s had to grow up fast—possibly faster than the rest of us.
We didn’t have to contend with the prospect of life in the mafia at her age. We at least had a few more years behind us. Bambi is navigating so much: hormones, school pressures, the notoriety that comes with being part of the Di Santo’s, and now step-daughter to a new mother.
She scrambles off the chair and glares at them one more time. In a thinly veiled temper, she yanks the band from her hair, letting her insanely long locks fall down her back, thenrunsout of the room.
No one else moves—we just stand or sit awkwardly, unsure what to do.
Antonia is the first to speak. “I know this is a lot to take in, and a bit of a surprise.”
Tess’s brows hike up her forehead.
“I just want to reassure you all, I love your father and I want to make him as happy as he makes me. I’m not here to replace anyone or erase the past. It’s part of who you all are. Your father has raised four strong, incredible young women. I’m proud to be joining your family.”
“Mom.”
I lift my gaze to Nicolò. He’s shooting his mother a warning glare as if he doesn’t want her to say anymore. Because, in truth, she doesn’t owe us an explanation.
She frowns, then continues. “I expect it will take some time to get used to the idea, but I’m here if any of you wish to talk. I’m looking forward to getting to know you all better.”
I smile, encouragingly. “Thanks Antonia, that’s nice to hear.”
Trilby rolls her lips inward. “I’m sorry, I… I should go check on Bambi.”
“I’ll come with you,” I add.
“Me too.” Tess pushes herself off Benito’s lap and follows us out of the room. We all walk briskly to the back of the property to the garden, knowing exactly where Bambi will be. Papa built her a treehouse when she was six and it’s still the place she goes when she wants to hide herself away.
There it still stands, tucked up against an old oak at the end of the garden, half-swallowed by ivy. I haven’t climbed it since before Mom died but I know Tess and Bambi were regular visitors growing up.
We climb the ladder and crawl into the little house. I haven’t dressed for a New York early winter so my arms are permanently fixed around myself. Bambi is sitting with her knees to her chest and her arms wrapped tight around them, like she’s trying to disappear. The little lantern we used to hang from the roof is still flickering, dim from a half-dead battery.
“Hey, Bambi,” Trilby says, softly.
She doesn’t look up. Her voice is muffled against her sweater. “How can you all be okay with this?”
