Page 66 of Darkest Desire
“Well, I prefer speaking in Italian,” Giovanni announces, right before he switches to the other language. He and Nico start up a conversation as we head to the dining room. I can make out a few words – business and allies – but otherwise, I’m lost.
Adrien gives me a knowing look as he sits across from me at the table. “You hate being left out, don’t you?”
“You’re French. Aren’t you left out too?”
“I know multiple languages, including Italian. So, no. I’m not left out.” He sets his arm behind Jessica’s head, curling his fingers around her shoulder. She leans into him with a giddy smile. I feel so bad for her. She’s going to be thrown away like all the other women Adrien has brought around.
It makes me appreciate Nico more, I have to admit. He has committed himself to me. That is one thing I can say in his favor.
Nico looks even more animated as he speaks in Italian. It lights up his entire face. The urge to move in closer to him and soak up his energy is strong. So strong that I almost do it until I push it down. I can’t fall in love with Nico. It doesn’t matter that we shared something powerful. That he showed me pleasurewhen no one else ever has. That he makes my stomach flutter every time he’s in the room.
He's still not a good man.
But I’m not good either. I helped kill a man. Yes, I was forced into it but I didn’t fight as hard as I could have. And there was a dark part of me that didn’t want to be taken away from Nico and brought back to Natalya and Mikhail. What my sister and her husband have is love. I would just be a third wheel around them.
With Nico, I get the chance to form my own identity. If I can just accept that he’s a murderer. Which is something I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do.
The dinner goes by smoothly as we all converse. The three men dominate the conversation. Jessica looks happy just to be invited while I sit back and observe. Watching Nico in his element reveals so much about him, from the way he speaks with confidence to the way he moves with power. Adrien and Giovanni are powerful men themselves so the fact that Nico can stand out amongst them is a sexy thing.
Sexy. Great. Now I’m thinking of Nico as sexy.
“Excuse me,” I murmur. “I have to use the bathroom.” Nico nods, dismissing me but Giovanni follows me with his eyes as I leave the room. It’s unnerving to say the least.
I splash water on my face to cool myself down. Thinking Nico is sexy is only going to lead to bad things, like ending up in his bed. A warm heat spreads between my legs. Would that be such a bad thing? He is my husband after all. No one would blame me for being with him.
Except for myself. And maybe Natalya.
We were never close growing up but I always desired for her attention. I wanted to be just like her. Effortlessly beautiful. A great dancer. Demure. But I was never those things. I didn’t grow into my looks until a few years ago and I’ve never been demure. I’m too brash for that.
As for being a dancer, I just never took to it. I could tell my dad was disappointed in me for not being exactly like Natalya. I think it’s why I’m desperate for her approval and she would be so disappointed in me if I fell for Nico. She would tell me I need to be better.
With a low huff, I slam my hands onto the counter top.Control yourself.
After taking a deep breath, I leave the bathroom and enter the hallway…
Where Giovanni is.
A quick glance around tells me that we’re alone.
“Hello,” I murmur, trying to walk past him but he says my name, stopping me.
“I wanted the chance to talk with you. Away from your husband.”
Warning alarms start going off in my head. “Why do you want to talk with me away from Nico?”
“I’ve heard rumors. That he forced you into marrying him. Is that true?”
I promised Nico I would be on my best behavior. I don’t think telling Giovanni how much I hate Nico is being on my best behavior.
“I… didn’t exactly agree with the marriage,” I say carefully.
“So he did force you.”
“Not exactly.”
He tilts his head to the side, eyeing me over. “Then what would you call it?”
“I’m not sure. I should be getting back to the table. Did you need to use the bathroom?”
