Page 103 of Breaking Point
I’ll never tell her that, though.
The next three hours consists of the most grueling moments I’ve witnessed in my mother’s cancer journey. I see her feel more pain than when she found the note my father left her the week she was diagnosed. I see more fear flash in her eyes than the time she was told her ovarian cancer had spread. I see her cry more tears than when she opened her closet to find my father had taken everything he owned and ran.
And the worst part is, we both know she will have to go through this again tomorrow.
Chapter 26
Bella
LAYLA
how did the first round of treatment go?
BELLA
I’ve never seen someone have to suffer through so much physical pain in the hopes of getting better
The second Layla parks her car, she’s out on the driveway with her arms wrapped around my body. “I’m sorry, B,” she whispers into my hair.
All the tension from my mother’s first round of treatment leaves my body as I sag into her arms. I couldn’t allow myself to feel before, not when my mom was the one who needed me.
“It’s horrible, Layla,” I choke out, a sob making its way up my throat. “It was so horrible. I called her oncologist about it, asked if that’s how it should be, and he said the first round of the treatment will be the worst.” Sniffling, I turn my back on the house just in case my mom managed to drag herself out of bed—which is highly unlikely. “Apparently it’s meant to be this aggressive and that my mom needs aggression to?—”
I will not repeat the words he said, but Layla catches on to what I can’t voice. Her eyes, so round and blue, droop with the weight of her sadness.
“God, Bella, I’m so sorry. I know that’s no consolation but I truly am. Your mom doesn’t deserve this.”
Sighing, I whisper, “No one does. I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy.” Shaking my desolate thoughts away, my heavy gaze lands on her. “I have to be honest, I’m considering canceling tonight. How can I leave her after that?”
Her eyes widen. “No, B. You have to go, it’s part of the agreement. It’s okay, I’m not new to this. I can handle it.”
My chest clenches. “It’s…confronting. I’ve never seen her look as ill as she does now and the side effects?—”
“I can do confronting.”
My lower lip trembles. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do,” she states, giving me another tight squeeze.
I allow her warmth to touch the cold parts of my heart as I whisper, “She’s not doing well. This…this really took a toll on her.”
“Physically or emotionally?”
“Both.”
Layla nods. “I thought it might.”
My eyes burn with tears. “I did this to her,” I choke out. “I pushed her to do the treatment and it’s ruining her.”
Layla shakes her head, her form blurring through my tears. “No, Bella. This is the only shot at keeping her alive. You’re not selfish for pushing her to take it.”
“What if it kills her?”
“She was already dying, B,” she says ever so softly.
My bottom lip quivers, the only sign before the emotion I’ve been trying to keep at bay explodes.
“I can’t lose her,” I choke out between sobs. “I really can’t. I don’t think I could deal with that, Layla. I’ve never lost anyone, never had to watch someone slowly die before me.”
