Page 16 of Vicious Princess
The old crone snorts and returns to reading her paper. A few minutes later, a bowl lands in front of me.
“Thank you,” I say, inspecting the weird brownish gruel.
“It tastes better than it looks,” Kazh says before digging into her bowl.
I take a spoon and eat. I’m starving, and I don’t have money to waste. I’m surprised it’s sweet. We eat in silence.
I want to ask Kazh questions that would help me understand the Order better, but I’m not sure she’d be willing to talk to me about it. She made it very clear what she thinks about Ezkai.
“Vasquez told me that in Ekios, unlike in Wetra, not all Decarios choose to use nature’s gifts to fight and protect their country,” I say hesitantly. Kazh doesn’t react. “You and your men…aren’t Ezkai. Why? Is it because the Ezkai Academy is gruesome and hard to graduate from?”
When her eyes rise from her meal to me, I almost regret asking. At first, she looks ready to strike me for even voicing this question, but then something changes and her expression softens.
“Our tradition doesn’t force those who don’t want to be used as weapons to do something they don’t want, just because the spirits of the gods blessed them with unnatural strength. But you’re right. While many fae Decarios aim for the Order, not all those manage to pass the training and earn the honor of joining the Order,” she says.
My stomach twists at her words. Before yesterday, I wasn’t aware one needs to earn the honor of becoming an Ezkai, whatever that might mean. What if…what if my Wetran training isn’t enough?
I force myself to swallow another spoonful.
“You know, the Order of Ezkai is not a be-all and end-all,” Kazh says. “You’re young, and new to Ekios. Clearly very ambitious. There are better things you can do with your time, abilities, and life than waste your efforts becoming an Ezkai.”
I bristle. “And what would that be?”
“Depends on what your goal is.” She leans forwards. “What is it that you seek, young one?”
Power.
Influence.
Vengeance.
Those words dance on the tip of my tongue, but from the way Kazh looks at me, I know they’d be a wrong answer to her question.
Unable to keep her gaze for any longer, I look away. I can’t find a good answer, so I give her none.
“You look like you’re searching for a purpose,” she says when I don’t reply. “Direction, meaning. A place to belong.”
I press my lips into a thin line. That weird knot twists in my chest.She can’t read me as well as she thinks.
At least, that’s what I tell myself.
“The Order of Ezkai might feel like the right path for someone like you,” Kazh says. “But there are better ways to find what you’re looking for.”
I look up at her from my bowl. “Like?”
“Come work for me.”
“Workhere? At your inn?”
She gives me a blank stare.
I scoff. Kazh must be joking. What good would it do for me to stay here and work at an inn run by a fae Decarios who appears to despise her own kind, who doesn’t value the gift she possesses?
“I don’t want to spend my days cleaning rooms at your inn or preparing food for your guests,” I say.
“Shit for brains, this one,” Kazh says, more to herself than to me. “Did I say you’d be running an inn for me?”
“Then…” I hesitate. “What sort of work do you want me to do for you?”
