Page 78 of Love, Always and Forever
Chapter 23
The headlights from Jack’s pickup flashed across Amy’s living room window as it backed out of Mikhail’s driveway. Hopefully the two brothers had finished their discussion without doing each other any serious damage. The only question she had now was whether Sarge was going to spend the night with her and Panda or if his owner was going to come get him.
A few seconds later, a soft knock answered that question. She opened the door, not sure what to expect. She leaned against the door frame and aimed for keeping the moment light.
After giving Mikhail a head-to-toe look, she said, “Well, I don’t see any obvious bruises. Can Jack make the same claim?”
“It was a close thing.” Mikhail’s smile came and went quickly. “But, yeah, he can.”
“Glad to hear it. So are you here to collect Sarge?”
“Yeah, but I’d like to talk with you for a few minutes first if that’s okay.”
“Why?” she asked, although she wasn’t sure she had it in her to refuse him such a simple request.
He made no move to come inside. “I don’t want to leave things between us like they are right now.”
What could they say that hadn’t already been said? It wasn’t like they could hit theREWINDbutton and make everything that had happened go away.
Even so, she stepped back. “Come on in.”
Mikhail stayed right where he was, hands in his hip pockets. “Mind if we sit outside instead? It’s a nice night, and the moon is spectacular. Besides, some things are easier to talk about in the darkness.”
It was tempting to refuse, to close the door and hide from the emotional pain she knew—just knew—was the most likely outcome of any discussion they would have now. But this was her friend. If he needed to talk, she’d listen.
“Let’s go out in the backyard. It’s more private, and the dogs can wander around if they want to without us having to worry about them.”
Rather than coming inside, Mikhail immediately reversed course and headed around the end of the house toward the gate to the backyard. Sarge shoved past her to follow his owner into the dark shadows, leaving her staring after them. Seriously? Mikhail wouldn’t cut through her house even though that was the shortest route to the backyard?
When Panda whined, she reached down to pat him on the head. “Come on, boy. We’ll catch up with those two out back.”
It was tempting to stop long enough to concoct a couple of supersized banana splits. A day like this one certainly warranted them, but she didn’t want to risk Mikhail changing his mind and taking off. She found him sitting out in the grass, leaning back on his elbows with his long legs stretched in front of him and Sarge sprawled across his lap. Lucky dog.
She sank down on the grass a short distance away and checked out the night sky for herself. “You’re right. The moon is gorgeous.”
He remained silent for several seconds. “Tell me about your heart surgery.”
So they weren’t going to dance around the subject. “I already did. I had a major heart valve defect when I was born, one they couldn’t completely fix with the technology that existed then.”
“But that changed?”
“Yeah, the doctors came to us with this new procedure they wanted to try.” She let the memories of that day play out in her head. “Funny, you would’ve thought I’d jump at the chance to fix the problem permanently, but it was actually hard to make that decision.”
Mikhail gave her a puzzled look. “Why? Were you scared that you might not make it through the surgery?”
“Partly, but it was actually more complicated than that.” She sighed. “Hope can be a tricky thing. I wasn’t sure that I could handle it if it turned out that the surgery only made me a little bit better. What if they did this new miracle procedure, and I still couldn’t live anything close to a normal life? How much longer did I want my family to constantly worry about me? Did I really want to go on living on the sidelines, watching the world pass by my parents’ living room window? Heck, if it hadn’t been for the online schools, I wouldn’t have even been able to go to college. I came this close to refusing to put myself and my family through it.”
When she held up her finger and thumb with only a tiny space between them to illustrate her point, Misha glanced at her hand and shook his head. “Facing something like that would be scary as hell, but I also know you well enough to be sure there was no way you wouldn’t have had that surgery. It’s like a marine the night before a battle—scared shitless but knowing he’s going to pick up that rifle and fight anyway. The battlefield might have been different, but you were a soldier in your very own war, Amy, and you came through the fight stronger than ever.”
She soaked up his praise like a sponge. No one had ever put it in those terms before. Maybe he really did understand what it had been like for her.
“What did the doctors say?”
He asked the question in a complete monotone, which didn’t soften the emotional punch that came with it. They both knew a lot hung on her answer. “I have to go in periodically for follow-up tests, but so far they’re thrilled with the results. By all reports, it was a resounding success.”
He shifted to look at her more directly. “But?”
“What makes you think there’s a ‘but’ in there somewhere?”
