Page 45 of Love Medley
Chapter fifteen
Lucy
Standing in front of the mirror, I’m flooded with panic as I run my hands down the embroidered tulle overlay covering my evening gown. The baby blue trumpet-style dress is sleeveless with the satin layer curving in a sweetheart neckline. The tulle layer extends all the way up my chest where it fastens at the nape of my neck.
But even though the dress is everything I could have hoped for, I’m having an out-of-body experience—the strangerstaring back at me is trembling. Something shifted between Jake and me at his apartment, and since then, it’s been hard to breathe.
Am I falling for the guy I’m fake dating? And that moment at the piano—could it be that I’m not alone in what I’m feeling?
But that doesn’t make sense. Isn’t Jake in love with Sam still?
And what about me? Even if Jakewereinterested, is this really the right time? I’m still caught up in Weston’s mind games. Am I truly ready for something new? And even if I am, would Jake even want to get attached to someone who is so broken?
As if he hears me, Weston’s voice rings in my head as I stare at myself.Are you sure you want to wear that? You look cheap. That’s too tight. I can see every extra pound you gained this year.
And then…I own you. Why do you think anyone would want to hear anything you have to say? You’re nothing without me.
I can already see my shoulders hunching in the mirror, my hands trembling and ready to cover my ears, as if that will block out his voice.
Instead, my eyes dart around my room. Three things I see. My bed, my brush, my satin heels in the corner. Three things I smell. Lavender from my body wash. Aerosol from my hair spray. Vanilla from my lotion. Three things I touch. My dress, my flowery bedspread, my hair. Three things I hear. The whirring of my A/C, the honking of a car outside, the soundtrack ofThe Greatest Showmanplaying softly in the background.
Inhaling deeply, I sense my pulse dropping, but so is my gut. Jake taught me these skills in his quietly competent way when I was falling apart, and I neededhis help.
We're so different in the ways that matter—Jake is solid and strong. And me? I'm not. I'm terrified that one day, whatever remains intact in me will finally shatter. And he shouldn't have to be the one to pick up the pieces.
So even if we could date? I can’t do that to him. I can’t do that to myself. Deep down, I'd know I was just holding him back. He deserves someone whole.
But the idea of him with Sam makes my insides crawl. She’s not good enough for him either.
Anyway, all of this is besides the point. The goal for tonight has not changed. I’m going to go in there and do my part. Jake is getting nothing out of this—tonight is for me—and I need to make sure it's worth his effort.
As I straighten my shoulders, I think the woman in the mirror at least gives off the vibe of strength. Even if the opposite is true.
Just then, there’s a buzz on my phone.
“Hello?” God, is my hand shaking?
“Hey, I’m downstairs.”
Smiling when I hear Jake’s voice is becoming automatic, no matter how hopeless the situation is. A flutter stirs deep in my belly. “I’ll be right there.”
When I catch sight of him as I exit my building, I pause, my breath hitching in my throat.
I love seeing him like this, unaware that I’m there. He’s completely relaxed, arms crossed in front of his chest, one leg draped over the other as his back rests against his Toyota Camry. He’sdressed in a light gray suit with a baby blue tie, his figure all sharp lines and quiet masculinity.
In other words, Jake is devastatingly hot.
Why did I have to meet this gorgeous man who has a heart of gold, only to realize that he could never be mine?
Stiffening my spine, I paste a smile on my face and take a step towards him.
Jake finally glimpses me—his eyes widening as he straightens. The seconds tick by, the world fading away as my attention becomes solely fixed on the man in front of me.
I move closer, detecting a hint of starch and deodorant mixed with a musky scent that is entirely Jake.
“You look gorgeous,” Jake murmurs, tucking a curl behind my ear. The sensation of his fingers against my skin sends a tremor through me. In slow motion, he leans towards me, and for a second, I think he’s going to kiss me, but then he reaches past me to open the car door.
My breath leaves me in a rush, and disappointment surges through me. “Thanks.”
