Page 40 of Love Medley
And then I realize…Lucy sees me. She’s already supported me in ways that Sam would never dream of. Lucy instinctively understands how to be there for me—she’s been speaking my love language from day one. A chasm cracks open somewhere deep inside. How can I pretend I don’t feel something when my heart clearly does?
I’m so fucked.
“Well, even if Sam doesn’t appreciate your skills, I bet a lot of people do,” Lucy continues.
I scramble to find my footing. Inside, I’m all free fall. “Thereissomething awesome about getting a bunch of people in a room all riled up and singing with you.”
For a long time, I was surprised that all of these people wanted to listen to me. The experience of total strangers enjoying my performances was powerful for me, because I tend to assume that everyone sees me the same way my dad does.
But Lucy doesn’t. This fact slams through me. A wrecking ball of an epiphany.
“I bet. That must be such a high.” Then a wicked smile comes to her lips. “What’s yourleastfavorite song to perform?”
I smirk. “Anything by Nickelback, but definitely ‘How You Remind Me.’”
Lucy lets out a startled laugh. “What's up with all the Nickelback hate?”
“It’s more about what they represent. They gave up a lot of creative control to the label. I know it worked commercially, but something about that just rubs me the wrong way.”
“You are such a snob!” Lucy pokes me.
Catching her hand, I bark out a delighted laugh; I love that she feels comfortable enough with me to give me shit. And it doesn’t escape me that I feel just as safe teasing her. But then the sensation of her hand in mine is almost too overpowering, and I let go of her quickly.
God, get a grip! This is fake. Remember? “I just call it as it is,” I say hoarsely.
We’re smiling at each other, and the moment stretches until Lucy clears her throat.
“I’m glad I know more about you. But it’s still going to be hard to fool Weston, so we need to make our relationship more authentic.” She chews on her lip for a moment. “He’s always online, scrolling social media. We should take some pictures in locations where only couples would be together.”
Lucy taps her chin thoughtfully. “What if…we went to our apartments and snapped some photos with each other? We could maybe post them on Instagram. What do you think?”
I’m suddenly paralyzed by the thought of Lucy and me in an apartment together. Alone.
Spending more time with her is a surefire way to trick myself into thinking this is the real deal. But if there was a line, I crossed it a while ago. “Sure, okay,” I manage.
“What are you doing Sunday afternoon?”
Chapter thirteen
Lucy
Why did I suggest that we should visit each other’s apartments? Regardless of what I told Jake, I’m beginning to think that I’m just coming up with any excuse to see him again. And that’s not a good idea on so many levels—I’m in no place to start anything and Jake’s not available…at least, not for long. But the thought of Sam and Jake together curdles in my stomach.
That’s probably pretty revealingright there.
My apartment is already clean, since Weston trained me to keep everything spotless. Little by little, I’m realizing what I saw as normal in our relationship just…wasn’t. The stark contrast between Weston and Jake makes that even clearer.
But breaking free of Weston’s patterns isn’t easy. I worry that most of my choices still aren’treallymine. The horrible thing is—I can’t always tell. Even now, it feels like he’s taking my agency.
Then a thought strikes me, and I laugh. Weston wouldhateme dating Jake—so I’m pretty sure that’s all me.
The buzzer rings, signifying Jake has arrived, and I push a button on my phone to let him in.
A few minutes later, there’s a knock. I take a deep breath and open the door.
The moment I see Jake, something unexpected stirs in my chest.
It’s not just attraction, although that's certainly present. There's something about him that quiets the constant hyperalertness in my head.
