Page 34 of Love Medley
And suddenly, the butterfly swarm in my belly ramps up to a new level of frenzy.
How does this guy affect me so much? I remind myself he’s just helping me to get rid of Weston, and I’m his wing woman for winning back Sam’s heart. She was so lucky to have this man in the first place. How could she have ever let him go?
Clearing his throat, Jake continues, “You know way more than you ever wanted to know about the skeletons in my closet. What aboutyourdeepest, darkest secrets?”
Even though I know he’s teasing, I blanch a little at the thought of revealing my innermost thoughts to Jake, who is still effectively a stranger.
He immediately notices and backs off, an uncertain look appearing on his face. “I just mean, like you said yesterday, I should probably know a little more about you so I’m not floundering in front of Weston.”
Oh, Jake. Like when he second-guessed how well he taught me the breathing techniques, I’m reminded that the confidence he shows the world is just a mask. Underneath, he’s worried like the rest of us.
“Sorry. I’m just not used to talking about myself,” I say, trying to ease his discomfort.
Jake’s lips turn downwards. “Because…of Weston?”
Oh man. I mean, I’ve never been a super open person to begin with, but when I think back about my relationship with Weston, I’ve definitely shut down more. And because I’m only starting to remember how to have social interactions with people other thanWeston, I still feel rusty. “I guess, yes? I’ve never thought of it that way before.”
Weston really messed me up in ways that I’m only starting to understand. His effect on me was more encompassing than just his increasingly outward expression of rage. I thought things were bad because he was becoming increasingly physical, but his impact on me was more insidious than I ever imagined.
And somehow Jake noticed that right away.
“Well, we’ll have to work on that,” Jake says finally. “What’s your favorite color?”
I snort out a laugh. “That’s what you want to know? Wow, we really suck at this.”
Jake shoots me the most endearing, sheepish smile. “Tell me about it.”
“I love blue,” I say. “You?”
Jake scrubs his head with a hand. “Blue works for me too. To be fair, I don’t really know what my favorite color is.”
Suddenly overcome by a fit of giggles, I say, “Wait, you asked me about my favorite color when you don’t even know what yours is?”
Jake groans and buries his face in his hands, his response coming out muffled. “Case in point.”
Suddenly, I realize that it’s been a long time since I’ve laughed or smiled this much. I never even realized how unhappy I was when I was with Weston. How did everything in that relationship become so routine and normal for me?
“Blue it is,” I continue, pushing down these uncomfortable revelations. “Where did you grow up?”
“Here in Blackwell,” Jake says. “I’m a home boy.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Wow, really? Did you leave for school?”
“Nope,” Jake says, rubbing the back of his neck.
His awkwardness with this lighthearted conversation is strangely charming. It makes me want to reach out and squeeze his hand, letting him know that I don’t bite. Maybe I’m not the only one who's navigating new waters here.
But no, I shouldn’t touch him—for once, I’m going to squelch down my impulses. I don’t want to give Jake the wrong idea, and anyway, he’s hung up on Sam. Still, the thought of my fingers on his skin sends an inexplicable tingle down my spine.
“I remained here for college too,” Jake continues, unaware of my inner thoughts. “I received a partial scholarship, so it just made sense. Where did you grow up?”
“Texas,” I say. “Where everything is bigger and better. The BBQ, the size of burgers, the trucks.”
Jake grins. “That stereotype is true then, eh?”
“Yeah,” I say. “The guns and football fever are no joke either. Not that I’m interested in either of those.”
“Good to know. Do you have any siblings?”
