Page 83 of Love Medley
“I know you haven’t had great experiences with guys, and I never want to take advantage of that. But I admit I have a hard time saying no to you.”
I sigh contentedly. “You didn’t take advantage. I wanted this. I wantedyou. And you checked in with me every step of the way.”
Jake lifts his head up and gazes at me seriously. “You can always say no to me,” he says. “It will never be a problem. I want you to feel safe and in control. Always.”
Him saying those words out loud—it’s everything. I feel tears welling up, even though I’m happy, not sad. “Thank you, Jake. That means so much to me. But you don’t need to worry—I’ve always felt safe with you.”
Jake folds me into his arms again, and I lie there for a moment, loving the sensation of peace flooding through me. I’m in awe of how each interaction with Jake doesn’t falter—it just builds on the foundation we already have in place. Obviously the sexwas…everything, but honestly, it was only an expression of where we already were.
That’s why it meant so much more.
After another beat I say, “So. Are you hungry?”
Jake laughs, a muffled sound against my hair. “Thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter twenty-six
Lucy
We both act like we’ve been starving for weeks, the way we dive into that food. I ordered pad thai, yellow curry, basil fried rice, papaya salad, and mango and sticky rice for dessert.
“This is so good,” Jake moans as he scoops up another spoonful of rice. “What’s this place called?”
“Thai Goddess,” I say around a mouthful of papaya salad, the tangy fruit mixed with vinegar blasting into my mouth. “It’s my favorite Thai restaurant in the city,andit’s close tomy apartment.”
“I’ve eaten so well in the past couple of weeks,” Jake says. “I have you to thank.”
“There are so many great places that I haven’t tried yet. Oooh! We should go on a foodie adventure around the city!” I bounce in my seat. Now that Weston is no longer restricting my diet, I want to explore all the food I’ve been dying to try. Bill’s and Koi Palace were just the beginning.
And Jake will be the perfect person to do it with.
He chuckles at my excitement. “I think we can arrange that. What’s your schedule like after this month? You make your fourth year sound like a vacation, but I know you work your ass off in the ER.”
I laugh. “I guess everything is relative to a medical student. But yes, this year will be a lot more flexible. I think they design it that way, so we have time to interview for residency and to decide where we want to be for the next three to four years.”
There’s a silence and immediately, I get a choking feeling in my throat. Why did I say that? Bringing up residency equals bringing up the concept of a future together, and that’s too soon, right? I forget Jake and I didn’t meet so long ago, because he makes me feel so comfortable. But I probably freaked him out. Of course I did, who in their right mind—
Jake’s next words interrupt my downward spiral. “Are you thinking of staying here?”
I rub my sternum, trying to physically make my chest stop hurting. “Well, I love the program here,” I manage to get out before falling right back into my riptide of panic.
What did he mean by that question? Does he expects me to stick around for him, rewrite my whole existence for him like Weston, and—
Jake puts down his fork and places a hand on mine, as if he senses my fraying nerves. His gray eyes, so open and sincere, search mine. “I’m hoping that I’m still around by the time you make your choice for residency, but regardless, I don’t want you to consider me in your decision. I’m flexible and can move anywhere. And I would.”
All of the gnawing worry just immediately eases. Just like that.
Oh. This man.
In my last relationship, I was the one who was expected to mold myself to another person’s career, dreams, aspirations. But even without my asking, Jake is already offering the same to me. It means…everything. While I would never ask this of him, the fact that he’s willing to uproot his life from everything he knows—his family and friends, his new job…
It’s a lot to take in.
How does Jake always know what to do? How does he ground me so quickly? He’s done that from the very beginning. From the moment I ran out of Tanya’s room, it’s as if he’s been reaching out a steady hand to slow down my crazily spinning axis.
But…I can’t deny that I’m also feeling a multitude of contrasting emotions: flustered but buoyant, uncertain but thrilled, apprehensive but giddy.
In the end, the soft joy I feel from his quiet, steady convictionsupersedes any doubt.
