Page 10 of Love Medley
At that moment, the waitress arrives with our drinks, and I think I’m saved from discussing this subject any further.
But after taking a sip of her mojito, Zoe continues her full-court press. “Is this a Weston thing?”
Part of me just wants to shut down, but instead, I take a beat to think about this. My interest in Dermismostly Weston-driven. He wanted me to have a high-paying job but otherwise be home for our future kids, since he was going to be working most of the time.
How much of my life has Weston dictated?
“Maybe?” I say, finally.
Zoe scowls. “What was his plan? For you guys to couples match in Derm and Ortho? Is he nuts?”
Strangely, a pulse of warmth spreads inside my chest at her protective tone. Maybe I still have a chance to repair what I’ve broken between us.
And then I wince when I remember Weston not only directed my specialty decision, but he also compiled the places where we would apply for residency.
Zoe takes my expression as a yes. “Jesus, Luce. There’s no way.”
Iz and Amelia have similar shocked expressions.
“He does realize that he may not match in Ortho byhimself, right?” Amelia shakes her head. “If I remember correctly, his grades are not exactly stellar. How did he think you guys had any chance matchingtogether? You’d have been completely screwed.”
HowdidWeston think this was going to play out? With clearer vision, I’m realizing the girls are right. Matching alone would have been hard enough in Derm and Ortho. Add being part of a couple into the mix, and our chances of matching would be close to zero. Even though I’m an excellent candidate by myself, Weston would have dragged me down, and I might not have even matched at all. I’m feeling overwhelmed by all of these new realizations.
“He didn’t have the most…objective assessment of his academic record,” I murmur. As I say the words out loud, I realize they’re true. Weston has an elevated opinion of himself and carries himself with such confidence; who was I to contradict him? But the main thing going for Weston is his family influence and money, and while perhaps that would be enough to scorehima residency, what about me? I was willing to risk everything—my entire future—for Weston, a man I am no longer certain took me into account when he made our future plans, and the revelation rocks me to my core.
“Fuck ‘im,” Zoe declares, now meeting my eyes, her expression much more genuine and open. “Thank God you don’t have to deal with that bastard anymore.”
With those words, a light glows in my chest. While I still have work to do on our friendship, I know now that Zoe is back on Team Lucy, and a hard knot loosens inside of me.
Amelia sighs. “Maybe it’s a good time to take a break from men.”
“Are you kidding?” Zoe bats her eyelashes. “Now that I’m free from that idiot Caleb, I’m ready to scope out some new guys.”
“No way. I don’t know if or when I’ll ever be ready to date again,” Amelia groans, likely referring to her ex Owen. For once in our med school careers, we are all currently single—I’m glad that’s one fact I know.
At that thought, I'm struck with inspiration. Grabbing a mini cinnamon bun from the basket, I lift it up in a pantomime of a toast. “I have a great idea! How about this—we swear off guys and just hang out with each other for the rest of the year.”
Zoe shakes her head, but her green eyes glittering in the candlelight. “Men are fine.Love. That’s the problem.”
Amelia told me that Zoe has been speed-dating through the phone book and having a blast. While I have no intentions of dating anyone in the near future, I’m glad Zoe is enjoying herself. Someone should, after all. But a pang of uncertainty goes through me since she isn’t jumping at my proposal—was it a mistake to say it out loud?
“I don't know if I can give up on the idea of love,” mourns Isabelle.
Why did I even bring up this harebrained concept? “I’m sorry, it was a dumb suggestion, just forget about it.”
But then Amelia reaches over to squeeze my hand and gives me a reassuring smile. “I've missed your spur-of-the-moment ideas. I'm all for it.”
“Me too,” Zoe says, her fierce eyes glowing.
Iz gives me a sideways grin. “I could do with fewer complications in my life right now.”
Amelia plucks a roll from the basket, and Iz and Zoe follow. “No love for now. Let’s just focus on each other and have the best fourth year ever.” We all toast her pronouncement with our cinnamon buns, and then everyone but me takes a bite.
I want to eat it so badly, but I’ve been on a sweets ban for so long. Amelia raises a questioning eyebrow, so I hastily take a small bite. The warm, chewy dough with the sweet, white icing floods my taste buds.
Putting the cinnamon roll down before I’m tempted to cram the whole thing in my mouth, I say, “I just know fourth year is going to be the best year yet.”
With all of these amazing women in my corner, I feel a swell of hope. Maybe, just maybe, with their support, it’ll come true.
